Oh do I have a new low in wedding poems for you...

[Weddingpoet]

This is so going to out me but I actually don't care. I went to a wedding this weekend. We had to buy our own evening meal and the invitation said "no presents please, cash gifts only". There was a wishing well at the reception to but cash into (ringing the bell as you did ). This morning I received this corker which, obviously, I needed to share with you at once...

Cash we asked for because cash we need
For our kitchen to proceed
Having checked our wishing well
We think some people might not have rung the bell.
If you’re one who has forgotten
Don’t sit at home feeling rotten
Just use the bank details at the end of this ditty
And you can still contribute to our kitchen kitty

I would really have to tell them how unbelievably bay behaved they are being.

I've decided that anyone asking for cash will get nothing from me.

badly behaved

There was a young couple who wed
And caused all their guests to see red
A poem for money
Which they thought was funny
Lost them their friendships instead

This can't be real surely? How can people be so bloody rude and greedy?!

If the standard Debrett response to a wedding poem asking for money became 'Fuck you', I personally think the world would be a better place.

You are rude
We are stunned
Can we have
A full refund?

Dear Bride and Groom I am itchin'
To say what I think of your bitchin'
Shut your fat gob
Go get a job
And pay for your own fucking kitchen

Fab limericks Bogeyface :o

You sent another 'poem' to be even more grabby.
That's utterly shabby and makes me feel stabby.
I'm using the bank details at the end of your ditty
To refund my cash. And no this doesn't fucking rhyme.

And I love yours Psammead!

greedy sods

NO! WAY!

whatever happened to "Thank you" ???

Weddingpoet, this wedding has completely top trumped any other wedding from hell I have ever read about on Mumsnet .

I am squirming just reading about it.

Please please please you must send a poetic reply.

I LOVE Suzanne's poem!

Tell them you've passed on their bank details to a Nigerian General who, with impeccable timing, just emailed you to say he's got millions.

Bogeyface that is perfect!!!

I think I would set up an anonymous email and send them all of the poems on this thread along with a note saying how shocked and embarrassed (on their behalf) you are and do they know that they have single handedly insulted every single guest.

How very dare they.

Tacky as fuck.

For your greedy poem you deserve to be slated;
Consider yourselves un-related.

Thank you Minty :o

Can someone work Linerunner's Nigerian general idea into a poem?

Put it all in an ISA,
By the end of the year it will look much nicer.

'Hubs and I'

Is that rather too grammatically correct for this couple?
Would it be more 'myself and hubs'?

You say you need cash and I hear ya
There this man that I know in Nigeria
Tell him "we are poor so
Give us some dough
He'll send Sheckles, Dollars and Lira