Oh do I have a new low in wedding poems for you...

[Weddingpoet]

This is so going to out me but I actually don't care. I went to a wedding this weekend. We had to buy our own evening meal and the invitation said "no presents please, cash gifts only". There was a wishing well at the reception to but cash into (ringing the bell as you did ). This morning I received this corker which, obviously, I needed to share with you at once...

Cash we asked for because cash we need
For our kitchen to proceed
Having checked our wishing well
We think some people might not have rung the bell.
If you’re one who has forgotten
Don’t sit at home feeling rotten
Just use the bank details at the end of this ditty
And you can still contribute to our kitchen kitty

Wow. Seriously, wow.

We asked for money as it's a cultural thing but there were no god awful "poems" involved.

just

PLEASE tell us about the paying for you evening meal bit - how was that worded on the invite - and did you even get to choose ?

Is this for real?

These people are grabby, grasping arseholes (and really poor poets).

Second the idea of anon email and forwarding on the (much better) poems on this thread, plus a link to the IKEA website for cheap kitchens.

Bloody cheek.

Feck your kitty
Your money grabbing is really shitty.

It's not naice
To ask for money
And your poem
Wasn't amusing

Your poem's going to start some quarrels
What a shame you can't refurbish your morals.

That's awesomely awful. The sheer front!!

Please please please can the next MN publication be The MN book of replies to wedding poems?

doesn't anyone say thank you any more?

I'm more than happy to give money as makes life soooooo much easier.

Bit to send a letter saying it wasn't enough? Fuck right off!!!

Oh please, please buy one of those "my wedding" photo books and put every single return poem from MN in it.

I think you should go on to a wedding forum as a puzzled and naive guest and post up the poem (and the fact that you paid for your own meal) and ask what the correct etiquette is in this situation. I wonder if you would get a very different response.

Then come back and tell us, for further value.

Excellent work re The Nigerian General.

I don't believe you. I think you MNHQ are masquerading as the OP to get material for the forthcoming MN book of replies to wedding poems. MNHQ, you can't get me for troll hunting, you're rumbled.

I opened your 'thank you card' with aniticpation
Of receiving your heartfelt appreciation
But instead you want more
And if I didn't before
I now think you need to fuck right off you grabby areshole relations

Wow! Just, wow! Do you know if everyone got this email or just the guests they suspected hadn't given enough/anything? Actually, I don't know which would be worse ..........

:o

TBH I'm not sure I'd believe it if it wasn't for the fact I have met the OP at an MN meet up :o

Have you phoned everyone else you know who probably got this mail? You can share the replies out.

I remember the OP of old as well, definitely not made up !

you're havin' a laugh
if you think we'll cough up
your idea is daft
(and your mother's a slut)

Weddingpoet is legit. And I want more descriptions of the bridal party attire, actually.

People's grabbiness just gets worse and worse and I don't even mind the Bride and Groom asking for money. I'll tell them to stick the poem where the sun don't shine.

@ Biscuitmillionaire