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Original poster

What's your best sporn story?

337 replies

Ouchbloodyouch · 10/02/2015 23:34

How excited do you get when you see KLAXON? Sometimes you get a few in a week.. sometimes there is a drought! So in order to keep us sporners truly satisfied can we do our ultimate ultimate sporn stories? I've just shared my blackhead story on another thread (TAAT guilt) but this is my best..if it looks familiar its because I have posted it under a different name.
Many years ago I became aware of a very sharp pain on my left side. Between the hip and the buttock. Upon examination there wasn't much to be seen other than something that looked like a teeny pimple. I pierced the top with a sterile needle and nothing happened. Owing to the position of the 'pimple' I had to grab my flesh to bring it to a better viewing position.. well.. as I did that the pressure I applied caused a jet of pus to spew three feet across the room. In an arc! I've never seen the like. After evacuating the pimple I took a hot bath and tried again. Lo and behold it happened again to a lesser extent.
That was it. The best half hour of my life. I've never had anything like it since.
Over to you. .

OP posts:
HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 12/02/2015 12:10

She's almost ours. She lasted the whole thread and is displaying curiosity.

DonttouchthatLarry · 12/02/2015 12:22

where have you people been all my life? Grin

I love a good squeeze on myself or DH but for really good sporn, horses are the best! One of ours came in one night with an abcess the size of a golf ball on the flat side of his cheek - it was so hot you could feel the heat off it from about 6 inches away. NO way was he going to let anyone near it, so the vet had to sedate him before she took the scalpel to it - it was an amazing pus fountain, must have filled his entire head Grin.

Another one had an abcess in his foot a couple of weeks ago. The farrier took his shoe off and started poking about, when suddenly a stream of pus burst out of the nail hole in the side of his hoof, all over the farrier's apron. That was a good one Wink

The cat doesn't get left out either - he got bitten on his back by another cat and it got infected. DH was having to squeeze it out every day and bathe it - bless him, the cat only vaguely tried to bite him, I thought he was going to savage him! Oh how we looked forward to the daily cat squeezing sessions Smile

DonttouchthatLarry · 12/02/2015 12:24

oh, and pussy foot horse also had an abcess on his face that was really nasty and gunky and wouldn't clear up even after 2 courses of antibiotics. Ended up having surgery to remove a bone chip and was in horsepital for a week having this drained and cleaned daily.

What's your best sporn story?
Original poster
Ouchbloodyouch · 12/02/2015 12:26

Spot porn = sporn

OP posts:
SheWhoDaresGins · 12/02/2015 12:55

Oh yes soap worms out of piercings are great fun. I had a sore ear once and my ear lobe was red and swollen turns out there was a spot inside my piercing as I put my earring in it burst and lots of lovely green pus came out. This led me to squeeze all my old piercings and remove all the soap worms. Best half an hour in ages!

VixxFace · 12/02/2015 13:02

Animal sporn is going to far Shock

NuggetofPurestGreen · 12/02/2015 13:07

I had a biopsy on my boob to check that a sebaceous cyst wasn't anything more serious. All fine except the biopsy site got infected. It was incredibly painful and red and swollen BUT one day I touched the little 'pimple' over the incision point and a veritable fountain of pus came out. Literally POURED out. Like a cup ful. It was amazing.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 12/02/2015 13:08

Luckily I was in the bathroom and it went in the sink.

HellKitty · 12/02/2015 13:08

I have an ingrowing hair in my Fanjo! Result!!!

PlumpingUpPartridge · 12/02/2015 13:16

hellkitty Grin I grow wistful for the upper leg boils I now realise I used to grow. I just thought they were mozzie bites. Sigh.

PlumpingUpPartridge · 12/02/2015 13:17

Fucking hell Frank, I've just seen it Shock

HellKitty · 12/02/2015 13:21

Plumping, mozzie bites are the gift that keep on giving, they're sooo deep >sigh< Grin

BankWadger · 12/02/2015 15:10

I saw this thread in active on Tuesday, but I left it until today (like a pushy lump) and I have had a blissful afternoon reading and reminiscing.

