To ask what the stupidest thing you've ever done is?

[RentANDBills]

In very pathetic excited about the new whisk I got today and decided to make some pancakes.

In my enthusiasm I forgot the basic laws of physics and plunged said whisk into a full jug of milk and eggs, plastering myself and the kitchen in mix. Seriously, the place was covered.
Contemplating my choices, I cleared it all up.
This wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for the fact that I then immediately did the exact same thing again. I'm now dripping with eggs, milk and shame wondering why people pay me to look after their children when I clearly need full time supervision myself

please tell me your stupidest stories, I suspect I'm the worlds biggest plonker right now

Got changed into my swimming costume in one of those beach huts and then out my clothes on over my costume. Walked most of the way down a busy sea front with my bra attached to my clothes, hanging down somewhere near my bum.

Decided to clear up pores on my nose by being "enthusiastic" with an exfoliating sponge. Had to hode my stupidity by claiming I had hit my nose and grazed it.

Set fire to heat proof glove/mitt I was wearing during a practical lesson at school using Busen burner.

Managed to put it out after -

a. Vigorously shaking hand to extinguish flame. Resulted in terrifying my experiment partner with my flaming gauntlet of doom.

b. Slapping hand on to desk in another attempt to put out fire.

c. Using the sink.

Recovered from the trauma of nearly dying (over dramatic teen) and then promptly did it again. Twit.

When I was younger we use to have a Birdseye level grill & for some reason I always use to look into the grill when lighting it with a match. I a!ways smelt a burning smell & presumed it was the hairs on my arm catching fire. Only realised much later my eyebrows were getting a little singed.

Actual tears of laughter!!

Off on holiday, with our toddler DDs. I had carefully packed a suitcase for me and DH, and another one for DDs. Left them both in our bedroom.

As I was busy strapping DDs into their car seats, DH was dispatched to bring the suitcases down and load them in the boot.

4 hours drive later, we arrive at holiday cottage. Only one suitcase in the boot...'Where is the DDs' suitcase?' I yell ask.

DH replies that, as he didn't recognise the DDs' suitcase (admittedly, it was brand new) he had left it in our bedroom.

'Whose f*cking suitcase did you think it was...???

We went to bed, not speaking..

I put swimming armbands round my ankles and jumped into the pool

Took my first car (Mk2 Escort) into a garage when I was 18 because it was making an alarming hissing noise.

After much investigation the mechanic pissed himself laughing and pulled a can of fizzy drink off the parcel shelf that had expanded in the heat and was about to blow

Omg MNers are LEGENDS.

Light blew in my bedside light when I was a young teen. Went and sorted a bulb. Managed to work out how to get the bulb out. Saw two prongs thought they needed to be pressed in to get the bulb back in.

Boom.

I can only describe the feeling as the sound of hitting a microphone as a feeling inside your head.

What a dick.

Many years ago, 1st day in a new job, meeting my new manager. We were chatting in her office, I couldn't stop nervously fidgeting with my pen and some papers. At some point I somehow got a hold of a stapler. I then promptly stapled it onto my finger.
Bloody painful, bloody bloody, bloody embarrassing.

Oh, also I once spilled coffee on an extension lead where my brand new laptop was plugged in. I jumped to unplug it to save it. Ended up in a&e due to electric shock.

Accidentally threw a full cup of hot chocolate at a security guard at work. For some reason I thought he was a bin.

Absolutely crying with laughter

I once went to walk into Virgin Megastore and apologised to another lady I'd almost walked straight into. Only it wasn't another lady- It was my own reflection. I'd just had my hair dyed blonde and I didn't recognise myself

This is dp's.

He had been out manning the safety boat at a swim event in the sea. I was on the beach with the kids. He got his phone and wallet out of the drybag and handed them to his mate, then swung his leg over the boat to get in the water, kicking his phone out of his mates hand and they watched wordlessly as it sailed through the air and into the sea.

We found it but it was beyond repair.

I once rang the airport to enquire if a passport was needed to fly to Ireland. The lady was polite and said she would have to check. I stood holding the phone and listening to a debate about whether travel to Ireland needed a passport or not. It went on and on, with quite a few people involved. My family were sat looking at me, waiting for the answer. I was a little curt, if I recall, interrupting the chat to ask, excuse me I am still waiting! For the lady to apologise and reply, well I think....., Gladys thinks..... And well George he isn't at all sure. I had rang the wrong number! My family were in hysterics

onecrazycook stifling laughter trying not to wake whole household up! That is so funny!!!

MaQueen, I think yours is my favourite so far. What was he actually thinking about the mysterious second suitcase? Better not bring that I've never seen it before.

And what did you do about clothes for the DDs?

Help

A couple of years back my brother and I, along with our kids were going to do a back road 4wd track in his truck, anyway my brother pulled the pin but said I would be fine doing it in my 2wd (a bloody ford fiesta) as he previously done the route before.

Never ever again, it was an absolute nightmare and in hindsight I should have stopped at the first big hole, there is a reason why it was 4wd track only. To cut a long story short we got stuck but somehow I managed to get out, when we got back to my brother's house, my other brother (a mechanic) said what an utter idiot I was as I could have totally wrecked my car.

What was he actually thinking about the mysterious second suitcase? Better not bring that I've never seen it before

My dh does this all the time! I pack and leave extras at the side of the bag or by front door - have done this for years dh still leaves them - zips up bag and packs. I have to now physically show him make sure he has clocked it.

Love this thread will it be moved to classics????

Laughing at so many including stapler how embarrassing.

I was fascinated by my brothers electric pencil sharpener and put my finger in it - and shaved it - painful and shocking but to be expected and no one saw

At the tender age of 16, I tried to carry 2 buckets on the handles of my moped... promptly met the back of a Citroen less than a mile after starting out.

I got half way down a ladder once and inexplicably thought I was all the way down, stepped out backwards and crashed down to the concrete floor...

Spring cleaning one day I lifted all the vertical blinds in the lounge. Did some dusting and thought to myself that the strings on them were far too long ago I cut them right down.
I was more than a little surely surprised when I came to lower them again.

I once watched my mother toss a £1 coin into a charity collectors cup of tea. She's said 'never mind it will be a nice surprise when you get to the bottom'.

Took her sofa shopping with me last week, showed her the one I liked, which included a 'cuddle chair'. The salesman told her to try it so she launched herself at the chair with gusto, only she hadn't realised it also spun.
Most of sofology stopped to watch my 80 year old mother squeal loudly as she whizzed around.

I could write a book on her honestly.

Phoned Nationwide about an account I had with Halifax

In my mind they are the same bank