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Original poster

Banged my head on a shop window.

289 replies

TheClaws · 11/01/2017 02:43

It was a classy jewellery shop, too. I bent closer to look at a ring, and banged smashed my head against the glass. All the shop assistants - they were five of them! - and customers turned around to stare. I continued to peer at the rings as if I didn't have a care in the world.

Please let me know you've embarrassed yourselves too in public spaces, and not just me?

OP posts:

FurryLittleTwerp · 12/01/2017 18:58

I've just remembered the cat walking into a pane of glass when I was a child.

We had secondary double glazing - DM & DF had taken out a huge pane to clean it & it was standing vertical across the hall with dad & I holding an end each, ready to go back in the frame.

The cat marched down the hall & crashed into it, bounced off, shook her head a bit & then spent ages carefully sniffing round it while mum wiped off the smears of cat snot

PastysPrincess · 12/01/2017 19:01

I sat in a cafe in the underground floor of a shopping centre with my cousin. We were having a bite to eat before going shopping. When we were done my cousin excitedly ran toward the escalator to go up a level to the shops but unfortunately for her it was the descending escalator. If she hadn't been running she would have stopped time but as it was she went arse over tit and flew across the polished floor like a bowling ball. It happened 20 years ago but still makes me laugh out loud.

JakeBallardswife · 12/01/2017 19:03

I regularly go out with clothes inside out. I always check but can't quite seem to get it right. DD always tells me but DS has as much attention to detail as I do...or don't.

redbuttons · 12/01/2017 19:06

Not such a funny one but true. Back in the day, 70s, newly opened supermarket with the new fangled
Automatic doors with a very tall glass panel beside it, one almighty crash, a woman had walked straight through the glass panel, as she stood stunned on the other side the huge triangular piece of glass that was left at the top of the panel came down in its grooves like a guillotine behind her. She was incredible lucky not to be killed. Next day the new glass panel was cover with advertising signs.

Caz3345 · 12/01/2017 19:11

I remember a few years ago when me and a friend took my niece shopping into another town.We decided to visit a sandwich shop for lunch.All went well until it came time for us to leave.My niece in her complete lack of awareness missed the door completely and walked right into the glass window which shook under the impact.Cue one very embarrassed aunt who left promptly dragging my niece behind me.

Daisymaybe60 · 12/01/2017 19:18

On holiday with the family, I walked into our hotel bedroom to see my three DC leaning over the balcony cleaning their sandals by banging them together. Worried that people below would be showered with sand I charged across the room to stop them. Full pelt into the closed plate glass sliding door. It catapulted me straight back across the room and onto the bed, where I lay with my hands over my face blubbing that I'd broken my nose. The family all managed to hold it together for a full 30 seconds before bursting out laughing. And it got worse when they saw the Turin shroud type impression of my suncream-covered face on the glass. This was in the 80s, God bless 'em, before simple H & S warning signs were thought of.

princessmouldilocks · 12/01/2017 19:24

Just want to say thank you for these posts, been feeling really down recently, really cheered me up! I'm so clumsy I accidentally walked into a shop window and took my dd (3!!!) with me! Every one stopped to look at the awful mum knocking her child out and herself

RedGrapeCornSnake · 12/01/2017 19:25

I tried to push my DH and 2 children on a big tyre swing that didn't just go back and forwards but round as well.
I misjudged how far I could push their combined weight and gravity pulled them down harder than I expected. The swing hit me and I managed to run backwards a few steps before falling over backwards with such speed that I had a surprisingly close up view of my knees for a brief moment.
I was laughing so much I couldn't get up, DH thought I was injured and crying so he was desperately trying to wriggle off the swing while it was swinging and he was pinned down with 2 children.
I raised my head to see his desperate wriggling and my eldest trying to pretend she didn't know any of us.
Still makes me laugh now, it would have made an excellent you've been framed video

SanityAssassin · 12/01/2017 19:27

Out running with a friend in the dark, chatting so not paying attention - ran straight in to a big black wheely bin. It hurt.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 12/01/2017 19:29

Many years ago, keen cyclist DH persuaded unsporty me that a tandem was just what we needed so that I could enjoy his pastime with him. Being a stickler for doing things properly, he fitted the pedals with toe straps.

All went really well until we cycled up a short hill and were forced to stop for a red light. We then tipped over to one side very very slowly while DH struggled desperately to get his foot out of the toe straps and weakling me failed dismally to hold upright the combined weight of DH and tandem.

We ended up lying in the middle of the road with the bike on top of us whilst all the traffic was brought to a standstill and people pointed and sniggered out of their car windows.

