What happens to people after they die in hospital

[Unsureif]

I don't know what's made me wonder this morning. A few years ago my DM died in hospital. We said our goodbyes and left her in the room, looking like she was sleeping. The hospital was fairly busy during this time, think it was visiting hours.

What will have happened after we left? Will they have treated her as if she were still alive, talked to her? Do they really cover up their faces? And how are they taken to the morgue?

Just want to know. Really missing DM.

I'm a burse working with the elderly so sadly lots of deaths. We wash and change them and I ways continue to talk to them. The family can take as long as they want to say goodbye and the curtains are closed for privacy. If the death is expected then we try to move the patient to a side room for more privacy. They are then wrapped in clean sheets and taken to the mortuary in a covered trolley (similar to the ones live patients are transferred on but with a cover).

My friend is an ITU nurse and always talks to the patients who've died just as she did when they were alive. She says they may still be around in the room...who're we to assume "that's it" just because their body is no longer working.

She has a chat to them and lets them know what she's doing and that how nice it will be to be at peace now and to move on to the next thing...whatever that is.

She admits it's partly to help herself and partly for the patient.

This thread is so sad.

doris and captain, your posts moved me to tears.

My wee girl was stillborn, and the thought that she probably wasn't alone much is a comfort. I hated the idea of her being cold and lonely, and since I didn't do what I could/should have for her, it's good to know a midwife might have.

These posts show nursing at its best. Those of you who work in the NHS 'front line', thank you for caring . This is a very moving thread.

So sorry Unsureif for your loss, but what a reassuring thread; to everyone .

The tea set brought back a memory from when my MIL passed, the nurses bought tea, in what was very obviously 'the best tea set', I remember thinking at the time it was all a bit odd, having tea around MIL in the bed, and it now makes me smile, that everything was just so normal after what had been such a sad time.

I thought a lot too about what happened when we had gone, it was very hard walking out the room, now I know.

1944girl

Things have changed a lot - babies don't leave the room unless the parents express that wish but I know that historically the same care wasn't given following a loss of a baby in pregnancy or shortly after.

I learnt from lovely midwives about looking after families after their babies had died but what reinforced it for me was working in gynae clinic... I always introduced myself as a midwife (because I was) and I lost count of the older ladies who immediately told me about the baby they had lost many, many years before. They knew the tiniest details of the day; the weather, the smells, the midwives and the doctors but hardly any had seen their baby because 'they didn't want to upset me because he / she wasn't normal'. This was often 30-40years down the line (they often told me how old their baby would have been) and yet they still felt that loss.

More often than not they finished with a sentence like 'I bet it's all changed now hasn't it' and I used to tell them that it had, that mums got to see their babies and cuddle them and that actually their babies would have been beautiful as never had I seen a mum say anything different. Everyone of them thought it was a wonderful change.

Not once did anyone in that age range tell me about one of their live births when I said I was midwife and it changed me as a professional for the better because women opened up like that.

Yes the tea set! My Gran died last night and we had a beaautiful tea set -

Pretty much what everyone else said (another NHS worker here)
I don't usually talk to patients after they've died but tend to just be quietly respectful. Patients are transferred in a concealment trolley to the mortuary & the mortuary staff very much see it as a continuation of care.
Please be reassured that the general consensus of NHS staff is to treat all patients, even after death, as if they were a member of their own family.

Timetracker please don't pollute this gentle uplifting thread, thankyou

sorry for your loss Squak. Sending very best wishes at this sad time.
P.s Loving the Kit Kat fingers on the 'NHS plates' aka paper towels. :)

It depends if it was a sudden death or an expected death unfortunatly.

If it was expected then, like everyone has said, the body is laid out, so tubes and wires removed, last bath is done, clean hospital gown and sheet and they are wrapped to take to the morgue.

If it was a sudden death then the body can not be washed if a coronor has to see the body. The tubes and wires are left in situ but the body is washed at a later date.

No matter the circumstances everyone is quiet and resepctful. I laid out many bodies when working for the NHS and care homes 10 years or so ago and we always, always treated them how we would want our relatives to be treated.

This thread makes me so proud to be a nurse :)

My beloved grandma is dying of cancer. Her carers and the Macmillan nurses are treating her with such care and dignity. This thread has given me some comfort in knowing she will continue to receive that even as she passes over.

Itsfab - I hope you can take comfort from this thread that your nana didn't die alone. Of course you couldn't travel hundreds of miles at 9 months pregnant. Although she was surrounded by what seems to you as "strangers", she was being cared for by respectful and caring individuals who took her under their wings, so to speak, and gave her the same comfort as you would have done if it had been possible for you to be there.

Thank you for this thread
Sorry for every ones losses

squak

Do you know what, I don't think we did get the tea set! Does every single ward have one? I'm not sure if my mum was just on a general rather than specific ward. But unless dad got the tea set before we all arrived!

Lovely thread, thanks OP and love to you at this tough, emotional time.

In case it helps anyone, my friend (not on mn) is a pathologist's assistant and she loves her job. She took the career choice when she had a stillborn baby and found such solace from spending lots of time with her baby before passsing him over. She takes immense pride in mothering all the babies who come to the pathologist and treating them with the upmost care and tenderness. So even when loved ones bodies need medical examination, they are still treated with care and respect xx

Araminta I don't know specifically but I do know that my dad has been a psychiatrist for 30 years & has the utmost respect for the care the psychiatric nurses give to their patients. I am sure that includes in death too.

I think I'll report this thread to see if it can be moved out of chat so that it won't disappear. So much comforting information.

Please do, exit. I wanted to nominate it for classics but didn't know the procedure. I agree it's a wonderful thread.