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Original poster

Banged my head on a shop window.

289 replies

TheClaws · 11/01/2017 02:43

It was a classy jewellery shop, too. I bent closer to look at a ring, and banged smashed my head against the glass. All the shop assistants - they were five of them! - and customers turned around to stare. I continued to peer at the rings as if I didn't have a care in the world. Blush

Please let me know you've embarrassed yourselves too in public spaces, and not just me?

OP posts:
ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 13/01/2017 21:42

KatoPotato that is hilarious!!!!

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 13/01/2017 21:52

My lovely best friend has one that I know took a looong time for her to live down! It still creases me up when I remember it!! We were teenagers, at a party at my house with, amongst others, my older brothers 'cool' friends around who we were desperate to impress. People all over the house, we were headed to the conservatory but as people were smoking out there, they had closed the large sliding patio doors to keep the smoke out of the house. Being slightly tipsy and over confident, my friend strode ahead, slap bang into the closed glass door. The force knocked the door out of the frame and it fell into the room, with my friend on top of it! It landed at an angle like a slide on the dining table and my friend then gracefully slid down to the bottom of it. Stunned silence followed by the loudest cacophony of cheers and clapping you ever heard. I can still picture the scene to this day! Probably one of my funniest memories!! (Although older and more sensible me now shudders at the possibility that the glass could have shattered and my friend gone through the frame!!!)

car5ys · 13/01/2017 22:34

Was in a mall on hols in US going up an escalator turned to chat to my ds and reached the top where I promptly landed on my bum with my ds ontop of me! Also walking to work on a Saturday am couple of years ago chatting to a colleague when I fell over, was on the river bridge in front of a traffic jam, several blew their horns I was mortified got straight up and carried on as if nothing had happened with my colleague in fits of laughter.

OhSoggyBiscuit · 13/01/2017 23:52

The other day I tripped whilst boarding a bus- I swiped my oyster and quickly scuttled to a seat!

And there was the time I got locked on a train, the other half of which was on its way to London...

Original poster
TheClaws · 14/01/2017 06:13

I committed another one today. I've been at a museum exhibition, but as I am not particularly suited to walking for a long time, I was in a wheelchair. The exhibition was VERY crowded. My DH was driving me around but sometimes I'd be sitting by an exhibit waiting for him. I turned to the side and leant my head of the bum of my DH who was reading a description. After a minute, I saw my DH approaching from another direction altogether! Up snaps my head and the man moves off, sniggering.... Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
TheClaws · 14/01/2017 06:14

We must make sure these aren't lost ... I'll nominate for Classics.

OP posts:
Boomerwang · 14/01/2017 08:36

oh god keeplooking you reminded me of a really embarrassing one... I was driving a works vehicle with two other passengers - big burly men in workwear as our job was park maintenance - and we were discussing which place to work next. Once agreed I drove us there. One of the men commented on the route I was taking and I responded with 'well mummy wants to go THIS way'
There was a short silence before the jokes started...

My daughter had recently been quite commanding in the car.

DireTires · 14/01/2017 09:25

These are so 😂

I agree for classics. Have loved this thread.

TomHardyswife · 14/01/2017 09:26

I was in a clothes shop changing rooms trying on a long, heavy evening dress. I put the dress on, decided I didn't like it's it was a bit on the tight side...and then got completely stuck trying to take it off.

I had crossed my arms pulled the dress from the bottom and lifted the dress with my arms stretched upwards over my head. Except the bodice was that tight when my arms were stretched upwards and the dress covering my face, it got completely stuck. I panicked and tried everything to get the damn dress off me but nothing worked. Then I could hear a vague tearing sound coming from within.

In the end I had to resort to shouting to the changing room sales assistant. It was a muffled shout from within the dress, arms still upwards with my arms clamped to the side of my face due to the tightness. Except there was nobody there. My heart started to race as I am slightly claustrophobic and it was getting really hot and sweaty in all the fabric.

In the end I had to resort to emerging out of the changing rooms onto a busy shop floor and trying to discreetly flag someone down. People stopped to stare at the mad woman with arms stretched out in a mangled dress with underwear on view. Three sales assistants finally managed to get me out of the dress after an almighty fuss and commotion using a pair of scissors. Mortified and red faced I raced out of shop.

