That thing where you think you're being polite but really it's just a bit mad

[Nabootique]

I am in the office just thinking about going to the canteen to get breakfast. I can't order what I want as the very nice young man who works the counter prides himself on getting my "usual" on the go as soon as he sees me approach the door. As a result, I have the same thing every day and don't have the heart to tell him I'd like to order something different.

I feel like this mad level of politeness is probably very common. Any funny stories?

Re being called the wrong name! one of my friends always gets my name wrong, even though I've stopped correcting him my DP always pipes up if he hears anyone get my name wrong. It saves me the embarrassment of correcting people all the time. Now if I hear someone get a name wrong I correct them for the person tinkly laugh

In the town where I used to live there was a woman I'd bump into occassionally - think maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Each time she'd greet me like a old friend come over for a chat, tell me how her family was doing.

I had no idea who she was. Pretty sure I never known her and she'd got me mixed up with somebody else. Too chicken to ask her name or names of her husband/kids. Too chicken to ask how/why she (thought she) knew me. This went on for 5 years.

The name on my British Gas account has been wrong for 20 years because when I called to open my account at the property they asked for my name and while I was thinking whether to give surname or firstname first I said "Em" and they put that down as my initial, so The account is in the name of Mrs "M" (not my initial) Bloggs. I felt too stupid to correct them when the first bill arrived. DH moved in five years later and still doesn't understand why the gas bills are addressed that way..

We went away for a weekend with DH's family last year. Lots of discussion between me and SIL to plan menus, working out who was going to cook what, when - then I did the online shop. She cooked a lovely vegetarian lasagne the first night; I did chicken the second night. Bacon sandwiches for breakfast, yum yum.
A month later, MiL casually mentioned that SIL and BiL were vegetarians and had been for 6 months. Apparently it has felt too awkward to say so, far better to just eat the meat.

When I was at school there were awards for each department e.g. Math Scholar, Music Scholar, Drama Scholar, etc. and I was receiving one of the awards. All of the winners were having a meeting with one of my old teachers, lets call her Mrs. A. She called me the wrong name and I corrected her, but then kept calling me the wrong thing. Finally there was a big awards ceremony dinner at the end of the year with some of the teachers, a select few students and their parents. Mrs. A. got up to talk about the Scholars and she said the wrong name, my parents kept asking me why she was calling me the wrong name. My mom is very outgoing and I was thanking my lucky stars she didn't yell across the room and correct her.

As soon as the person behind the counter knows what my regular order is I feel really weird, like I've lost control
And the scenario in the op does sound like a passive aggressive control thing to me
The person behind the counter is in control of what the op eats, take back your power op!

MIL knows our DD by the wrong name (similar but a completely different name). DP hasn't the heart to tell her she's been using the wrong name for 9 months. She's in her 80s and not in good health so we have decided she never needs to know the truth

SIL and BiL were vegetarians and had been for 6 months. Apparently it has felt too awkward to say so, far better to just eat the meat

Its a very half hearted / uncommitted vegetarian who eats meat to be polite!

Suzanne I did I posted an update a couple of pages back when I saw him at lunch.

To a real vegetarian meat is a non food substance, you'd no more eat it than you would eat paper

You're a Naboo

I am off work today, but tomorrow I will be having the full English!! Yes, yes I will!

I spent all day yesterday calling my friend's husband Dave - that's not his name and no-one corrected me. It slowly dawned on me as I drove home.

Every year a family member gives me a beautiful Christmas cake. They're big bastards. Only no one in my house likes it but we all stand around and marvel about how beautiful it is and how we can't wait to try some. Luckily I have lots of friends who love to receive a Christmas cake so it never goes uneaten.

Only it now occurs to me, what if my friends are just being polite!!?? What if no one likes actually likes Christmas cake and the cake just go round and round until someone feed it to the birds?

My DS's scout leader is deaf in one ear and he heard my name wrong the first time so now calls me Shona, my name couldn't be further from that but I let it slide. I still fill out my real name for all insurance and h&s forms, he still calls me Shona...

My butcher thinks my name is Nicky, again that's not even close, he calls my sister, Nicky's little sis, she's my older sister.

My name is Charlotte btw, it's fairly hard to get wrong. I think I must just mumble.

