HOT TITS!!

[wantacatplease]

...is something my 18 month old daughter has started exclaiming, quite loudly and gaily when we're out and about.

No idea what she's trying to say!

Both my twins say cocklit (chocolate)

The one twin, to my dismay, has learnt how to say 'shit'. Whenever she drops anything it but followed by a loud and clear 'SHIT'!

Bitch is beach in our house and ass is house! We often leave the ass and go to the bitch...

Smarties are still known as farties in our house twenty years later:)

Dd 20months loves Macca Pacca (of course) and shouts his name every time she sees a stone, unfortunately she hears Macca as 'Wank-er'

The Toddler likes dicks. Big dicks, long dicks, small dicks, pointy dicks, dicks with leaves, dog's dicks.

Best one in our house was my four year old recently telling me that he and his new buddy were playing minges. Spat my tea then established one likes minions, other likes ninjas...so they made a new game!

DD2, as a toddler, didn't like anything that was wet or even slightly damp; swing seats, the sea etc, so she would point at offending damp thing and exclaim loudly 'Too wat'!

My favourite is when my daughter heard some cutlery rattling on a trolley (we were at the hospital at the time) as it was going along a corridor. She listened and then announced it sounded just like "Santa and his slave"

DD1 used to say "dick" instead of "stick". I nearly died when she informed me she'd found a big dick in the garden.

DD1 used to call her grandad "Jar Jar", we still have no idea where it came from to this day.
DS1 (4) has speech and language issues. At a recent appointment the speech therapist remarked how DS couldn't pronounce the "f" sound (fish was shish)- all good until ds looked at her and said "fu*k)

my dd1 re-christened her grandfather bob. his name is NOTHING like bob!!! weirdly, having moved on from this six years later dd2 did the exact same thing! he will always and forever more be grandad bob; even though his name is Christopher!!!

DUMB FUCK! yelled every time DS saw a dump truck. Including every morning on public transport on our way to nursery.

FUCKIT!!!! (Aka Space Rocket according to DS)

My son used to say 'hells bells', his childminder discussed her concerns over him saying it every car journey until I told her it meant hay bales

Me - can you shut the door, there's a big draught in here.
DD1 (looking round frantically) - Giraffe, where?

Cheeky Lager - turned out to be Lady Gaga.
Lala LeeLee Lally - Lily of the Valley.
Pirate -pyrex.

We found the children a wardrobe on holiday wearing plastic bowls on their heads. They overheard a conversation where we'd described the cupboard as surprisingly spacious as "space ship".

Half a pound of tuppenny rice, half a pound of weasels.

The carol 'Little Loud Jesus.'

Hot Crusty Running - cross country running.

'Ting' for cheers with glasses. 'Cheese it" for take a photo (as in say cheese). Suncream is supercream.

DD2 is at the parrot-stage without knowing what things mean so last week DH said "Mitigate" and she yelled back "No, you mitigate." Stop being insubordinate - followed by weeks of running about shouting "spordination"

Her favourite snack at the mo is "Jelly Biscuits" which we eventually worked out are Jaffa Cakes.

DD2 also insists that milk is nuke (delivered by the nuke man). No idea why or how - I'll say milk & she's say yes nuke.

DS's first ever sentence, on discovering that the blackberries we'd gone to pick weren't ripe, was 'Oh - we're fucked, then!'

Ds1, now a huge 14 year old, called biscuits sheepshits. Random family members still offer sheepshits to guests

DS2 can't say football. He plays 'fookall'

We were looking at warthogs this weekend (we don't live in the UK) and my dad were telling DS2 what they were called. When we got there he seriously told us that they were Grandad's dogs, and nothing we said could change his mind.

And I forgot, he also calls noodles 'nee-naws' and marshmallows are 'marshies'

I love this stage

DS used to say Cunch for cushion when he was 2.

A friend was staying with her 2 children who were 6 & 7.

They were playing around on the couch & knocked all the cushions off.

DS pipes up 'oh you silly Cunch'

My friend nearly fell off her chair while I rapidly tried to explain!

DD2 could get thank you right, it was fuk you for a very long time and she still can't say spiky, she says pikey instead, normally in the loudest voice 'Nooo, mummy you pikey me noooooo' Which in real language is 'no mummy you take it from me, it is spiky!''

Naughty crown from Teletubbies is "naughty crap". No idea why.
He has a paper crown, and when he wants to wear it, he says "want naughty crap"

Mind you, crab is also "crap", and so is "crowd". He says "hello, crap people" when he wants to say "hello, crowd of people". In a lift, for example :-)

DS1 had a lisp that meant that 'l' was pronounced as 'w'. No real problems until my parents moved to Lancashire.

Maybe she was trying to say 'rubbish' as she didn't think much of the programme, Euphemia. :-) The face she pulled was probably the equivalent of the teenagers 'duh' silly mummy!