Really inappropriate funeral thread

[Wh0dathunkit]

So, I'll share mine first.....
Had to decide (without a great deal of getting to know said deceased) what would be the most appropriate music....
We were doing really well. We found "Wish me luck as I wave you goodbye" as the out-tro...
Unfortunately, the CD we used was one of those odd old school ones where it wasn't just the song you were looking for but 2 other songs as well on a single track.
The other track was "Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler".
Whilst we warned the funeral directors, and they did a great job the first few repeats, a few slips happened. I'm not sure if the rellos found it funny (she was a game old bird), or if they were just too polite to say anything...

Please share, you'll make me feel better!

Not at mine but at a funeral

LilRed

Nowaysis

We buried my friend to Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd. The cassette (ok it was a long time ago) ran on a bit into some really lively rock'n'roll song! The deceased would have appreciated it but it was a bit of a shock for the mourners.

And, no, there was no bogof.

At a recent catholic funeral DH was a pall bearer and got holy water in the eye when the priest was doing the entrance to the church bit / flicking water. When the smoke bit came a friend caught it caught in her throat and started choking - loudly.

I finished the day by slipping off walk way in the graveyard and nearly into someone's grave, squinting DH grabbed my arm just in time.

'Twas a jolly good wake after that.

A pall bearer's (relation!) phone going off.
And as we drove away from a very tense and sad wake we backed into a pillar crunching our newish car rather badly. We giggled all the way home.

LilRedWG it's not uncommon - I have a family member who does funerals, and was absolutely delighted after a particular run of bad luck for a young man, for said young man to ask said family member to officiate some good news for a change! Family member could not have been more pleased

My Dad's friend had always look on the bright side of life played at his funeral ! Made everyone smile.

At my great grans funeral the vicar was saying that she met a man in the navy who then died in the war and then she went on to meet my great grandad who was also in the navy and do you know when your mouth opens before you think? Well I had that and piped up with "oh she liked her seamen then" me, mum and stepdad got the worst giggles ever and my aunt shot me the evil eyes

I drove all the way from the midlands to Edinburgh for my aunts funeral. My mum told me the wrong crematorium.

We popped into two funerals at two different crems that day. Neither of which were my aunts. We completely missed her funeral as never found the right crem. Mde the wake though.

At a great uncle's funeral in the crem chapel, the ... well, I don't remember if he was some sort of clergyman or crematorium staff - anyway, it started with an announcement, "Please be aware we've had some issues recently with the automatic mechanism on the curtains recently, so please don't worry if they start opening or closing unexpectedly."

I was a bit disappointed that they worked exactly as expected all through the funeral.

I was at a funeral with my dad once, stood quietly at the back as the crem was packed. Just as the curtains started closing my dad got a text, that was bad enough but his text tone was a little voice saying "help, help, I can't get out" -- thankfully the family saw the funny side but my dad was mortified!

My Grandma had "Magic Moments" played at her funeral. The priest said it was definitely a first.

I did once turn up a week early for a funeral. Didn't recognise anyone in the car park. Luckily there was a list of services pinned on the chapels door so unlike Galaxy's colleague I didn't go in!!

At my grandma's funeral the priest suddenly announced that I was going to read a reading-out loud, in front of everyone, without even knowing about it. I got back from the lecturn to my dad saying ' I'm so sorry'.'

The priest was Vietnamese (in Northern England) and kept referring to me and my sisters but using male names-'and her grand daughters Liam and Lawrence.'

We then had to go down the motorway (at 40 mph) as we were going to be late for the crem.
No one over took us as a mark of respect so we caused absolute gridlock.
We were behind the hurse crying with laughter at the whole thing.

My Dad once turned up at the wrong funeral - think he was late so he slipped in at the back and it was only afterwards he realised he didn't recognise anyone. Thing is he's a bit of a biker and was dressed in full leathers etc (which wouldn't have mattered at all to the friends whose relative's funeral he was supposed to be at) whereas everyone else was very smart and formal. We often wonder what on earth they must have thought and how many people were asking each other who the 70-odd year old biker in the corner was!

When my nan died my ds1 was 8, they were very close and shared the same birthday. He insisted he wanted to go to the funeral and came in the limousine with us. He was so excited when it pulled up heannounced to everyone 'this is the best day of my life'. I spent all day crying one minute, laughing the next.
Also at my fathers funeral my sister let out a huge snort when the vicar started a speech about my dad beginning, 'the life of Brian'......

At a friend's funeral someone had brought his satnav in, as the crem was notorious for cars being broken into. Just as his DS got up to do the eulogy a disembodied voice announced "you have reached your destination".

The poor boy choked out "Dad would have loved that" and sat down in floods.

I've told this one before, so apologies for those who have read it.

Me, MIL, Dh and BIL were sitting in MIL's living room with funeral director discussing plans for DFIL's funeral. Very somber and upsetting. All of a sudden an ambulance sped by outside with the siren blaring and DH, as calm as anything says "he will never sell ice creams going that fast".

Lightened the mood in the room anyway.

My father, with whom I've long had a difficult relationship, died a few months ago after a protracted illness. He was a lapsed catholic who had made it clear he wanted to be cremated. When the funeral director asked if we wanted a religious service I replied that I was considering a Catholic one so that when the coffin was struck by lightening I would be saved the cost of cremation.

Fortunately he had a sense of humour!

This should go in classics

My aunt's requested music to be played at her funeral (cremation) was 'Smoke Gets In Your Eyes'. Which was doubly appropriate as she was - as she had entirely expected - killed young by her 40 a day habit.

We all had to throw a flower on to the coffin, my mother completely missed the grave and hit another relative on the other side, my Dad had to lead me and dsis away in hysterics, saying it was grief .

My mother also fell in a freshly dug grave at a wedding once, we also got hysterics.

You guys are brilliant! Thank you so much! to brighten things up (ish) I was at a wedding where there was a real old school priesty-dude who kept banging on about being in the "Sloughs of depression". The wedding was in Northamptionshire - problem was there was a tonne of us giggling because we came from bloody Slough (at the time!).

Think I've derailed my own thread