Another one, I was fostered by a family in my teens, the Mum of the house would go out every Saturday and buy everyone a McDonalds Egg mcmuffin thing, they taste grim but I was too polite to say so, I ate a few bites then stuck it in the bin on the way to work that morning, I got one every week for the next year.
I started giving them to a homeless man who was sat near my work, I never told her I didn't like them, I moved out (not because of that obviously) and it wasn't a problem anymore.

What a brilliant thread! I'll have a proper read through later, but this sort of thing is always happening to me.

When I was growing up, my parents had a friend who always pronounced my name wrong. My name is well known, and only has one pronunciation (think pronouncing Emily Emi-lye, and you'll get the idea). Despite this, I had to endure nearly 20 years of this, much to the amusement of my family. Couldn't ever bring myself to correct her.

More recently, I FINALLY plucked up the courage to ask a neighbour what her name was, after 2 1/2 years of saying hello. I had to pretend that I did know, but had forgotten (I think she knew though )

After I left university I spent a year doing various jobs to pay off my enormous overdraft.

Weekends I worked in a bar in the city and stayed at my brother's house. His housemate had an American female friend who'd also stay over when she visited the UK.

The bar owner used to pay for me to get a taxi and one night the taxi driver recognised the address and "recognised" me as the American. Asked & I said "Yes". It was partly that he seemed so pleased to recognise "me" and remembered "my" name but I think was also wishful thinking on my part to not be the working in 3 shite jobs financial disaster but this glam jet-setting successful business woman.

He picked me up at least 6 times and I faked an awful American accent.

Well Suzanne, been a veggie for over thirty years and have never eaten meat (indeed could happily eat paper) apart from the very rare and bloody steak that was swallowed without chewing chunk by chunk. Had been served it by a very high maintenance host whose family was terrified I would refuse to eat so down it went!

Want into a shop with my dd, who was about 6 months old at the time, sitting in her pram. She was wearing a navy cardigan over a pretty flowery dress. Get to the till and the assistant comments on how cute HE is and asks how old HE is. I answer politely,letting my child's sudden sex change go since she had really short hair and with the navy cardigan did look a bit like a boy. Then she asked what HE was called and to save any embarrisment I told her the name we would have used had we had a boy instead of her actual name.

Everytime we go in now she gives me a very strange look for calling my now 2 year old,unmistakably female, daughter David.

Monster claws I sincerely meant no offense, but really I think I just wouldn't eat it...I'm a lifelong vegetarian

I've been in my job since August. A couple of days after joining, I retweeted some tweets from my new organisation from my personal-but-only-used-for-work Twitter account (I use it to tweet about issues related to my profession, but as myself).

In an earlier Tweet I'd mentioned my partner's profession, as it's related to mine and was relevant to the discussion I was having. My colleague who monitors the Twitter account saw my previous tweet, and when I got in the next morning said 'so you're dating a [name of profession], that's handy!' So I said yes, I was, and no, we aren't married, and yes, we've been together a while, and yes, it's handy for work.

Next thing I know, colleague is telling everyone about 'LittleA's boyfriend' who is this handy professional.

My partner is female. I was brand new in the organisation and I'm quite private and didn't really want to go round to everyone and tell them my partner is female as my first introduction. So I smiled and nodded and said 'my partner is indeed a X'.

It's now been going on for about 9 months and it's gone on far too long now and is way too entrenched for me to pipe up and say 'oh actually, I don't have a boyfriend, my partner is a woman.'

One day soon though I'm going to be asked for a name, or to invite 'him' into work for 'his' handy expertise and it's going to be a whole world of awkward.

I ate meat once because I was too polite to tell my hostess I was veggie. I had a brief internal moral tussle with myself then quickly decided that not hurting my friend’s feelings was the most important thing to me at that moment (she would have been mortified if she’d realised and it was a Big Deal night for her – first time I met her BF). I did make a big ‘thing’ of telling her I’d “decided to go veggie” before I next ate at her house though.

Well I'd been veggie for over twenty years when I ate the chilli upthread. I had to pretend to myself out was quorn...

Another thing I always do is tell hairdresser the water temp is fine when they ask when it is, in fact, melting my scalp...

Why?!

too polite to tell my hostess I was veggie. I had a brief internal moral tussle
I suppose that is the crux of the matter, for me it's not a moral issue more that I would feel contaminated if I ate meat