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Original poster

What happens to people after they die in hospital

237 replies

Unsureif · 20/06/2014 07:22

I don't know what's made me wonder this morning. A few years ago my DM died in hospital. We said our goodbyes and left her in the room, looking like she was sleeping. The hospital was fairly busy during this time, think it was visiting hours.

What will have happened after we left? Will they have treated her as if she were still alive, talked to her? Do they really cover up their faces? And how are they taken to the morgue?

Just want to know. Really missing DM. Sad

OP posts:
affafantoosh · 20/06/2014 07:44

Pirate i think the appropriate thing to do here is to bow out of this. As I always say to my children, an apology is the right thing to do but it doesn't undo or unsay.

OP I have no experience to offer but I hope you can take comfort in happy memories of your mum x

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell · 20/06/2014 07:45

I've been involved in last offices many times and it's never been as Pirate described. Aren't you the 'cool' one Pirate, being so blunt (and without facts) to somebody who is grieving?!
Please ignore her/him op.

We used to give the patient a full bed bath, I always spoken to them as though they could hear me "we are just going to roll you now" etc.
We put them into a clean gown and wrapped them in clean white sheets. The face is loosely covered as we ensure the whole body is securely wrapped up. Another poster mentioned opening the window to let the soul out, this is something we would do where possible, it's a comforting tradition.
The porters come with a special trolley and take the patient to 'Rose Cottage' (I think most places have similar names for it). The bedside curtains/doors of nearby patients are closed to allow for privacy for the deceased patient and to reduce upset - they've often built up bonds with fellow patients.
From there the mortuary staff and bereavement centre take over.

It's all done as respectfully and with as much dignity as possible. They are our patients to the end and it is an privilege for us to deliver this final bit of care for them.

SecretSpy · 20/06/2014 07:45

xposted with lots of other nurses I seeSmile
We really do, it's not for show. tbh it's impossible not to.

Piratejones · 20/06/2014 07:46

I've been involved in last offices many times and it's never been as Pirate described. Aren't you the 'cool' one Pirate, being so blunt (and without facts) to somebody who is grieving?!

Oh yes, very cool to upset someone!

i'm now in with the cool crowd.

Finished?

Original poster
Unsureif · 20/06/2014 07:46

Thank you so much for all the reassuring posts. I did wonder about how the porters move them because I've been around hospitals a lot and never knowingly seen what I would presume to be a person on the way to the morgue.

She was in a side room. She looked beautiful. Possibly the most beautiful I've ever seen her look.

OP posts:
TheGashlycrumbTinies · 20/06/2014 07:46

Not sure where Pirate gets that idea from. Speaking with 28 years experience here, patients were always spoken to with care, and treated with utmost care and dignity.
Why would a nurse suddenly not care? It is also upsetting for the staff if they have spent time with the patient and their relatives, and so a gentle chat, and explanation of what is happening is the norm. Straight after death the body is left for one hour and a window will be opened close by " to set the spirit free". Then they are washed and changed into a shroud, and placed in clean white sheets. Attendants from the morgue then take the body way. When this happens, the other patients doors / curtains are closed to give the deceased privacy.
Unsureif, I hope this help a little bit, I 'm sure your Mum was well looked after. Thanks

Gimmesomemore · 20/06/2014 07:47

Sorry for your loss op. x

affafantoosh · 20/06/2014 07:48

FGS pirate take it on the chin and leave it.

Piratejones · 20/06/2014 07:48

Pirate i think the appropriate thing to do here is to bow out of this. As I always say to my children, an apology is the right thing to do but it doesn't undo or unsay.

And i shouldn't wish it too.
However i really wish people would stop brining it up, becuase keep bringing it up is letting people forget it isn't it.

Original poster
Unsureif · 20/06/2014 07:48

Please will you back away pirate? I don't mean that to be rude but I don't want an argument on such a thread. I was shocked by your post and after thought apology. So please be kind and not squabble here.

OP posts:
gymboywalton · 20/06/2014 07:50

when my dad died-he was rushed in in an ambulance, with paramedics working on him. We followed behind in a car. we arrived to be told that he was DOA.
What would have happened there? Pirate jones-please don't answer me.

Doingakatereddy · 20/06/2014 07:50

Pirate get off this thread.

blondie that post made me well up.

unsureif my Dad dies last year, alone in hospital as he hadn't told anyone he was there. The staff were amazing, so respectful and my family had a sense that the staff treated death with dignity. I hope you find some peace with the answers on this thread.

