Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

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Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

Wasn't tea once considered overpriced and wanky?

Everyone will be eating pea smear off slate soon.

I am rocking a corned beef thigh and channelling a bloodshot eyeball. I'm hoping they will both catch on.

Creme anglaise=wanky.

Don't get me started on "artisan gin"

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"How do you eat a "famous hanging kebab"?

With difficulty?

I'm picturing it as an elaborate Halloween game, where you have to try to grab a bite as it swings from the ceiling and if you don't get out of the way quickly enough, it twats you in the face and leaves grilled tomato in your hair."

There's a bar near me that used to be good but is now filled with pretentious hipsters, there's a sign above the bar that proudly displays a list of things they 'definitely don't serve', including stella, white zinfandel, foster's etc.
Although they aren't things I drink, it doesn't seem like good business to make standard pub drinks a thing of ridicule!
Their fish and chips are served on paper too, tossers.

I fucking HATE "shop" used a verb. As in "shop our new summer collection."
The word is "buy", or "browse" if you are being non-commital.

I got into a proper row on Twitter with some discount chain telling people to "shop" their Easter "collection " in fucking January.
(And, eggs do not form part of any collection, it's a "range".)

""Used AS a verb", obviously.

Didn't Gordon Ramsay once pull someone apart for serving a hanging kebab on kitchen nightmares, said it was like a donkeys cock or something ....

m.youtube.com/watch?v=lmd3KZ4subg

Hanging kebab

Anyone remember Curb Your Enthusiasm? Larry going into a coffee shop asking for "some of that bullshit" I have a Larry moment every time I'm out in Glasgow.

I should clarify the hipster infested west end of Glasgow.

I had a cheese toastie served on a flowery trowel at a craft place. With a fake grass mat.

Oh no Lois. Not my beloved Glasgow.

Expected this thread to be all about soggy tissues being left around everywhere

FancyPuffin now I've seen typewriter/post-it man, I feel my life is complete.

Artisan distilled gin a la Toby Fairbrother is wanky, but flavoured gins aren't. Home-made damson gin is a staple for at least two old ladies I know!

STORMIN - you've just had me crying!! Thanks for posting!! 😂😂

Yes dexra Not even down to earth Glaswegians are safe from wankery. It's a daily struggle.

Janey I admit to exaggerating slightly but off the top of my head I can count 22 independent coffee shops, two Caffè Nero's, three Costas and one Starbucks within a 20 minute walk of my house (a town not a city). That is not counting greasy spoons, fast food places, restaurants, or department store cafes. There is much potential for wankiness but actually the filtered water is as wanky as it gets.

There's a super wanky gift shop near mine (grim Northern mining town).

It has a penny farthing in the window covering in silk flowers.
I've never seen anyone in there.

DH reckons it's a front for drugs.

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"""How do you eat a "famous hanging kebab"?
I'm picturing it as an elaborate Halloween game, where you have to try to grab a bite as it swings from the ceiling and if you don't get out of the way quickly enough, it twats you in the face and leaves grilled tomato in your hair."""

I'm picturing that as a sex game and the "hanging kabab" as a euphemism.

I'm glad that I can't afford to eat in these wanky places.

I saw a van the other day with 'artisan plumbing' on the side.

That is my offering to the List of Wanky Things.

'Artisan' anything
Steampunk

Atelier - what is that? A fucking shop?