Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.

698 replies

AManWalksIntoABarOuch · 23/12/2017 15:34

100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to and how on earth will I get it out of the washing as the lid has come off (presumably in the machine) and I'm guessing it will be all over it now. Luckily it was a dark wash. I've stopped the washing machine and put it on drain.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Pinkywoo · 26/12/2017 13:19

Conjugal I'm having a dermoid cyst removed in a couple of weeks, and the consultant says it has teeth and bones in it! I have named it Malcolm and want to keep him in a jar, the pre-op nurse thought I was joking...

HariboForBreakfast · 26/12/2017 13:33

I've got a piece of teacup in my foot from when I accidentally kicked over the cup of tea that grandad gave to me when I was 7 and didn't want to own up, just stuck a plaster over it and it healed. That was 41 years ago and nothing ever came of it.

BendyBusBuggy · 26/12/2017 13:46

Mine is very tame.
I trod on some glass while on holiday in Italy as a child and had a large cut on my big toe. Rooting around didn't produce any results so I thought there was nothing in it.
The wound healed over but hurt and after 3 weeks I had another go and fished out a triangular shard about the size of my thumb nail.
Very satisfying

DancingOnParsnips · 26/12/2017 13:59

My DH used to get a lump behind his ear. When you squeezed it, little squiggles of pus came out - the same as if you nibble the corner off a dairylea triangle and squeeze!

VivaLeBeaver · 26/12/2017 14:03

I have a lump like that, dh likes squeezing it. Smelly cheese wiggles come out of it. Had it for years. Surgeon friend sliced it open with a scalpel once and then proclaimed she couldn’t do any more as it was rock solid inside. She’s not a sporner! I can’t see it sadly or I’d do it myself.

LadyTy · 26/12/2017 14:03

I went swimming in the sea in while on holiday in Spain. Water was quite rough (storm coming in) and my friends and I got tumbled about quite a lot by the waves. For months afterwards I was convinced I could hear water sloshing around in my ear. Went to the doctor a couple of times, they said there was nothing there, I kind of learned to live with it. Two years later I was running up the stairs, sloshing sound got really loud, I tipped my head and a dozen pebbles fell out of my ear!

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 14:05

This thread is seriously disturbing me!! As for the lipstick either your husband is having an affair, it's a fetish, somebody has put it in his pocket for a laugh at a party or him and his mates were using it at a party to write on things or themselves....

ConjugalHoliday · 26/12/2017 14:27

@Pinkywoo I hope you get to keep Malcolm, then you can come back and post pictures on this thread!

Dermoid cysts sound fascinating! My friend had a tooth removed from her ovary Shock

savingyourlife · 26/12/2017 14:42

I had my tragus pierced as a teenager (the little pointy bit in the front middle of your outer ear). Over the course of a year or so, my body slowly reject the bar and the piercing got pushed further and further towards towards the edge of my skin, before it finally plopped out in the bath one day. Envy I now have a very funny shaped tragus. I have included an annotated diagram of my ear for interest and clarity.

There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine.
LemonysSnicket · 26/12/2017 14:47

I had what I thought was a cyst for 2 years on my belly, eventually pissed me off so went to cut it our. Embedded sesame seed, 2 YEARS.

NewNameWhoDis · 26/12/2017 15:04

Opened thread expecting OPs partner was having an affair, ends up being the weirdest thread I've ever read.

Amazing.

VivaLeBeaver · 26/12/2017 15:05

I want to know if the clothes got covered in lipstick.

Straycatblue · 26/12/2017 15:14

I found a small seashell under a skin covered lump on my skull once, weird things happen sometimes?

Oh god.. as a child I found loads of bits of seashell embedded in my legs. We had just come back from holiday and I had spent a lot of time in the sea.

We found a piece of seashell in dhs foot too, we hadn’t been to the beach in over a year. His foot suddenly started hurting and he thought it was a splinter but no the shell was totally embedded and must have been there for ages.

Looks at own body suspiciously for signs of unexpected seashell erupting.

ManorMouse · 26/12/2017 15:24

Once, when I was in my early teens, I had a series of really violent sneezes. I could feel something moving down my nasal passage. When the sneezing stopped, I examined my hanky and found a piece of Lego - a single-sized white brick sitting there. I have no recollection of a much younger me shoving it up my hooter in the first place.

I also had tiny pieces of glass under the skin of my left shin after I fell off a wall onto a load of broken bottles and assorted rubbish. It took several years for them all to come out.

JeremyCorbynsBeard · 26/12/2017 15:24

I too have a forehead full of shattered glass from a car accident 30 years ago. Makes an appearance now and again in the form of a big Whitehead
Have also had an ingrown hair in my foot which was excruciatingly painful.

IAmLucy · 26/12/2017 15:37

Having a nice relaxing soak and decided to come back to this thread. Darent look at my own body incase some kind of seashell/man made object starts appearing Confused

Pinkywoo · 26/12/2017 15:48

ConjugalHoliday me too but my partner thinks I'm nuts. Malcolm is currently residing on my right ovary, some of the Google images are amazing!

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 16:02

Teeth and bones in Malcom.? How??? Shock

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 16:03

God I've just googled it really wish I hadn't!! They can grow hair too I'm so shivery after that...

PasstheStarmix · 26/12/2017 16:04

And eyes too...

bananafish81 · 26/12/2017 16:10

My friend had an ovarian teratoma (dermoid cyst) removed - it also had hair and teeth. There have been some incredible videos of dermoid cysts on r/popping on reddit not that I'm a total sporner who regularly checks in to r/popping for regular fixes of grim videos

NewLove · 26/12/2017 16:47

Wow a lot of relplies - did the OP ever work out where it came from?

Breeze241 · 26/12/2017 17:22

Woah lipstick in the washing machine, did he own up? I once found a thong in my drier that wasn't mine. I quizzed my DH about it and he said he was sorry he had shrunken one of my pairs of knickers to the size of a thong. He explained how he washed them at 40c instead of 30c and that the outer panty string got caught on his belt and pulled away. He tried to fix them and make them look pretty by frilling them. I thought 'awww how sweet' and accepted his apology. Not all men are jerks!

Mustang27 · 26/12/2017 17:25

Omfg what did I just google!!! Why would you name it I feel very uneasy lol

Straycatblue · 26/12/2017 17:28

There is a lipstick going around in the washing machine that isn't mine. 100% certain dh is not having an affair so who does the lipstick belong to

OP, to be honest the unexpected turn this thread has taken, it would seem likely that the lipstick erupted from either yours or your husbands body somewhere, be on the lookout for other spontaneous erupting of eyeshadow, mascara, other make up items from your limbs/scalp Grin