Piratejones · 20/06/2014 07:50

I was shocked by your post and after thought apology

I missed the last line of the OP.

robotnikchair · 20/06/2014 07:52

When I was a junior doctor and asked to go and certify death even if I'd never met them I'd talk to them and often stroke their hair

ElizabethMedora · 20/06/2014 07:53

unsure my DH is a doctor on an elderly care ward. He's told me the nurses he works with are lovely with patients who had passed away, talking to them & treating them with respect as if they were still alive. I'm sure they will have done the same for your mum.

Piratejones · 20/06/2014 07:55

Pirate get off this thread.

I am trying but people keep talking to me. If everyone stops pointing out how insensitive the post was i will stop having to apologise and explain.

Cookiepants · 20/06/2014 07:57

Gymboy, his treatment should have been exactly the same. Did you spend any time with him after he passed away? The only difference following and unexpected death or when the patient hasn't been seen by a doctor in the 24 hours prior to death is that any lines (catheters, cannulas etc) are left in place in case a post mortem is required.

bonkersLFDT20 · 20/06/2014 07:57

My Mum died of cancer and spent her last 5 days in hospital. She was unable to be moved to the hospice due to norovirus outbreak in the hospital.

At all times she was treated with the utmost dignity and respect. One of the nurses who had been caring for her when on duty looked after her after she died and that meant a great deal to us. He took the time to explain what he would be doing and for me at least I found that very comforting.

I did wonder how they moved the body from the room to the mortuary and did not have the courage to ask the nurse that, so asked a GP friend later and she said they have special beds with a sunken compartment, so it looks like a normal bed to people passing it.

[wipes away a tear]

It's so good to talk about these things I find.

LittleBearPad · 20/06/2014 07:58

Hug OP. I hope your day goes ok. Sorry for your loss.

Morloth · 20/06/2014 07:59

Every nurse I have ever known has talked to the deceased person and also done the window opening thing.

gymboywalton · 20/06/2014 08:00

i didn't.
my mum and brother did.
my brother said he looked terrible.he still had the tube in his mouth etc.

the worst thing was throwing away his clothes-he had been wearing his favourite old saggy cardigan and they had had to cut it off him.[sob]

anyway- when my mum saw him at the undertakers, they said he looked fabulous-just like himself-but weller than he had been in ages. That's good i suppose.

Crazeeladee · 20/06/2014 08:02

Pirate, why bother keeping posting on this thread? It's obvious that you will be upsetting the op, she only posted to get reassurance, which 99% of us are giving, just leave it!

newnameforanewstart · 20/06/2014 08:02

I run a very busy department were we do unfortunately deal with a lot of end of life.

I can assure you that despite being exceptionally busy with a lot of patients, my nursing team go out of their way to care for patients after they have passed on, as do all the medical team.

We do talk to our patients we do this not only out of respect for them but as a form of grieving ourselves. I know of not one person that has entered the medical profession without wanting to care and look after people. We feel a loss when we are unable to fulfil that duty. In some cases we may have built up relationships with a patient over a period of time. In others we have never met them before.

I can speak on behalf of my whole department that we treat each "passing" as if they were a member of our own family. With upmost respect and care at all times.

NO ONE has ever been placed in a storage cupboard. Even when we are exceptionally pushed for space or time etc. We have protocols to follow and this is something that quite simply would never ever happen.

As other posters have mentioned the body is washed and cleaned with total care and respect. We normally chat away to the deceased exactly the same as if they were still awake. The body is wrapped and transported by attendants.

I have worked with many staff, I have contact with the whole of the team that deals with deceased patients and I can guarantee you that each and every person involved with this process acts with professionalism, respect and care at each and every stage.

I am very sorry for your loss please be reassured that your DM will have been treated as we would any patient, With care, respect and upmost professionalism at all times.

Piratejones · 20/06/2014 08:05

Pirate, why bother keeping posting on this thread? It's obvious that you will be upsetting the op, she only posted to get reassurance, which 99% of us are giving, just leave it!

Please stop mentioning it.

If everyone left the post it would have been deleted and that would have been that, but now every other poster has mentioned it, please just stop talking about it. If people stop talking to me i'm not going to post here.

just please stop.

Original poster
Unsureif · 20/06/2014 08:06

Ah, Gym. Have a hug Flowers My DM also looked the 'healthiest' and most relaxed than she had been for ages. I love thinking of how she looked then. She looked like she had a little smile on her face.

I did wonder how they moved the body from the room to the mortuary and did not have the courage to ask the nurse that, so asked a GP friend later and she said they have special beds with a sunken compartment, so it looks like a normal bed to people passing it.

What a great idea :) I probably have seen those without realising.

OP posts:
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