Had a few chuckles today ....met girls for lunch....been friends years and remember many of each others exes....
One friend recalled an ex who always used to ask for his pasta to be served 'El dente' even in fine Italian restaurants....he was no foodie and she used to 'cringe in her seat'
One of my exes used to ask for 'lattice fries' ....the L at start of word used to be drawn out....I used to twitch....I hated it so much.... he would ask this in any pub....restaurant.
Another ex of mine used to say he was going for a 'wee wee' and called his stomach his 'tummy'
He didn't last long really....
Just fun.... anyone got any others sayings that spring to mind on the 'cringeworthy meter'
Ex is an ex for a reason
Lllllatice fries anyone 
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Cringeworthyness of ex partners....
Only1scoop · 28/07/2014 19:03
Drank.... Oh my goodness how I'm howling at these....
The Virgin....
Eeeuuuu I remember a slightly similar experience....I decided then and there I no longer did basic training 
And a quick advanced search shows me I have discussed him on a "host from hell" and a "Round Robin letter at Christmas thread". 
I am clearly more traumatised about it than I thought. I'd forgotten they also send twee RR letters. (I bet they call each other Mummy and Daddy as well.)
Shia I HATE people who say "Oh I can't pronouce x" - yes you bloomin' well can, you just choose not too arrrggghhh 
I had a boyfriend at uni who once tucked his bits between his legs to look like he had a fanny while doing a Vic Reeves impression oh the shame that I ever found him attractive. WTF is wrong with some blokes?
At university I misguidedly slept with this bloke once. Next day he told me proudly that he'd phoned his mother (?!) to tell her he'd had sex with someone 'and she wasn't surprised'.
I beat a hasty retreat, as you do, but it was a small university and he became mates with my mates. One day we were all in his room, and when the conversation went dead he purred seductively to me 'why don't we ask them all to leave so you and I can have a shaaargh, then.'
WTF?! No.
My wanker ex used repeatedly to argue with me about a minor detail of the way female anatomy works. He was wrong, but what got me was we'd have this argument multiple times, as if he somehow imagined one day I'd figure it out. 
We split up quite a few years ago, and on the (rare) occasions I meet him socially, his entire small-talk is limited to discussing our sex life. Our sex life wasn't that interesting when we were having it, it's sure as fuck not interesting to go over it again in public!
What is it with blokes feeling the need to let everyone know you've slept with them?! Surely if they were any good, you'd still be doing it, so they're actually advertising the fact they were not good enough in bed to keep you?
My ex
- ate with his mouth open
- had his bedroom completely covered with Liverpool tat, and also had a tattoo of the Liverpool badge that he would kiss
- once punched a mirror in anger and the thing didn't even break it was hilarious I couldn't help but laugh
Went on ( our one and only date!) went to some pubs in glasgow and one way home I stopped for some chips and curry sauce ( as I am a classy burd) only to be told by him 'that I shouldn't be eating that and at this time of night as it will go straight to my hips!
Then his mum came to pick us up( he was very much precious son) and as we were only 18, glasgow was much too scary at night for her son to travel home .... Anyway, they both spoke in Italian all the way home completely ignoring me apart from bits I could understand like my name and places we'd been too. Discussing our date in front of me! Cheeky fuckers!!
Dumped pronto! 
God my first boyfriend was a nobhead. He was beyond juvenile and it used to wind me up something rotten. For example if we got off the bus I'd say "thank you" to the driver and he'd say "I love you" to him then piss himself laughing He also used to do stupid things like scare people in shops by jumping out from behind shelves (usually little old ladies already on the brink of cardiac arrests) and would think it was funny to shout random words like 'gay' in the middle of the street then pretend it wasn't him. Think Dik and Dom in Da Bungalow, except very unfunny and embarrassing.
His mates were just as bad. One of them once poured a pint of lager on a random girls head in a pub because 'he thought it would be a laugh'. Another time they (along with my boyfriend) went to a party at a student house, drew penises all over their walls and set off all the fire extinguishers. because I didn't find this funny I was a 'humourless saddo'. We were 18 btw.
He wondered why I dumped him and then proceeded to stalk me for six months and wouldn't get back with him. Ooh, I wonder!
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
OK, alter wins. 
Tell us alter, what was it that made you end the relationship...because I'm struggling here to see what's not to like......
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