Oh do I have a new low in wedding poems for you...

[Weddingpoet]

This is so going to out me but I actually don't care. I went to a wedding this weekend. We had to buy our own evening meal and the invitation said "no presents please, cash gifts only". There was a wishing well at the reception to but cash into (ringing the bell as you did ). This morning I received this corker which, obviously, I needed to share with you at once...

Cash we asked for because cash we need
For our kitchen to proceed
Having checked our wishing well
We think some people might not have rung the bell.
If you’re one who has forgotten
Don’t sit at home feeling rotten
Just use the bank details at the end of this ditty
And you can still contribute to our kitchen kitty

Pirate

No!

I do like the telegram idea. I don't think I'd put strong letter, though. Just the first sentence.

Linerunner wins!
Pithy.

AAaahahahahaa those response poems are fabulous. Well done, MN.

Un-fucking-believable!

How awful for you, OP. But you can't help relatives, at least they aren't friends.

Your shitty poem is a winner
But since we had to pay for dinner
No money's in your wishing well
My wish is that's you'll go to Hell.

THAT not that's . Gah!

No jeffing way!

Dear lord, so this couple spent their wedding night fishing the cash out of their wishing well and counting it, and now they're disappointed with the total?

And yes, I also want to know, are cash gifts in a wishing well included with a note or card so the bride and groom know who gave how much, or just anonymous envelopes of money?

That ditty is dire
Has provoked my ire
I'm now so irate
I ain't gonna donate

Unbelievable

That makes me cringe inside for them

Which is your relative, OP, the bride or groom? Do you think they're both behind the grabbiness, or is one of them leading it?

I am cringing at the thought! So rude!

Sadly I do believe it . Don't understand how anyone could possibly think it was a good idea though.

I do hope you donated nothing more than a pair of rubber gloves as you rang the bell.... :) Grasping, crass and thought it would work as a poem. Deserves to go viral on Facebook.

Fuck your kitchen
Quit your bitchin
Stuff your well
And shove your bell

Perhaps we could muster a limerick, but we'd need a location...

There was a young couple from?

Or indeed simply, 'Fuck your kitchen'.

Oh my lord, the cheek of them.

The whole ringing the bell thing is just cringeworthy.

Maybe cut it right down to 'fuck you'?

Good God - that is shocking.

People are so greedy. I went to a wedding where the bride and groom wanted money to go travelling for a year. Another one where the bride and groom wanted money to buy a camper van. Vulgar and greedy.

Fuck me!

Hmmm DS and his DF are getting married in September.We were wondering how to trim a few bob off.Now about these wishing wells ............. ? < NOT >