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[DeadAsADildo]

(Inspired by another thread-posts may be entirely fictional)

My 10y old has never had a fizzy drink in his entire life.

My husband doesn't actually realise half the population is female. He only ever looks at me. He was a virgin when we met and practises yogic breathing when he gets cut up at a roundabout.

Oh yours isn't like this? I couldn't live like that.

I allowed my 3 year old to go to a party of a less well off child as I thought it would do him some good to see how the less fortunate live. I practically died when he asked where the quinoa was. So embarrassed. But at least his etiquette lessons kicked in when asked if he'd like a sausage roll. 'That's terribly kind of you but I'm absolutely stuffed from the delicious cheese sandwiches!' Poor love, I had to toss him a quick salad when we got home. Can't have him fainting at rugger again.

I gave up work so DH and I could move within catchment of one of the last remaining grammar schools. Of course we bought a house in the best area then rented in catchment until Jacintha got a place. I've then worked from home for the last 3 years, on a volunteer basis, on getting the local council to close down the nearby Mcdonalds and Greggs. You now can't buy any form of fast food within 11 miles of here - I know, it said so in the death threat.

Friend A offered me instant coffee
Friend B doesn't wash all her towels and bedding daily
Friend C didn't have a basket of all varieties of San pro in her guest bathroom

I have gone NC will them all.

Is fast food the same thing as junk food? We always cook from scratch so I get confused when people use these terms

I grow all my own vegetables and raise my own livestock and slaughter by hand in the garden. I don't believe you've truly cooked from scratch unless you've done that.

I also grow all my own rice in a paddyfield at our allotment.

I think fast food is the same as junk food Dead but I'm not 100% sure, the nice lady in my local artisanal deli had to explain it all to me while I was buying DH's gluten-rehabilitated raw avocado gnocchi.

practises yogic breathing when he gets cut up at a roundabout.

My husband does this too, but he cycles rather than drives to work. He really cares about the planet. It's totally cool that yours doesn't though.

OohMavis - that one took my breath away.

LaContessa - how do you mean livestock? Surely everyone is vegan these days?

practises yogic breathing when he gets cut up at a roundabout.

We like to practice tantric sex in traffic on our up cycled tandem.

There's nothing like it to deepen your spiritual connection.

Of course, it's not for everyone, some people find it hard to achieve the correct level of concentration.

What is greggs?

I got 75 meals out of my standard sized chicken.

Ocado phone me to see what Christmas delivery slots I want before they go online.

My 12 year old has never been out of my sight. I walk him to school, holding his hand the entire time, and I sit in the corner of the classroom and discuss his progress with the teacher on an hourly basis. It's all very fashionable on mumsnet to say that you believe in letting them have a little freedom because it is good for them, but it's just an excuse to make yourself feel better for your lazy parenting.

We used to enjoy tantric sex but we no longer copulate, we have Jacintha so any more children would interrupt my hot housing schedule with her and hold back her socialisation schedule. I use a kind of deep meditation to bring myself to orgasm, I'm unsure what DH does but it's not while he's in the house.

Peggy

Greggs (anyone correct me if I'm wrong-never actually seen one ) sells those things made with puff pastry and sausage meat. The word escapes me...

Only 75 daisy? You're obviously not trying very hard!

Allthedrama

I am FMFF

Meant daisies. My hamster corrected me on that.

loving this thread

cliff. It was a Mongolian rare breed chicken fed exclusively on the tears of unicorns so despite only getting 75 meals out of it at least they were healthy.