FurryLittleTwerp · 14/01/2017 09:43

Oh god Tom I've done that! My friends and I used to have a laugh trying on the most hideous things we could find in communal shop changing rooms.

Once I tried on a disgusting bright green shiny dress that was much too tight. It sort of jammed under my boobs when I tried to get it off over my head! Fortunately my friends got me out of it but it was a struggle Grin

BonnesVacances · 14/01/2017 11:11

This will probably out me but I can always NC.

I was on a non-touristy beach in Spain with my then DP. In those days before children when I was more confident about my body I used to sunbathe and swim topless. We came out of the sea after a swim and all our belongings had been stolen. Someone told us that an old-ish lady had come along, packed everything up and walked off. They thought she was our mother so hadn't said anything to her.

DP immediately ran off to see if he could find her as he had a description. Leaving me on the beach, surrounded at this point by lots of locals who were interested in the theft of the belongings of the young English couple, wearing nothing more than a pair of bikini bottoms.

I styled it out. Despite having limited Spanish and not really being able to make small talk until DP came back hours later. I'm surprised it's not on the internet somewhere! It caused quite a sensation! Grin

soselfopinionated · 14/01/2017 13:11

Cocolepew You actually made me cry Grin

So many.....
I was 8 mths pg with DC4. My exh and I had taken the other kids around a James and the Giant Peach exhibition. They all walked off and a security guard came up to me and asked if I was okay? I said no actually, I felt quite faint. He quickly led me to the nearest chair and went off to get a glass of water. I put my head down and took a few deep breaths. However, when I looked up I was surrounded by a bunch of tourists staring at me - which was when I realised the security guard had put me in the middle of a display which was part of the exhibition.

Another one, I climbed into attic for so called friend but couldn't reach ladder to come down. She held a three step ladder with a handle so I could hang down and put my feet on the handle. 'Do NOT let go,' I said. Her words were, 'do you think I'm a cabbage?' One minute later she let go to brush the dirt off my trousers.... the ladder went one way and I was left hanging through the open hatch. I used words that day I didn't know I knew!

jennielou75 · 14/01/2017 14:31

I was in a pedalo as a teenager with my younger sister. We were called in so went up to the pier. My sister jumped out. I have dispraxia but I confidently put one foot up on the pier. The boat then started to swing backwards and I started doing the splits! My mum was shouting at me to step into the lake but I was fully dressed. I held on for as long as I could then gave up and dropped into the water. I was soaked and covered with mud up to my knees. I gave the large audience a laugh as I squelched out of the water by walking to the shallow part.

BrondeBombshell · 14/01/2017 17:40

Bonnesvacances how awful!!!!

BrondeBombshell · 14/01/2017 17:41

Ps i read it in the Benalmádena Bugle ;-)

RoystonVaseySmegHead · 14/01/2017 21:42

Today while reading this thread I fell over on the bus. On the seat at the back where the emergency door is (one in front of the back seat) and sometimes there's a step up to the back and some times there isn't. I Stood up to let ds move as the bus was braking for our stop and didn't think tho see if there was a step or not.... as the bus stopped I rocked forwards then tried to pull myself backwards.... except I was stood next to the step so I ended up going flat on my back and couldn't get up fast enough because I was trying to stop ds falling on me and was sort of wedged between the seats... finally managed to get myself up after 5 minutes of wriggling that was probably only about 20 seconds grabbed ds and hobbled off as fast as I could

CupcakeQueen123 · 17/01/2017 09:05

I seem to have found my people.

I would describe myself as a cackhanded cluster fuck on a daily basis.

I think my most memorable incident was:

I was 20 and had not long moved in with DH. we went to get chips for tea and I was skipping along (as you do) with shoes with no grip on the soles I skipped through the chippy door and as my shoe hit the polished floor I skidded at speed across the floor and banged my head on the counter causing me to be knocked out.
I woke up across the road on a grass verge.
I still remember seeing all the faces looking at me open mouthed before my face mounted the forehead height (for me) counter. It was busy too as they just opened.

