This is so bizarre...

[PistolWhipped]

DP just returned from Tesco having bought a 12.5g box of Amber Leaf tobacco. When he tore off the cellophane and looked inside the box he found no tobacco and precisely seven sheets of toilet paper and 2 two-pence pieces! What the devil is going on? We're just sat here, open-mouthed, staring at bog roll and coppers. Has anyone got any idea what could have happened at t'factory? Has anything like this ever happened to you? Where's our baccie?!

If Amberleaf is supplied in boxes I'm a grandmother.

It's in pouches and unless you pick up such a small version in a robotic hand then the forgery would be immediately apparent.

Tesco sold it, Tesco are responsible, the substitution is likely down to one of their employees, they would be the only ones to profit by pocketing any cash.

I'm going to write to that bald fella who tracks down feeves and scoundrels on telly in a morning.

Dom? Oh you must it's just the kind of conshoooomer ishooooo he loves.

I hope you've been practising your Daily mail sad face op

Amber leaf 12.5 is in a pouch, in a box (far too much packaging)

Sorry pistol but this threads been hilarious.

Surprised at tesco offering absolutely no help though, did you buy more baccy and roll one on customer service desk to be sure?

The box is to keep it all together (baccy/paper/tips) or to put your pre rolls in when you're going out drinking. Impossible to roll a decent cig when you're swaying.

Oh great, I was just reading this and rubbing my hands with excitement that I would be the first to direct you to dom littlewood regarding Conshooooomer ishoooooss but I see I have been beaten to it!
Op, I'd have been raging if that were me, no one comes between me and my nicotine fixes if they want to keep their eyeballs.

Email Tesco. We had a problem with our local store messing up deliveries a few months ago and when we emailed we were given a voucher to compensate the original problem and another voucher to compensate for it not being sorted quicker. Then a few days later we got a call from someone higher up (I can't remember what he said his job was) who wanted more details to prevent it happening again and then he sent us another voucher.

I just pulled my pants down in the tampon aisle and fingered myself in full view of the manager's office. That'll learn 'im.

I think this is karma or summat. I'll confess: A long time ago, at the same store, someone 'alf-inched me brolly from just inside the doors, so I stomped up to Customer Services ranting about feeves and scoundrels and she said 'Would you like to come and look in lost property to see if someone has actually handed it in?' 'Yes, please', said I, indignantly. When I got there I saw a bloody belter - reet posh - and clearly expensive (mine cost a quid from Poundland and had a wonky spoke). 'That's it!' I screamed, 'that's me brolly! and off I skipped.

I'm being punished, aren't I?

Yelwah, you'd better get knittin, cock.

Taking upgraded brollies from lost property is a long-standing scam. It's called "switching"

You are being punished for the umbrella incident yes, I don't blame you for fingering yourself in the tampon aisle, if that don't work, muffin will.

I mean nuffin, obvs, I haven't got a clue what muffin would be in that context.

Amber leaf was being sold in boxes before I was old enough to smoke, the pack contained what you need to roll a spliff, obvs none of that cannabis malarkey but YSWIM.

This thread is hilarious, but Tescos are silly. I would tweet 'em. You wouldn't get that sort of attitude in Waitrose

I don't have a Twitter account. I don't trust myself not to abuse Lily Allen.

I've made teeny tiny paper aeroplanes out of the Amber Leaf ciggie papers and am chucking them at DP's head. He is not amused.

Maybe we could all bombard Tescos Twitter with "Free the Amberleaf One!"

This thread has made me laugh

"I don't trust myself not to abuse Lily Allen"

How strange!! I would love to know the outcome of this?

When I smoked rollies I was a Golden Virginia girl. In liquorice papers.
Ah, them were t'days...

The manager also offered to bring me to orgasm.

Has anyone called for Classics yet?

The best Fred ever .

On a serious note, I will not be letting this drop. However, what is it I want? A £4-odd refund for the missing baccy and an apology? It's not even my problem, is it? It's my uvver 'alf's. I don't think I can even be bothered to have an orgasm.