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Oh do I have a new low in wedding poems for you...

620 replies

Weddingpoet · 21/07/2014 09:43

This is so going to out me but I actually don't care. I went to a wedding this weekend. We had to buy our own evening meal and the invitation said "no presents please, cash gifts only". There was a wishing well at the reception to but cash into (ringing the bell as you did ). This morning I received this corker which, obviously, I needed to share with you at once...

Cash we asked for because cash we need
For our kitchen to proceed
Having checked our wishing well
We think some people might not have rung the bell.
If you’re one who has forgotten
Don’t sit at home feeling rotten
Just use the bank details at the end of this ditty
And you can still contribute to our kitchen kitty

OP posts:
EauRouge · 21/07/2014 10:03

Fuck. Ing. Hell.

If they need stuff for a kitchen, buy them a wooden spoon. And write on the label 'HTH'.

TheFairyCaravan · 21/07/2014 10:04

OMG! Shock

Tell us more about the wedding.......

Retropear · 21/07/2014 10:04

No.way!!!Shock

You sooooo have to send one of the replies below(and report back).

Pleeeeease!

KEGirlOnFire · 21/07/2014 10:05

Can I just say that my family run a wedding business and wishing wells and wishing trees are actually very popular at the moment. BUT they are for putting lovely notes in them (on cards provided) for the bride & groom - NOT MONEY!!!

As you were...

mummaduke · 21/07/2014 10:05

No no noooo I can't/don't believe you!!!

Really???!!!

REEEAAALLLY?

TSSDNCOP · 21/07/2014 10:06

I'm not paying for your kitchen
So FFS stop your bitching
If you must continue very well
Let me show you where to shove your bell

GrowlLikeMargeSimpson · 21/07/2014 10:06

A wedding is a celebration
Not a money making operation
I hope you enjoy your lovely new kitchen
I hope I've heard the last of your bitchin'

DidoTheDodo · 21/07/2014 10:07

My gob is thoroughly smacked by this. It's a WINNER!
(Do people actually DO this? On what planet is this acceptable?)

LineRunner · 21/07/2014 10:08

Fuck your wedding extravaganza
And fuck your shitty wedding stanza

GobblersKnob · 21/07/2014 10:08

Speechless, omg Shock

Suzannewithaplan · 21/07/2014 10:08

If I'd received that 'verse' I don't think I could bring myself to respond, I'd be embarrassed to engage with someone who could issue such absolute dross.
Could the bar be set any lower?
Do you like this couple OP, I mean do you find them good company?

Mrsgrumble · 21/07/2014 10:09

No way. That is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard. I would be tempted to print out these pages and post them to the happy grabby couple.

FruVikingessOla · 21/07/2014 10:09

Wow! No?!

Love all the poems. Send them all, Weddingpoet Grin

BBQsAreSooooOverrated · 21/07/2014 10:10

WTAF Shock that's awful. Really awful!

Mrsmorton · 21/07/2014 10:10

linerunner brilliant.

I love all of the return poems. MN has talent.

Weddingpoet · 21/07/2014 10:10

Ok more details

They are both twentysomethings. He has been married before and has five children with three other women. He had a stand up row with his own mother at the reception after she came down for the evening bit in a dress that looked rather too much like a wedding dress, having worn something like a 17 year old might go clubbing in to the church service. Bride and groom have known each other less than a year and were given £15k by parents as a house deposit as a wedding present.

It might have been a live wedding thread had there been any 3G signal at the reception venue.

OP posts:
FatewiththeLeadPiping · 21/07/2014 10:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ThatWasNice · 21/07/2014 10:11

OMG! I can barely believe this.

madasa · 21/07/2014 10:12

Gob well and truly smacked

FatewiththeLeadPiping · 21/07/2014 10:13

This reply has been deleted

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Suzannewithaplan · 21/07/2014 10:13

My vote goes to linerunners pithy response, I don't think anyone should really waste the effort required to compose more than a couple of lines

Suzannewithaplan · 21/07/2014 10:14

Did Jeremy Kyle show up?

WallyBantersJunkBox · 21/07/2014 10:15

What do you think will last longest op? The marriage or the building work on the kitchen?

GrowlLikeMargeSimpson · 21/07/2014 10:16

Do you get a full refund if the marriage lasts less than 2 years?

Piratejones · 21/07/2014 10:16

What do you think will last longest op? The marriage or the building work on the kitchen?

Or the mothers hangover.