We carried on living in the village for 10 years and everytime I went in the owner gave me a laughing smile. I can imagine him thinking oh shit it's that woman again, get the crash helmet ready.

My other most memorable incident that gets mentioned quite often is when me and DH went to the dry ski slope, on reflection it was a very bad idea and I should of never been allowed in.

As I struggle with the concept of walking on a daily basis skiing was obviously not my forte we hadn't been there long, we were on a practice slope when I started slipping forward I panicked and grabbed my DH arm to steady myself. It worked and I stopped but my DH was caught unaware and I threw him off balance and he fell to the ground breaking his arm in the process.

Deathraystare · 17/01/2017 15:02

My friend's sister must have tripped a bit near a sliding door and left a long red streak of lippie on the glass!

jooly22 · 17/01/2017 21:19

One night I ran into the supermarket to pick something up whilst DP waited in the car outside. It was dark and raining heavily and when I came out the supermarket I jumped into the passenger seat of the car without really looking. Suddenly I was face to face with an utterly terrified, screaming woman in the driving seat. I had obviously gotten into the wrong car and the poor woman most likely thought she was being carjacked!

To make matters worse, I became weak and breathless with hysterical laughter at my mistake so it was several moments before I could apologise and get out of her car. She just screamed the entire time...

littlefrenchonion · 17/01/2017 21:35

I've done the queuing to pay, stood behind a mannequin thing a few too many times.

Also, in M&S today I tried to pick up a basket and it took me far, far too long to realise it was the bottom basket, which was cabletied to the base - not meant for use. Caught a couple looking at me a bit pityingly trying to work out why I couldn't pick it up 😳

user1471506373 · 18/01/2017 11:02

Not me, my dp

Years ago when dd was a newborn i sent him to purchase some lansinoh from boots. In his sleep deprived haze he fell just before getting onto the escalator to get to the ground floor and landed up on his knees. Tried several times to get up whilst on the escalator but couldn't manage so had to ride down it on his hands and knees. The escalator spat him out on the floor at the bottom. He claims he was so tired he lay there for a minute before getting up. Caught several shop assistants staring at him with open mouths before he made it out

ManorMouse · 19/01/2017 16:16

Caught a couple looking at me a bit pityingly trying to work out why I couldn't pick it up

Last week, I picked up a basket in M&S and swanned off to do my shopping. It wasn't until I tried to lower the basket that I realised that the pocket flap on my coat had slid into the loop in the handle and the blunt end of the wire handle was preventing it from sliding back out.

I tried styling it out as I fiddled with it but had to admit defeat and take off my coat so that I could use both hands. I got a lot of Hmm from my fellow shoppers.

amusedbush · 19/01/2017 16:37

When I was on holiday a couple of years ago, I was struggling with jetlag and was really tired during the day. We were in a supermarket when I yawned and stretched my arms out, accidentally putting my hand into a woman's coat pocket Blush

I yelped and pulled my hand back but she was very nice about it!

Mercedes519 · 25/01/2017 18:05

I'm so pleased this thread is still going.

Today I walked past a wheely bin at work and managed (I don't know how) to knock my elbow on it. How the fuck do I do that all the time?

It made a really loud plastic-y noise and hurt like hell. As usual I just styled it out like it didn't hurt at all while in my head thinking 'fuck fuck fuck that hurt'.

How are there people that DON'T do these things?

maisiejones · 25/01/2017 23:56

Many years ago when then DP and I were newly dating we were up in the Tottenham Court Road area one evening for an appointment I had. I went off for this arranging to meet him later. We duly met up and caught a bus for home. As the bus rounded a corner into TC Road, he casually drew my attention to a men's outfitters with a large plate glass window with the words 'See that window.....?' I looked and all I could see was utter carnage in the window as all the mannequins were laying in a heap. 'I did that' he said. Apparently he leaned in for a better look at the clothes, misjudged it and his head hit the window. The hand of one of the artistically arranged figures must have been touching the glass, it toppled and the rest went over like nine-pins. Not one was left standing. God knows what the staff thought when they arrived for work in the morning. We had hysterics all the way home.