Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

[00100001]

Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

AndShesGone
HelpTheTigers ooh an excellent one. Boasts is another nails on blackboard abuse. Extra special in the London market where frankly dire accommodation is glowingly marketed, presumably boasting a door, window that opens and shuts, and an indoor toilet.

Estate agent wankery is on a whole other split level. And speaking of levels, I notice flats are now described as "lateral". "This stunning lateral apartment boasts a spectacular versatile living space".

How on earth did you eat it !!

I quite like Mellow Birds :)

They served a very wanky deconstructed Eton mess in a restaurant the other day .... so basically strawberries, meringue and cream but not squished!

Avocado appears to be this month's wankery addition to everything, taking over from whatever was trendy last month. V trendy coffee shop behind king's cross has the most deliciously gorgeous wankery food .... they serve red quinoa and organic oat almond milk porridge

@WindwardCircle

You are my people! 😆
I HATE:

The Spring Edit
The Hygge Edit
Grr Edit

Super Wanky'

Drove past Starbucks just now in the window they are advertising a Blonde Espresso, what's that then a coffee with milk in??? Made me think of this thread

hideous American style wankery....proms

Latte Art = wanky

Well apparently blonde coffee is "Lighter-bodied and mellow, Starbucks® Blonde Roast coffees awaken the senses gently. They’re subtle and soft with mellow acidity, and deliver an approachable and flavourful cup with slight hints of roast."

So now you know ...

Need gone.

On Facebook selling sites

Shoreditch. It's a one stop hipster shop full of wanky things and wanky people. Fuck Shoreditch.

Tizzy er, otherwise known then, as a weak, watery coffee? Or, spotting the mellow reference in there, maybe its a vintage, retro, deconstructed Birds!!!!

Gighasmokedhalibutisawesome as soon as I read it I thought of Mellow Birds.

Its lightly roasted beans seemingly (them there coffee beans that aren't actually beans)

I love this thread, but have spent fricken wanky yonks looking up words and phrases that I've never wanky heard of. I must be so uncool that I mustn't be too wanky (hope.....)

An "approachable" cup of coffee? As opposed to having to sidle up to one's usual caffeine fix with a chair and a whip?

We had family over last week during half term, and took them to our local wanky pub where their food was served in wanky mini pans
SIL sent me a photo a few days later of them eating their dinner out of the little pans from their play kitchen, because they wanted to recreate the pub lunch

Doomed, they are. And it's all my fault

Wankery lack of product knowledge.
"Regular Americano, please"
"Would you like milk in that?"
"No, by definition an Americano in black . . . "

In my day Shoreditch was just a place in london.

Agree that school Proms and the associated cost and general hysteria over it all is one big load of rubbish . So sorry for anyone coming up to that!
How that took hold, and stayed, is beyond me.

One that really annoys me....TV chefs with their 'plate of food' !!! Grrrr!!!!!! Utter wank

Can I offer "toasted bread"? There's a name for it, it's toast.

Oh God, the Hipster capital Shoreditch reference just reminded me of the hipsters who'd poke the lens bit out of the 3D glasses you get at the cinema, so they could just wear the frames.

He looks like a victorian weightlifter in an engraving

Provenance on the back of a menu to tell you where their hand sourced meal ingredients are from.
And 'pant' 'pants' it's fucking trousers!

I just curated myself a cup of tea (not).

Artisan anything sounds wanky.

I sometimes edit fashion blurb. I will NOT give in to the red lip, black trouser wankspeak!