73kittycat73 · 12/01/2017 19:30

BrondeBombshell, that was hilarious! Laughed out loud at that one!

jemima39 · 12/01/2017 19:37

not me but my mum, holidaying in Thailand, stepped off the shuttle bus onto a tiled area, which had a welcoming line of locals sitting cross legged and playing instruments as a welcome to the country, it had just rained and tiled area was like an ice rink, we mum slipped onto her bum and just carried on skidding across, I can still see the faces of the locals as my mum almost knocked them out like skittles...

Lasagneforbreakfast · 12/01/2017 19:49

In my teens I hooked up with a guy I'd had the hots for for years. I used to see him randomly at clubs once in a while but he'd always had a girlfriend. One night we met at a house party and we were both single so hit it off. We disappeared for a few hours into a bedroom and when I came out I told my cousin/best friend that he wasn't "very gifted in the trouser department" actually... he was tiny. She was drunk and I hadn't noticed. When he came out she called his name really loudly and showed him her pinky finger at the same time, waving it around to him in a mocking way.
I could have died... it still pains me to think about it now. Needless to say, he never talked to me again, even when we kept repeatedly bumping into each other at more parties and clubs. Was a shame as he was gorgeous... that taught me a lesson though!

Nannewnannew · 12/01/2017 20:00

I was sat in the passenger seat of the removal van and we had just arrived on the driveway of our exciting new house! I opened the door and promptly fell out sideways onto the drive! Strangely, I was carrying my (now ex) DPs favourite tumbler and managed to land without breaking that!!

ironmanslady · 12/01/2017 20:05

Ooh after sharing DH's embarrassment I've thought of one for myself (this will definitely out me)
A few years back I was in the park with some friends and their mum and we were running down the hill. I went a bit too fast and managed to catapult myself through the air on to the roundabout (one with about 4 separate partitions going around it) land in the middle of one and whack my head on the centre pole. I did actually knock myself out for a few seconds.
This was followed by a lot of are you alright and a lots of laughter. I was fine and thinking about it now, how I landed was quite impressive and definitely a 'you've be framed moment'
I'm lucky I didn't do myself so serious damage

girlywhirl · 12/01/2017 20:11

Oh I have a ridiculously long list. I'm stupidly clumsy and Dp is equally as bad.

Right now, he has smashed glasses from opening a cupboard straight into his face, I've got a house brick sized bruise on my bum from slipping down the stairs.

My friend once stumbled in a department store, grabbed the nearest thing for support and found herself lying with a lingerie clad mannequin on top of her.

Oldraver · 12/01/2017 20:14

I have mentioned this a few times on here..

At the height of the Foot and Moth Crisis I went to a National Trust property. You had to go up a flight of stone stairs, then a landing about 6ft ish, then the glass doors into the reception. I fell up the last few stairs and fell onto my hands and knees right into the disinfectant trough they had.

I shouted "oh fuck" or somesuch and all faces turned to see who the foul mouthed one was

Thirdload · 12/01/2017 20:15

Yes! Me and DH banged our heads into a very clean shop window simultaneously whilst out walking in town, back in our courting days.. That's how he knew I was the lady he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

wigglewam · 12/01/2017 20:20

Walking through Gap in Oxford street I looked up to see someone directly in front of me. I side stepped out the way, they did the same .. i side stepped the other way.. so did they .. then realised I was in front of a late mirror and was trying to side step my own reflection ... left the shop quickly

Cocolepew · 12/01/2017 20:22

Im a CA in a school and I was sitting crossed legged on the floor painting something. When I went to get up both my feet had pins and needles in them. The whole class of teenagers watched me as I attempted to walked then fall flat on my face, paint going everywhere.
I lay on the floor laughing . Then farted.
Years ago I sat out in the sun in my back garden. The washing line pole fell, hitting me on the head.
I went inside to get a cold compress and used an open packet of frozen peas.
DH came hone to find me lying, knocked out, in front of the open freezer, surrounded by a puddle of water and my head covered in peas.

LittleGoose000 · 12/01/2017 20:31

Elmo I have don't the bow thing too! I was 16 and had gone to the cinema to watch Lord of the Rings. It was really busy so we had to sit in our allocated seats which were pretty much right at the front.
About half way through I was really thirsty so got up to get a drink.
So I'm on the way back to my seat with this enormous bucket of coke and about 5 steps from my row fall arse over tit Coke went everywhere and everybody, and I do mean everybody was laughing at me!!! So I did stand up and take a bow

LittleGoose000 · 12/01/2017 20:31

Must learn to proof read! I meant done not don't!

atheistmantis · 12/01/2017 20:31

At least it wasn't at the opticians.

GrandDesespoir · 12/01/2017 20:37

PopeMortificado that bollard sounds made for the purposes of public mortification.

Or indeed pubic mortification.

YouMeanYouForgotCranberriesToo · 12/01/2017 20:43

DH came hone to find me lying, knocked out, in front of the open freezer, surrounded by a puddle of water and my head covered in peas.

This has made me laught the most so far! Although playing dead on the floor of the bus after falling over is a close second

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