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[DeadAsADildo]

(Inspired by another thread-posts may be entirely fictional)

My 10y old has never had a fizzy drink in his entire life.

GP seemed to think I was over reacting and said DS would 'probably' be alright .

I've been Marie Kondoing my home this weekend.

Having got rid of everything that doesn't bring me joy, I'm down to a spiralizer and a mooncup.

DH is having to sleep at work and the DC are camping out in the yurt for the foreseeable future.

I chose a simple timeless name for my ds. Now I've heard that my cousin in Australia (whose parents emigrated before I was born, so I've never met her) has chosen the same name for her son. My parents have been saving for several years for a holiday of a lifetime to go and visit my aunt and uncle (dm's sister, who she still misses terribly) this year. AIBU to insist that they cancel their holiday as they will almost certainly be introduced to the baby who shares their dgs's name. I feel like if they were in any way supportive of me they'd understand how hurt I am that someone I don't know has used my child's name.

I simply can't understand the fuss about taking children out of school for holidays. Why would a family ever need to do such a thing? Are they low income or something? If so, why on earth do they expect to have a holiday, it's a privilege not a right. And if they're low income they're bound to choose somewhere ghastly to go where there isn't a spa/yurt/authentic street food stall.

The problem with term-time holidays is that some parents insist that their sojourn in Ibiza is somehow educational. As if staying in a resort populated by their lobster-coloured compatriots could possibly provide even a smidgen of insight into the local culture.

Of course our holidays are different because we speak five different languages at home. One with each parent, one with each nanny and an extra one (Mandarin) which we've all taught ourselves together. DD (5) recently got an A* in her A-level Spanish and DS has just passed his GCSE at the tender age of 3.

We are walking the Santiago de Compostela pilgrimage with them this year. They are far too advanced to just build sandcastles, and we have already covered the geology of the coast. Of course many children are so obese they can barely shuffle from their front door to the car, but a long-distance walk will be immensely exciting for our two. They regularly go on 20-mile walks at the weekend and take great pleasure in learning about the natural and social history of our surroundings. They will also be responsible for sourcing and cooking all our organic vegan food during the walk.

Well, we don't ever go for a week's holiday in Ibiza. Every year's week in Ibiza that we don't go on entirely funds private school fees for our three children. We're not rich: we just make that sacrifice.

I'm so crunchy that I hand stiched organic hemp flakes into all my undergarments to make myself an onomatopoeia.

I just laughed so much my moon cup fell out.

Someone just tried to mug me...I told him "no" was a complete sentence.

Chunkymum1 finally someone that understands. I knew I wasn't BU. We've actuly chartered a dreamliner; it's overcapacity but first class is reserved for the bridal party and the remainder of the seats have been divided at our discretion.

I think another chance to regroup before the celebrations would be great so I've booked a retreat over looking the Ganges so we can rebalance our chakras with some ashanga meditation. Obviously children won't be coming again. Childcare shouldn't really stop anyone who is a true friend. I know when I have children they will just have fit in around me. Or one of the nannies.

I can't believe I've been so silly with the dresses. You're absolutely right, I cannot risk satin or chiffon. I will choose, I think a minimum budget of £500 is fair or else they will just look high street.

Just one last thing, we are flying chefs in to cater. Two friends are vegetarians and won't eat proper food. I'm not unreasonable to expect them to cater for their own faddy diets am I?

I live in France.

I started a thread called www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2638612-What-to-do-with-excess-houmous
(I didn't, I just thought it was the most fantastically MN thread title. Hats off to wonky legs)

Aibu to go NC with MIL ? She is constantly trying to get the PFB for a sleepover/playdate/visit but I have refused because I just don't feel ready. after all, PFB has only just turned 14 and I can't believe the old witch is trying to force her way into his affections. she is so manipulative, even poisoned dh against me

The problem with term-time holidays ...

A perennial worry, I agree. So concerned was I about the appalling educational effects of this aberration on my son that I decided on enhanced attendance lest he miss even a second of his schooling

Disappointed in the outcome after delivering him to school en route from the maternity unit, I later insisted he should remain in school during all holidays. The headteacher was difficult about this at first, clearly failing to realize this was an exceptional case, but happily she later came round and sanctioned my further request that he be stored in the resources cupboard overnight in order to ingest further opportunities

I wonder how old he is now ...??

Can't say I've RTFT, but really thought I must post to make sure someone's reminded the OP that she can just cancel the cheque.

Tomorrow I am picking up our rescue dog! So excited. Here is how we have prepared so far.

1. DH and I have both given up work - so that we will always be home with Ddog.
2. We have turned the DC bedroom into a large crate and put the DC to sleep in the garden.
3. We have engaged a dog sitter to cover any minutes when one of us might not be fully available.
4. We have gone no contact with all friends and relations who have uttered the words 'dominance' or 'pack theory' in the last five years.

Anything else that we should be doing?

I'm going to give myself my first ever for this post I am posting.

Saffron I'm a bit concerned...you haven't mentioned from what forest you will be sourcing the dog's food? You really shouldn't adopt if you can't afford to feed them a raw natural diet. I personally slaughter a deer with my bare hands every few days and give my darling pup the organs sprinkled with flax seed and ground organic free range eggshell for calcium.

When my DS was born I told family they weren't to visit for 12 months - I didn't want anything interfering with bonding, and how could I be sure they would adequately disinfect themselves? After that the Grandparents were permitted to view him through a window once a week. I told them "my baby, my choice", but they have accused me of being unreasonable and controlling!!! I'm absolutely fuming !! WIBU to go NC?

saffron your original post conveniently leaves out several vital details. For example you don't specify how whether your dog has refugee status, how often you change your sheets or how your DP washes his member after lovemaking? Don't bother responding to this post since I detest drip feeding.

Frankly, saffron, I'm disappointed; you've said nothing at all about soundproofing your "cage room" and a small whimper carries a long way, you know

Luckily there are some very good, eco friendly insulation materials now ...

OK I was right. saffron obviously only wanted responses that validated her and has now disappeared from the thread. I invested seconds of my life into her problem and she owes me updates at thirty second intervals until she confirms that I know far more about her life than she does and that she follows my advice to the letter, even if I tell her that the dog and the DH are clearly having an emotional affair and she needs to move into the nearest spa pronto.

It's been a nanosecond since Saffron posted. She obviously isn't coming back.