to think these are words you never need to hear from a Midwife ? (only slightly lighthearted)

[CheshireDing]

Midwife said told "I can definitely feel a big head".

I am nearly 35 weeks and disturbed is not the word. DC2 had a big head, so what the hell size is this one's ??!!

Seriously practising my hypno now so get DC3 out shortly

Anyone looking for a Nc, can I suggest Fuckoffyoulazyarsedracistwomenhatingbastards?
Yeah DrK, thanks for that bit of Drsplaining.

I had witnesses at mine, for the information of the good doctor quoted up thread.

Anyway. Daily mail article cut and paste is unbelievably pathetic.

I thought I would start to write on social media because some of the things I read seem unnecessarily frightening, and not completely accurate, so I genuinely thought I might be able to answer certain questions people might have and reassure them.

That's great DrKM. Though I doubt labelling peoples experiences "apocryphal" was the way to start reassuring people.

So it's not just the HCPs you meet in labour who decide to disbelieve women. Always nice to know.

The stand out theme from this thread is the bravery and stoicism of women coping with being belittled, ignored and left to cope with the consequences of the way they have been treated, both physical and psychological. The other stand out theme how raw and compelling the stories are so can be used as click bait.

Bloody hell, how rude, just copying to page fill in the Daily Mail

That is possibly more shocking than the messily stitched fanjos

CheshireDing right!! I'm glad this thread has made it to classics because it's great, but it does seem to be where the DM cast their net for stories. Bunch of fucking chancers.

Women are often treated badly in general by maternity services. After all, it's not just the stuff you read here and similar from many others, but stuff like allowing Bounty access to new mothers, etc. It all adds up to treating women with contempt.

After all, which other hospital section would treat patients like this? Surgery? Oncology? No, they treat patients with respect in the vast majority of cases in other areas.

Raspberry- that's a very good point, I never thought of that before. Bounty coming round is so wrong, you really can't imagine that sort of thing happening in any other area of the hospital.
The bounty woman came to me less than 24 hours after a crash c section while I was still bed bound!

Times now running the story.

Oh bloody hell I've been quoted. Ugh. Lazy flippin journalists.

My sister had an episiotomy without any warning or anesthetic. Basically she was butchered against her consent. I mentioned it to my midwife as I'd put in my birth plan I wanted to consent and get pain relief if I needed one. She was most skeptical it had happened but it's the overriding memory my sister has of the birth. Is that apocryphal just because it's against any sensible guidelines? Or possibly even criminal i.e. assault?

Poor babies.

Not quite the same as the rest of your horror stories but...

Had a c section 2nd time around and about 2 minutes after being handed my baby, before of even been sewn back together. the midwife said 'oh well you'll just have to come back to get a girl.' We didn't know the sex and really didn't mind but I was a bit upset that I was supposed to feel disappointed with my brand new baby.

Went in be assessed as I'd been contracting continuously for 3 hours. Snotty MW looked at me and said your not in labour, go home.
I put my foot down and demanded to be examined but not by her. I was 6cm to which the first MW tutted.
I delivered DD a little over an hour later.
After deliver the student MW said I had a bit of a graze, my mum poked her head round and said "I'd hate to think what you'd call a tear".
I had split front to back!

When I rang the MLU to suggest it might be time I go in.
Midwife - to her colleague as she was passed the phone - 'blimey everyone is having their babies tonight'.
Certainly felt like it when I got there and someone was delivering in the assessment suite while me and another woman lent against the wall outside.

To throw in my two pennies worth for DrKarenMorton Mon 28-Mar-16 14:38:25, every single word I put in quotation marks I remember with crystal clear clarity. None of what happened was easy to forget but if I couldn't remember it precisely, it isn't in quotes. Your attitude of disbelief just proves what many of the women in this thread who the medical profession ignored already knew.
I could have rolled out the mw who dismissively swore DS was breast feeding just fine or the Consultant who was stone cold certain I'd pulled my IUD out but those weren't relevant to this thread.

My sister-in-law had just given birth and been stitched up when the midwife came in, had a look and said 'You seem to have a bit of an extra flap down there now, but there's not much we can do about it unless you want to be re-stitched' !

Sis-in-law still has 'a bit of an extra flap' Her partner says he'll be able to identify her if she is in an accident and they can't see her face!!!

At a planned home birth, 10cm dilated she said, that's the baby's bum I can feel on it's way out not his head. Then to the other midwife "call an ambulance just incase".

'Extra large gloves please' right before a sweep. I was terrified. little did I know, this was the least of it...I honestly thought that labour/childbirth wasn't as bad as anyone made out (afterall, who would chose to go through it again after the first time if it was horrendous...ha de fucking ha) until I went through it...twice

When examining with a speculum, picks up a small one, looks at my fanjo and says "no this won't do" then grabs a medium alright love no need to point it out, I have had 2 kids!

With DC1 everyone said the whole pg "that baby is definitely over 10lb"... It was 7lb 4oz with a lake's worth of waters

Me: How many stitches did I need? MW: Ermmm.... 12 sorry!

And then my absolute favourite makes me rage DP rang the ward when I was in labour to say I was on my way and got told "well there's no beds so can you wait til she's further along" (she could hear me screaming in the background after doing the whole labour with no pain relief and thought I was exaggerating!!), I grab the phone and literally scream "Im pushing now!!". Nearly gave birth in the corridor, they found a bed!

With DD3 I had an elcs. Despite having dealt with what seemed like a traumatic emcs just before (I glimpsed the mum as I was waiting), they were full of the banter. One stumbled over his feet and chortled, 'that'll be the drink then!!' and they were all singing along to the radio, slagging each other off and joking about with me and DH.
They took ages to put in my catheter though and it was unsettling to see the (male) nurse look at my half shaven bits for so long before finally saying 'ah, liquid gold' when it was sorted.

Had a couple of good ones with ds. Got seen for 38 week appointment, was going to be induced due to unexplained fluid loss and growth issues. Got checked "to see if I was favourable for induction" regular contractions started 20 minutes later. I got told this was normal and as there was no room on the ward that night and would be induced the following night. Off I toddle waddle this was about 5 o'clock. I phone them up at midnight/1ish with contractions less than two minutes apart. Mw says to come in, she asks me where I live. Me 30 miles away. Mw reaction was "oh shit"
Hooked up to machines and wires in labour suite and student mw is leaning over to check whatever bit of equipment and noticed that my face was screwed up in pain, she's frantically checking I'm ok and asking if the contractions are too much, do I need more pain relief until I squeaked out that her boobs were squashing my cannula into my hand.

I had the same as many previous with two lovely MW (neither of whom were at the birth after a shift change) having a very detailed discussion (complete with finger pointing) about which flap to sew back where when repairing the damage that DD2s razor nails had caused on the way out! Luckily I was flying on the G&A and ended up discussing sewing skills with them (telling them I was a craft sewer!)The hazy memory of this still has me in fits of laughter even now, years later!

I was induced with 1st DD due to pre-eclampsia. I'd swelled up all over especially my face, I was on a drip and had an epidural in, was 3rd day on delivery unit and DH comes into the room after going for food and introduced to me to his significant ex (the one he'd always talked about as being the love of his life until me and kept photos of) who was tall, beautiful and slim and only one of the bloody midwives. He was completely bewildered why I started screaming and trying to punch him when she left...............