Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

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Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

yes, the no pound sign thing is a tad confusing.
I thought it was a mis print at first.
puts glasses on to read it - oh, thats the price then?
all adds to the 'experience' of being ripped off.

What is wanky to some is just detailed to others.

We use terms that are wanky as fuck but are actually just terms for specific things or doing things in a certain way.

What also pisses me off is when an establishment bigs up the artisan nonsense and charges a huge amount, and then serves you an eat-in order on a fuckin' paper plate.

If you've got time to source your Scandanavian chocolate bread and cut it into teeny slices while presenting it as a huge lump under the display dome and lovingly hand-chalk the enormous price of each teeny slice on the bit of slate propped up on a minature easel, then you've got time to wash a fucking china plate.

/still bitter

I'm crying at this thread!

and all you passionate lot would do well to calm the fuck down is getting printed on tshirts mugs for distribution in my office...

'A nude pump' is what happens when I remove DS' nappy after dinner page

Fresh Bread.....Fresh Fruit....Fresh Milk what the actual fuck????
It's just bread fruit and milk you wankmuffins of course it's bloody fresh if it's not why are you selling stale rotten sour items?
Gahhhhhh

A paper plate isn't on really - knowing they just throw it away afterwards isnt adding anything.
I know a lot of this sourcing they go on about is just a list on paper and rung through to a distributor to be delivered next week.
I am suspicious of anything 'home made' in pubs.

xkcd.com/1774/ :)

Page yeah it is. Or maybe its lactofree or something. In an artisinal cup.

Coffee

So long as that's not a dry-processed hand-roasted vintage Nicaraguan coffee displaying a mild, fruity brightness with tendencies to lower-toned sensations such as papaya/apricot and smoky chocolate rounded off with warming caramel notes, mind you

Absolutely page I drink no other kind.

Then you are dead to me. And I don't even want to hear about the oranges.

Marks and spencer cafe, chicken and super greens soup…chicken and leek then?

The thing most of these have in common is they're often quite ordinary things dressed up in marketing language to make them seem trendy and aspirational - and therefore justifying the huge mark-ups.

What annoys me about clothes in particular is that as the quality of high street clothing declines, the "aspirational" language bigging them up is even more ludicrous than ever. Sure, I might buy a "piece" from a top designer's Parisian atelier (in my dreams, if I could actually afford it) but if I'm buying a £35 polyester work blouse from M&S I just can't fool myself I'm living the dream by referring to it as "a piece" that I'm going to "team with" "a statement trouser" and "a bold red lip"

Perhaps I should change my name to 'cold-brewed, single estate charcoal-roasted Kenyan coffee and sun drenched, Andalucian heirloom oranges'.

Not quite as catchy though

And then after you've ordered your wankily described meal from the wonky blackboard, and it comes all wankily arranged on a chuffing roof tile in a complete deconstructed wankfest, they bring you the bill...

Which is artfully tucked inside an old paperback book. Written in Afrikaans.

I LOVE that McDonald's advert.

What I find quite wanky is those speak easy bars with passwords like 'Im a chicken cluck cluck'.Just not necessary.
My sil and I went to one recently which you access through a fridge door. Neither of us would open the door in case it was you know? A fridge?
We ended up in a traditional bar which was just my taste, sil had a pouty face (she likes wanky things)

Trinny's going on about a 'black legging' and a 'trouser' right now...

Montana I love vintage clothes - I have quite a few 60s/70s tops etc but I can't bring myself to even describe them as 'vintage' for fear of sounding wanky, let alone 'pieces'. Half the people I work with will have worn similar items first time round, so I do slightly cringe at the thought of them noticing and scoffing at me for wearing clothes they would have worn 40 years ago!

I can't understand the car fragrance dangler called 'new car'.
When I last sat in a new car it smelled horrible - like gluey carpet - not at all nice.

I went into a Planet Organic last night - was on the Tottenham Court Road and wanted some soya milk.

There were many products in the chiller cabinet, sort of posh, fresh ready meals, clearly aimed at adults (including the price), all loudly labelled "the yummy tummy co." No. Wanky.

Weeping here. This thread is hilarous.

But Pintofwine, wtf is this:
What I find quite wanky is those speak easy bars with passwords like 'Im a chicken cluck cluck'.Just not necessary.
My sil and I went to one recently which you access through a fridge door. Neither of us would open the door in case it was you know? A fridge?

Never heard of them! Do explain...

What the fuck is 'vintage' coffee?

What a cop out! They could at least be specific:

American civil war vintage: Cut with ground acorns for that tooth-dyeing tannic effect.

1895 'Postum' vintage: Guaranteed non-stimulating coffee with wheat, bran and molasses.

WW1 ration pack vintage: Mud.

1940s/50s ration book era vintage: Dandelion roots

And then after you've ordered your wankily described meal from the wonky blackboard, and it comes all wankily arranged on a chuffing roof tile in a complete deconstructed wankfest, they bring you the bill...

Which is artfully tucked inside an old paperback book. Written in Afrikaans.

Ah, you've eaten at the Botanist too, Breakfast?

I'm all about the wankery here, probably because I live so rurally that true wankery hasn't actually made it to us yet. It's more something we enjoy on a "trip into town" IYSWIM, so still a huge wanky novelty.

As it is, DH has declared my cornucopiarange of Method cleaning products to be wanky