Banged my head on a shop window.

[TheClaws]

It was a classy jewellery shop, too. I bent closer to look at a ring, and banged smashed my head against the glass. All the shop assistants - they were five of them! - and customers turned around to stare. I continued to peer at the rings as if I didn't have a care in the world.

Please let me know you've embarrassed yourselves too in public spaces, and not just me?

Was in Debenhams, just about to go up the moving stairs. There was a collection of mannikins at the bottom. As I approached, one moved. I yelped and fell UP the moving stairs. It was a person impersonating a mannikin. the tricksy bastard. My dp does not believe this story and I am still unsure if it was a marketing campaign by the shop or a member of the public having a laugh.

omg 'shouted up my skirt' I've actually snorted and laughed out loud at this one...

No, no, no, Mumsnet!!!! I need to do some work and I come on here and find this. Well, that's the morning gone

At that point I decided to say "how dare you" and storm out of the meeting on my high horse except I fell over a TINY waste paper bin and ended up flailing face first on my boss's floor.

My version. I was doing a computer course but one of the instructors and myself just didn't get along. We were constantly sniping at one another every lesson until everyone else was sick of us. I'd had enough one day so did an almighty flounce, stood up, shoved my things into my bag and stormed out saying "I'm off and I'm never coming back!". I got to the end of the corridor before I realised I'd left my mobile phone still tethered to the computer to recharge it. So I had to go back in while everyone smirked at me. And off I went again. Only to get as far as the entrance to the building and remember that I'd also left my USB stick, containing all my coursework, still attached to the computer too so back I went yet again.

Worst. Flounce. Ever.

i'd spent my morning lubing up a pregnant lady and her toddler

I once crossed a road that was full of stationary traffic. I didn't realise that, of the two cars I had chosen to walk in between, once was towing the other. I tripped over the tow rope and fell flat on my face, bust my nose on the kerb and grazed all my knees and hands. I've never been able to decide which was worse, the pain or the humiliation.....

I took DH to London last year for his birthday treat and we went to Madame Tussauds because they had a special Star Wars exhibit on and DH is total geek fanboy bit of a fan.
There is a bit when you go in with lots of 'Hollywood' stars and we were waiting ages for someone to finish taking a photograph of one waxwork when we realised that the photographer was also a waxwork! Thats a bit sneaky!
We also inadvertantly ended up stalking a very nice lady round the whole Star Wars set up so that was a bit

I walk into things all the time and I've got used to the embarrassment.
My worst one was when we were walking across a field with very long grass. DH had DD on his shoulders and I was pregnant. We werent sure where the gap was to get to the next field so DH goes off the track to take a look. Only there's a ditch you can't see because of the grass and he goes head over heels with DD. I panic and run towards them. Of course I do exactly the same. Our friends just look at me like I'm crazy and DH is panicked because of the (high risk) pregnancy. I think the words "what did you think would happen" may have been shouted expressed in my direction once DH knew I wasn't hurt.
My most embarrassing one was when we switched cars from one with parking sensors to one without, and I very carefully edged forward into a bollard in the Tesco carpark. There was a man looking at me like I was completely foolish and he'd be right .

When I was about 13, and in the prime of my 'awkward teenage' phase, I walked full on in to a glass window (next to the glass door) in a bank on holiday. I laughed, left the shop, walked about a metre and then promptly burst into floods of tears about how "everyone would be talking about me for the rest of forever". Nobody can "sky is falling" like an awkward teenage girl

Someone walked smack bang in to a Specsavers window in front of me once. No one ever believes me though. I honestly thought I was going to wet myself.

Just remembered another one. I was in the Santa Claus Village in Lapland and was browsing the shopping area. At the time I had an painful wrist so it was wrapped up with a compression bandage.

Anyway, was looking at the hunting knife shop and decided to pull one out of its sheaf to check how sharp it was. It was a bit stuck though so I had to pull really hard, then it came out suddenly and as my hand flew back I overcompensated by moving it forwards quickly...right into the finger of my hand with injured wrist. Because of the compression bandage blood spurted out with force, going all over the knife display and then the floor as I rushed wildly around the shop panicking.

Poor shopworkers had to bandage me up and clean up the blood and then made me sit down for a bit to calm down. A little boy was walking past and he asked me if I had hurt myself so I decided to turn it into a learning opportunity and told him that's why you should never play with knives

Ended up buying the knife of course, felt I couldn't not buy it after stabbing myself with it!

I love these threads!

I've told this story before, but it's a belter.

I was heading to drop DS off at grannies so I could go to the gym, so clad in slippy leggings and gym bag slung across both shoulders. I popped him down to open the car door, he suddenly made a bolt up the drive and I quickly tried to stand up, but when I had bent over, thanks to my shiny clothes my bag had slipped down my body and arse, jack-knifing me in two.

I promptly fell to the side and somehow managed to roll like a woodlouse and tumble through - yes through- the little fence into next door's drive.

My Mum is the queen of these too. She has slid on a full fish wrapped in brown paper past a full comedy bus queue on one foot.

She also needed to pass wind, and thought she was discretely reversing herself into an alleyway between two shops, but misjudged it and farted onto the crotch of a man coming out of the shoe shop.

I still cry laughing when I think about it.