I've never had anything amazing erupt out of me, but I did have an ear that kept giving in my late teens until one day I got in under the cartilage bit the joins to the head and felt/heard a satisfying pop followed by lots of lovely pus. I did a thorough job that day though and it healed up for good.

elQuintoConyo · 12/02/2015 15:13

"We are not worthy! We are not worthy!"

APotNoodleandaTommy · 12/02/2015 15:38

she's almost ours Grin
No not quite!!!
I can't definitely understand the joy of the squeeze and release of one's own pus-filled lumpoid, but not another person's

NuggetofPurestGreen · 12/02/2015 15:41

Frankel your story sounds very similar to mine!

OwlBeGoing · 12/02/2015 15:51

Horsepital Grin

Iamcuriouslyskanky · 12/02/2015 16:30

I have hidradenitis suppuritiva - think boils in armpits and fanny - a sporners dream! I don't get it like I used to since I'm post menopausal but oh my the massive pus filled lumps.. Lucky for me my DH is quite sporny as well and used to operate on me to relieve the pressure, and thick rivers of browny yellowy blood streaked filth used to pour forth, stinking of rot and cheese. I do still occasionally get one - next time I'll be sure to share.

Blackheads is my absolute favourite though, particularly the wiggly worm ones.

Original poster
Ouchbloodyouch · 12/02/2015 17:36

Classics? Wow of all my wonderful witty and thought provoking threads not who would have thought sporn? Your sporn stories are amazing. I salute you all.

OP posts:
Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 12/02/2015 19:12

Finally! Classics, you must be proud. Flowers
One of my earliest sporny memories was when I was about 8. The boy in front of me was a right boily bugger. He had a huuuge one on back of his neck that I was following with interest. Then he turned up with a pad taped over it. ( you could almost see it throbbing). He bent forward and there was a pop and pus streamed out from under the bandage. He was hustled off to sick bay as all the normals squeed. I was just slavering. Why aren't kids boily anymore?

EBearhug · 12/02/2015 19:37

Soap & showers, I think. Not just the Sunday night bath once a week.

MrsDiesel · 12/02/2015 20:17

As a teen I had ab ingrown hair on my shin, it was a huge swollen red lump with a tiny white head on it. I actually took it to A & E to get it lanced. Gutted now though, I have discovered the joys of sporn and mourn the missed opportunity.

Mouthfulofquiz · 12/02/2015 20:30

My DH gets loads of pimples around the hair follicles in his armpits when he is run down / been sweaty a lot. When I pull the hair out to pop the spot, the root of the hair is about 10 times the size it should be. Then there is a satisfying popping feeling. It's great and he has a very very high pain threshold so I'm allowed to do what I want!! We call it 'grooming' in this house. Like monkeys.
I love this thread so much.

Chippednailvarnish · 12/02/2015 20:37

I never thought I would have breast abscess envy Envy Frankel

Mine wasn't ripe enough for my GP to touch and he wanted to send me to the A&E on call surgical team for them to drain it, but 24 hours on antibiotics and it calmed down.

StrawberryTallCake · 12/02/2015 20:47

I am not a sporner and most of your stories might make me feel a bit vommy but I feel I need to share my story - I'm hoping you won't mind Grin

I was 18 and had a graze which came from sliding off a wall too quick carpet burn . At the time I had an abscess under each arm (some sort of staph infection) which I was given some sort of chalky cream for and told to apply and put big bandages on, they burst and the pus came out which was painful but relieving.

Meanwhile the graze on my back had turned into an abscess so I put some cream on that and covered it in a bandage. I started to feel a bit woozy the next day and my at the time bf changed my bandage for me, the top layer of the abscess had come off and inside it was a perfect circle filled with different pockets of pus, like craters, but kind of beautiful like flower petals yet disgusting at the same time. It had to be cleaned, obviously I needed antibiotics but it eventually cleared.

And I lived happily ever after.