Wanky things! Wanky things everywhere...

[00100001]

Masons Jars for holding lunch and layered salads etc = wanky

Menus that say things like " Shoestring fries ~ 6.5" = wanky

Nespresso's "Vintage" coffee = wanky

Calling chicken nuggets Chicken Gougons = wanky

Gah!

Use of the word "Guys" is plaguing our local cafes, and imo is wanky.

"Hi Guys, how are you today?" Standard response: "thirsty".

I would weep with gratitude at a "Hi guys". Nowadays you get "Hey, guys!" Wankery is insidiously creeping in everywhere.

And JUST SERVE ME FOOD ON CHINA GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL LOCAL PUB

:o

Freekeh - the new "superfood" - double wanky!! We had it last night - what's wrong with rice ffs!

Pan Fried. It sounds healthy, but in actual fact it is food that has been fried

Pan fried doesn't sound healthy, its not intended to. The clue is in the There are plenty of wanky foodie phrases, but that is not one of them!

Ah, but fried in a frying pan^ doesn't have quite the same ring to it!

It's not quite as wanky as some of these splendid examples, but 'hacks' instead of 'tips' really gets on my wick.

Quinoa.

The name alone is wanky.

I've found my people.

I enjoy going into the wankiest hipster joints I can find and ordering a milky coffee while giving a dead eyed fish stare, take that Sawdust Bill.

I went to a nightclub last year for the first time in ages and they served cocktails in a fucking tea cup and there were lamps everyfuckingwhere.

I miss the 90s

SPARECHANGE

please tell me this is true.....one of the funniest things I have ever heard....(just spat tea out over my keyboard though when I read it!).

"I went there a few years ago and ordered a cocktail. As I started to drink it, the barman burst a balloon in my face.
When I had finished jumping out of my skin, he kindly informed me that the balloon had been filled with an aroma to compliment my drink, and I was to now inhale the balloon air to improve the taste of my drink"

Less stuff in the 90s. Even less in the 80s!
Cocktails shd be in cocktail glasses.

No, it's not just you. I think lots of independent cafe, restaurant and ship proprietors get so hung up on being different and innovative that they end up sounding, well..... wanky.

I read a brilliant article about the late Keith Floyd the other day written by one of his old friends. He said Keith held no truck with such idiocy: ".... ingredients were never 'sourced', Keith just 'went shopping'..."!

WW1 ration pack vintage: Mud.

M and s didnt help with their ' this isnt just any old food, its m and s more expensive food' ads. That was the start of it all.

Life hacks = wanky

Hastags = #wanky 😁

A lovely and well endowed, friends response to hi guys, is to lift her ample bosom and ask what do you think these are? Cue red faced hipster mumbling, and me giggling like a kid

My Dad and his siblings drank out of jam jars because they were poor.

Tomatoes on the vine v expensive. All tomatoes are grown on a vine the difference being some poor sods pick them off and those ones are cheaper.

I must say I loved picking tomatoes as a child for my Dad, sniffing my fingers and then washing my green stained hands.

I miss the 90s

Amen to that!

I said fuck off and switched the telly off in disgust some guy on food network said "slaw" it gives me the rage dog gave me a

Space =wanky it is a ROOM

So true about jam jars. My mum was the same.
Wait long enough and everything goes full circle it seems!

My DM is above all wanky behaviour. When faced with the question "which coffee wouldyou like? " replies " I just want a NORMAL coffee!" (I think she means nescafe and not wanky ethically sourced, prepared by virgins, to a traditional blend coffee )

Ugh... YY to 'life hacks'.

The wankiest 'hack' I saw recently, it wasnt in the daily fail honest
was one using 3 old (vintage ) musty books, bound together with elastic bands and used as an alternative knife block.

There are no words! well, actually there are.
WANK.

Pan fried is fair enough because it gives you the useful information that it's not deep fried.

I live in the heart of Saw You Coming country but everyone has already posted them so my offering is Mitchell and Webb on food snobbery.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=HOaiFBuvUSg

The altitude of which coffee beans are sourced is important.
Its not to me.
That is the ultimate first world problem.

.

Crying laughing at this....

Thats a good idea actually..
For packed lunches and stuff.

Bog standard pasta in M&S is "air dried". Thank goodness. I was worried it'd been dried in water. Or a vacuum