I saw someone slip on the ice this morning - glanced out of the car window to see her skidding along the pavement with flying arms and legs akimbo, and with a huge grin on her face, knowing she looked a right twat

I'm in bits here, these are brilliant! I love the giraffes - have long suspected them of foul deeds.

I have such an array of these over the years, it's hard to know where to start...the worst ones seem to be bike related. I was doing a road cycling event, a proper lycra-wearing long distance cycle thing. I've used the clippy-in cycling shoes for years, and despite being mortally afraid of them at first, I'd got pretty confident. Perhaps a little too confident...It was an all day cycle, so I'd nipped into a field for a wee at one point. What I hadn't realised was that when I got back on my bike, the clay-y mud from the field had set fast in my cleats and welded my shoes to my pedals. Later, I was cycling towards a zebra crossing at school chucking out time, and went to stop. As I got closer to the crossing, I went to unclip my feet, only to realise with mounting horror that they were stuck fast.

As I wobbled towards the horrified children on the crossing I yelled "I'M GOING DOWN! HELP! I'M GOING DOWN!", then in front of their confused wee faces, I ground to a halt and gracefully tipped sideways onto the verge and lay there, twitching and giggling, completely trapped under my bike until some kind passers by helped me chip my feet free.

Then there was the time I was cycle commuting. It was a beautiful summers morning and I was wearing a floaty dress. There was a junction where due to the cycle of the lights, it was quicker to hop off the bike, run it across the pedestrian crossing, then hop back on and sail off. I mistimed it, started to run across, realised there was traffic coming towards me and tried to run back to the pavement. I got tangled up in the bike and went arse over tit into the gutter, floaty dress over my head and knickers on display for all to see. I had to carry on into work and chair a meeting with gutter dirt and chain oil all over me

"I'M GOING DOWN! HELP! I'M GOING DOWN!"

Dying.

Also Ricksheadtilt sliding like a torpedo into the easter eggs with her fanny out might end me.

Years ago, when in the full throes of toddler motherhood, I was shopping alone in Sainsbury's, when I misjudged a corner, had a trolley collision and found myself saying "OOPS, CRASH!!!" to the bemused other party.

Kate "roll like a woodlouse and tumble through - yes through- the little fence into next door's drive" I'm crying.....Nat...hysterical
I was with my DSis and heavily pregnant with DS1. We were going to the Tate Pimlico and then lunch followed by an antinatal appointment at UCH. As we left the Tate I began to tell DSis the plot of the Steve Martin film "blowfinger" where Steve is making a very low budget film in LA. I was reliving the scene where Steve persuades a hapless extra ( Eddie Murphy) to run across a busy 6 lane LA highway whilst being shot at. When Eddie complains about the heavy oncoming commuter traffic Steve says that they are " stunt cars'. At this point I started laughing so much that I wet myself. I was wearing a long skirt and tights and we took the tube to Warren Street, I had to stand so as not to wet the seat or my skirt. I couldn't go for antinatal check ( or lunch) in this state so we went into a Boots where I grabbed tights and the only knickers there which were size 22 weird things. When I went to pay, in front of the crowds of office staff buying meal deals, the cashier thrust the pants aloft and shouted as loudly as possible in the general direction of a supervisor " how much are these incontinence knickers?"........it still burns!!!

If I wasn't already cackling hysterically enough, oldraver's "foot and moth crisis" actually took air from my lungs.

Some of these descriptions are the funniest things I've ever read. I've regularly been clumsy and daft but none as good as these.

But being electrocuted by an electric fence - with my hand simultaneously on the neck of the large horse I was leading - was a low.

Crying here

I can add one more that I'd conveniently forgotten about. When I was 8 months pregnant at the end of summer it was boiling hot in London. I was walking around the house in just a top and pants. Started to cook dinner and threw my apron on which comes nearly to the knees. Completely forgot I didn't have trousers on because looking down I looked dressed! Went outside to water my flower boxes in the front garden, said hello to multiple neighbors, even bent down to pull a few weeds. Wandered back in and plonked downon the leather sofa and the feeling of the cold leather on the backs of my thighs gave me the startling realisation that in fact had no trousers on. I declared we needed to move. There was nothing for it. Sadly, DH, didn't seem to think this warranted moving house. I swear certain neighbors can't look at me without smirking!

Slipsliding you are killing me!

I'm a little bit notorious for this sort of thing, but I think my most infamous moment was walking into the side of a building. Not a window, a glass door, or a lamp post, no - no, that sort of work is for amateurs. A very large, very solid, stone-brick Building.
I was completely sober and it was broad daylight so I can't use that as an excuse. It's hard to miss a multi-story, city block wide, department store... and indeed I didn't miss it at all, but hit it square in my the face.

I said "hello" to my Mum when I saw her upstairs in our Tesco. Was really surprised at the coincidence bumping into her there, same time, massive place. Yep. Mirror.

DH and I were popping into Home Bargains the other day when we realised we didn't have the buggy with us, just the car seat. As it weighs about as much as a thousand suns DH strode off to the shop with a quid in hand to get a trolley to plonk the car seat in. Returns to the car moments later to tell me he'd just walked full stride into a very clean automatic door that he'd apparently crept up on. Now he's 6'5" and not a skint bloke, and remarked that the bang it made he was amazed it never came off the runners! Devastated I missed it, but had the joy of seeing his greasy face print on the glass, not just then, but again today, two days later!!!