Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

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Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

Hate the term artisan - simply won't buy 'artisan bread', utter cr8p!

PageStill "sidle up...with a chair and whip"

Nice one.

Why, oh why, does MN not have a cackle emoticon.

Ffs, they are LEMONS.

No, no I'm not. And all you passionate lot would do well to calm the fuck down.

Can't believe no-one has mentioned Hygge, utter wankery.

Hygge , sounds very IKEA.

Hygge itself isn't wanky, but the recent take up of it and the ensuing mass rush for shite candles, twinkly lights and a chunky knit (wanky fashion singular) might well be.

'Laid to lawn' - estate agent speak for grass

Eating food serving on a bit of wood is wanky

Wearing fake jewellery and cracking on its real is wacky.

Also 'hand finished' greetings cards - still from Clintons, Hallmark etc but someone has used some sticky foam and whacked a heart or flower on the front, (usually wonky and out of place) and they get to charge you a whole five pound note for it!

My DH (down to earth, not big cafe user) at Supermarket cafe:
"Cup of coffee please"
Reply " What sort of coffee?"
DH " Coffee with milk please"
Reply " But what sort...Latte, Americano, Cappuccino, flat white....?
DH "Just an ordinary one thanks"
Reply "You'll need to tell me exactly what you want"
DH "Just a coffee...you know, spoon of Nescafe, boiling water, milk"
Reply " Sorry, thats not something we sell here"
(Me, cringing but peeing myself behind him in the queue 😄😄)

I live in a very wanky area. We have a weekly artisan market. I've eaten many hanging kebabs and paid £4 for raw, vegan cake slices that don't taste as good as a snickers. There's a gin bar, local gin is served with a rosemary garnish. I'm fine with most of it but what really bugs is that everything and I mean EVERYTHING around here is 'bespoke'. There is a bespoke sandwich shop that is literally just a sandwich shop that sells sandwiches and crisps and fizzy drinks. It's as if it was only allowed to reside here if it had 'bespoke' in the title. Wanky wankers.

Ohhloolala I'm really really curious as to where you live now! Can I have a clue?

• "In branch" instead of "in a branch" vis a vis banks.
• Already mentioned: "Pan fried" What else will they use, a dustbin lid?
• "Like" inserted into a sentence every other word. Most teens guilty of this.
• Those mad eyebrows like a clown/Cara D.
• Jeans with huge slashes in them. Incomprehensible.
• Fill 'out' a form, instead of fill 'in'.

Can you tell I'm past early middle age?!

'I could care less' is very wanky

It's in the north west... I reckon anyone fairly nearby will know!

Ha ha oohloola we're in the NW and read your post and wondered...we live in an area that ticks many, many wanky boxes.

Bespoke kitchens.
Means: people who havent bought it in B and Q cooke n lewis range.

A question for you folks. When does Hipster Wankery become "Ironic"?

When they eat pie n mash. In a greasy spoon.

Yes, it's putting the name Hygge on it that I find wanky.

So the cafe was wanky for not having instant coffee barb?

I suppose, splend, i was just thinking that to some people (my DH) even all the different coffees there are to choose from these days seem wanky (maybe we're just old!)