Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

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Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

No it's fair enough I guess! I suppose the wanky line falls in different places!

OP I love you. I didn't think anyone other than me used the word wanky! Turns out they do and a big hurrah for that.

Everything everyone has said is indeed wanky to the absolute max. Very well done for that.

I can't actuall think of anything but I will. Oh yes I will soon.

Bummer - I burnt the dinner because I was reading this post. Or maybe it was just charred with hints of blackened carrots and browned potatoes. I had to deconstruct the vegetables to make them slightly more edible. Down to my usual standard, then!

Somebody in my street is selling his house and garden as a seperate plot that surely has to be wanky it is a bloody ex council house

I live in part of South London which has allegedly been up and coming for at least 25 years, on the edge of various places that must be hitting Peak Wank.

Local pub has been done up and keeps experimenting with all sorts, so went through the obligatory phase of burger and chips on stupid planks of wood and things in baskets.

I was very proud when the landlord ditched them all and went back to plates in under a fortnight "as so many of my regulars complained"!

At least Croydon is nearby if I really want to escape wankery. Michelin restaurant with simple lists of food on the menu and the closest it gets to wank is losing the second decimal place on prices.

The word slaw isn't wanky (more like redneck) - if it hasn't got cabbage in, it can't be coleslaw anyway (Kohl = German for cabbage).

Now any shredded veg in mayo that doesn't involve cabbage and calls itself kale slaw or whatever probably is wanky. ..

Coffee irritates my bladder, I take great delight in going into wanky coffee places and ordering a green tea.

What a great thread. Not sure pulled pork is really wanky, and I love it. Although enjoy pulling it myself But pulled chicken....! Do they mean dry and overcooked then? And of course chicken tikka 'Cornish' pasty. WTF! I will accept only veg in a pasty so those poor veggies can have one.

One of the delights/sadnesses (take your pick) of getting older is the realisation that almost EVERYTHING is pure wankery, and your inner Victoria Meldrew can seethe happily/miserably (take your pick) all day. My theory is that after a few decades of adulthood the entertainment of passing foibles (and crikey there are lots) ceases to be quite so amusing, especially as they seem to be repeated ('didn't they do that in the 1970s?') but some amusement can be restored with the help of alcohol. And a like-minded friend.

Aaaww himoverthere I love craft beer 🍻

Would be perceived as wanky now? The Numan was my first human crush, at 7 years old. Previous one was the rugby ball shaped head puppet from Sesame Street. Ernie?

B1rdonawire yes!! Onboarding and other such wankery....the current one at my work is socialise - you think that's not so bad, yes it is in this context
'Ok that's a good idea I think we should socialise it with our business partners to gauge interest'

Oops gage not gauge

RubbishMantra Gary Numan scared me! First crushes though, there's a whole new thread in that! Cannon from Cannon and Ball

No.Fucking.Way., Bunny. My second human crush was Bobby Ball. At least we wouldn't have had an ironic fight over Cannon n Ball, in a caffeine induced frenzy. Tripped over by the crotches of our skinny jeans, that hang lower than the actual knees.

I disliked my primary school teacher ever since I brought in a poster of The Numan though, on a "favourite things" day. Teacher called Numan "short". I had a bit of a crush on my teacher up until that day, who was also short, (about 5'). After that he was my nemesis.

Sparechange I was absolutely ended by your balloon cocktail post earlier I was in fits when dd got in the car after school I couldn't post then but I've had to come back to tell you that story is hilarious 😂😂😂😂

Oh yes - "smashed" food. Cocktails "muddled" with fruit. In fact cocktail menus are a whole level of wankery in themselves.

Boho.

Who says you have to go to Shoreditch for impressive levels of cocktail wankery?

www.cutandchase.co.uk/menus/cocktails

"Swap out" instead of "swap" applied to everything from sweaters to sinks, try "replace".

Page that cocktail menu is just fab....

'Ok that's a good idea I think we should socialise it with our business partners to gauge interest'

Boak. Not heard that one before - I'm now dreading its arrival in my workplace. Or, should I say, I dread it landing ...