What happens to people after they die in hospital

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I don't know what's made me wonder this morning. A few years ago my DM died in hospital. We said our goodbyes and left her in the room, looking like she was sleeping. The hospital was fairly busy during this time, think it was visiting hours.

What will have happened after we left? Will they have treated her as if she were still alive, talked to her? Do they really cover up their faces? And how are they taken to the morgue?

Just want to know. Really missing DM.

Have done. You just click report and then fill in the box with your reasons.

I've reported it for classics too. Such a lot of comfort on here. to you all

What a wonderful thread - I'm in tears.

Peace to all those who have lost loved ones

A lovely thread, thanks to all the caring nurses. I had no experience of death until my Dad died at home after a long illness and I was able to assist the Marie Curie nurse with the 'last offices', it was a good experience. She washed him whilst I picked his clothes, when he was dressed and had his teeth back in, she placed his hands the way he always held them - she'd noticed his mannerisms from visiting for a number of months. He looked lovely, after being in pyjamas for weeks, he looked as if he was about to go out somewhere.
It's a shame that we don't get involved with the dying these days. Years ago, before the NHS there would be a woman in every street who would come into houses to lay out the dead.

That job must have been such an honour 1944girl. To see both birth and death every day, wow.

My mum wore the dress she wore for my wedding once she was laid out.

Thank you for all the classics nominations. I agree that it would be a shame for all these tender posts to disappear.

Yes this is a wonderful thread. I have been living with breast cancer and metastases for a long time and have always been a little fearful of what will happen to me after my death. How will I be treated.
My Mum had a full term stillborn baby girl a year before she had me. We, my sister and brother, had no idea, our parents had never mentioned this before my Mum suddenly told us out of the blue. The baby had been taken away, she never saw her but had been told by my Gran the baby looked beautiful. The baby was buried in a quiet part of the local cemetery that had been kept especially for babies at that time. There were no headstones. I was able to locate the exact spot after contacting the council and Mum and I visited. She was comforted it wasn't a dark forgotten corner but a bright and sunny spot. She had never asked where her baby was buried. It was just 2 weeks after this Mum was diagnosed with late stage ovarian cancer, she died just a week after diagnosis.

Most nurses are compassionate and will talked to the deceased as they are being washed and dressed, hair combed/brushed, etc.
Sorry for your loss OP.

What on earth did PirateJones say that was offensive?

1944girl what lovely women/neighbours your gran and great-gran were. It's a shame that communities like that don't seem to exist any more.
OP I'm glad this thread has helped you, I'm sure your Mum looked beautiful in her best dress.

You don't want to know Irn, just be glad it was deleted.

Just back to this thread, and it is lovely to see all the other nurses repeating the same experiences.

WandaF - I really appreciate your post but while the staff were lovely when caring for her, and speaking to me on the phone during her last days, they were not with her when she died. She died alone and that makes me so sad. No one sat with her as she left us and that is just incomprehensible.

I've often wondered if someone has control over their death.

Some people seem to hang on for ages, then all of the family will visit, and they slip away once goodbyes have been said with their loved ones beside them.

Others have seemed to wait until their family have left. Some seem to need permission to die - to be told it's ok to go, we will love you and remember you forever.

So please don't feel sad if your loved one passed away with no-one there. I've often thought it was a choice, almost to not want to be watched as they leave this world.

I know my dad waited for me to leave before he died. I sat at his bed for almost 12 hours and only an hour after I left he had passed away. He was always a private person and very proud, dignified man, so he wouldn't have wanted me to see him go. I take comfort from that- he died in the way he would have chosen.
Also, I've had a psychic reading done a few times, and my mum came through (for the first time ever) with my dad. He knew I was there but found it very undignified at the end. I don't mean to debate spirituality, psychics etc, but this is of huge comfort to me to know that my parents are still part of my life.

I sat with a gentleman and his daughter while he was dying, and he waited until she left for a short break before he passed away. It really is a privilege to be with somebody during their last moments, and continue to care for them afterwards. I've also sat with someone while they were waiting for family to arrive, and held their hand when they died. I had never met him before but I was glad that he wasn't alone.

to all of you who have lost someone and I hope this thread gives you some relief.

This really is a lovely thread.

My little boy died at Worcester Royal Infirmary nearly ten years ago now. There were some wonderful midwives, one a nun, that cared for us after we had been transferred from 100 miles away.

It pains me that I can't remember the names of the midwives that looked after us, I do know one was called Rose, but they were so lovely, and gentle and calm. They let us have our little boy for a couple of days after he had died, came in in the night to put fresh ice blocks in the crib so he could stay with us, and when it was time for us to say goodbye to him properly, they carried him down to the morgue themselves.

One particular midwife though, will always stay with me. I don't know her name, but she sat with me in the wee hours one morning, and held me as I sobbed, and shared with me that she herself had lost a little girl. She told me that even though I had thought I'd said goodbye to my son, I should go and see him one more time, because after the funeral would be too late. I took her advice and I am so glad I did.

I wish I could let those people, who were only doing their job, what a difference they have made in my life.

Oh Opies :'(
So sorry for your loss
Thank goodness for the amazing people that show such kindness at these terrible times.

This thread has made me cry. I have never cried about a MN thread before ever.

It is so reassuring and heartwarming that people are treated with so much dignity. My grandfather was an amazing man, a father of 5, a grandfather of 9 and a great grandfather of 12. He was loved and admired. He died in hospital and I am hopeful he was treated with the kindness that many Posters have described.

Polka actually thinking about it, you are probably right. When my Nana was given her prognosis she wasn't happy as she had had enough so maybe she was happy to go but I was devastated my baby coming wasn't enough to give her joy in life. Still pissed off at her selfish sons though.

weechops - I went to a psychic show and I am convinced my nana was "there" but a neighbour assumed it was for her and took over

Opies your post made me cry .

opies I'm so sorry for your loss x

jubelteen thank you.

polka I think you're right. We all left and mum waited til just after, til it was just her and dad.

Hi everyone,

Thank you to everyone who has reported this thread to us - it's truly moving. We're going to move it to Classics now, so it doesn't disappear.

If anyone had posted here banking on the fact that their posts would disappear after 90 days, and would rather not have them in Classics, then please do drop us a line.

Thank you KateS.

(Feel like I've 'made it' having a thread in Classics

I,m a nurse for a long time I worked in dementia care , usually with our patients they had been with us a long time so we got to know their family when some body was dying the family had open access to the ward they could come and go as they liked throughout the day and night ,and after their relative hadassed they could stay as long as they .The nurses that looked after the patient after death unusually knew the patient well we had abox called rose cottage that contained the robe we dressed the patient in labels etc and information for the relatives such as how to contact undertakers ,the morgue etc patients and relatives were always treated with upmost respect.

Had died not hadassed and the nurses usually not unusually sorry.