Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Having my ears hoovered out tomorrow and I'm SO excited

316 replies

YvaineStormhold · 13/04/2016 19:28

How tragic are the middle years...

Can't bloody wait though.

OP posts:
yumyumpoppycat · 14/04/2016 21:40

Grin all about the timing

RandomMess · 14/04/2016 21:40

Wow

DD aged 8 produced an awesome cone plug out of one of ears, they even had to use oil to lubricate to get the sucky thing to get it out.

Brought it home to show DH Smile

YabuDabbaDoo · 14/04/2016 21:41

Finish us off OP. Finish us NOW.

yumyumpoppycat · 14/04/2016 21:41

cant believe how many people want to take ear wax home!

SoddingPufflers · 14/04/2016 21:42

I don't think I have ever been so jealous! You can stuff your baby born in the Portland nonsense.

Chocolateteabag · 14/04/2016 21:42

ooh OP !! f5 f5 f5 f5

YvaineStormhold · 14/04/2016 21:43

Yes, I'd done oiling for weeks beforehand. Weeks and weeks.

So...he came back into the room with a little bath thing for me to hold under my ear, and a towel to put over my shoulder.

To be honest, I was starting to have visions of James Herriot up to his elbow in a cow, so it was a great relief that the chap didn't have his sleeve rolled up.

He did, however, have a large bottle of water with a trigger and a nozzle.

He shoved the nozzle down my ear and started to pump. And pump. And pump. And pump. Warm water hit something I can only describe as an aural g-spot - you know that itch that you're trying to reach when you shove your little finger down your earhole? He hit it. Effortlessly.

After a few seconds I was fully expecting water to start leaking out of my nose, but it didn't. He just kept on pumping. He was a big fellow, and he wasn't holding back.

"That's coming out a funny colour," he remarked, and went off to empty the bath thing, then came back and started again with the pumping.

The bath filled again, he emptied it again, then had to go back to the boiler to refill his bottle with warm water...

OP posts:
Salfordlass · 14/04/2016 21:44

Has she gone to wet her whistle? Where's she gone? Where? WHERE!!??

YabuDabbaDoo · 14/04/2016 21:44

OMG he filled. You. UP.

Salfordlass · 14/04/2016 21:44

Oh thank god ur back

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 14/04/2016 21:44

Oh dear god. I'm place marking on an ear wax thread

Chocolateteabag · 14/04/2016 21:45

I now have the All Creatures Great and Small theme tune playing in my head

Now then Vitnery

This thread is brilliant Grin

ScarletForYa · 14/04/2016 21:46
yumyumpoppycat · 14/04/2016 21:46

I am imagining the ear wax technician would be horrified by this thread

SugarMiceInTheRain · 14/04/2016 21:46

I love the strange combination of fascination, horror and almost envy when I read these sorts of threads. Really want to know what happened!!

Lalaloopsyscaresme · 14/04/2016 21:47

OP the KLAXON really ought to have been sounded, for shame shamelessly placemarking

YvaineStormhold · 14/04/2016 21:48

I dunno, YumYum, I think he'd like it...he seemed to take some pleasure in his work.

OP posts:
yumyumpoppycat · 14/04/2016 21:48

Grin did he have a beaker for the nozzle?

guinnessgirl · 14/04/2016 21:49

Not usually the sporner type, but this is riveting! On tenterhooks!

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 14/04/2016 21:49

This is amazing.

YabuDabbaDoo · 14/04/2016 21:49

He took it away

Make him bring it back

yumyumpoppycat · 14/04/2016 21:51

Think how satisfying it is used to be when you got a proper glob of ear wax....maybe he has the most satisfying job in the world?

Cabawill · 14/04/2016 21:51

I heard the KLAXON and here I am. Stop teasing us OP!

amysmummy12345 · 14/04/2016 21:51

I'm tittering like a school girl here! "he was a big fellow. Didn't hold back" hahaha!!!!

Salfordlass · 14/04/2016 21:51

What a guy...
Wish I'd married an ent doctor, I'd be begging to hear about his day!