He has eaten a fat ball

[ManifestoMT]

And complained to me that it was a bit greasy.

Sigh

the fuckwit has eaten the fatballs made by the children in a park last week and left in the fridge to solidify.

I have no idea what culinary delight he thought they were supposed to be.

I wouldn't mind but he was there when they made them!

Hurting with laughter at "artisan scotch eggs!"

This whole thread is brilliant - laughing so hard here!!

Have to admit I would be using this for EVER - any complaints about my cooking - "you ate a fat ball", any complaints about a mistake I made - "you ate a fat ball", any complaints about anything - "you ate a FAT ball!". Hope you're more restrained than me!

Oh please play music by Fatball Slim when he gets home....and start reminiscing about Johnny 'Think of a Number' fatBall...

This is brilliant and why I love mumsnet so much!

I thought my mum was bad, she let herself into my house saw a big pot of 'yoghurt' sitting on the counter (next to the paper and scissors) and helped herself to a big spoonful of it. Later when she mentioned she thought the yoghurt wasn't very nice I pointed out it was pva glue complete with a glue spreader!!

I almost wee'd a little!

Fat balls
String/ twigs
Tebay services
ARTISAN SCOTCH EGGS

This thread ticks all the boxes OP

I have seen the picture. Ye gods. He is clearly a few seeds short of a bird feeder isn't he?!

I can imagine it becoming the new condiment in the family "want some string with that?" I hope your daughter gets as much mileage as possible out of it too "but Daddy, you ate my fat ball "

I wonder if MNHQ can add pictures to posts and whether they would be willing to. Just flutter eyes at them

"She is just about to have a massive hissy fit but stopped in her tracks when I said daddy ate it by mistake. But it's for the birds. Mummy why did daddy eat it?"

Aw, he was obviously bang up to date with the latest health stories

Why Fat is Good for You sorry, dm link

Perhaps he is going to set a trend for new style healthy eating

Sharti

I wouldn't mind he only got the word artisan from me and mumsnet cos I showed him the artisan slippers thread.

Years ago my mum got a sleeping pill from a friend when we were travelling on a ferry overnight.

She took it faffed for a bit and then cleaned her teeth with mycel athlete foot cream .
I still laugh at this now.

OMG, I can't breathe I'm laughing so much. "What fucking recipe starts with string as an ingredient" love it!

Absolutely brilliant! Hope he never has the cheek to say he doesn't like anything you've cooked. Can you imagine "Didn't really enjoy the Sunday Roast this week dear"

Thank you so much for this - I so needed it

The children keep asking me what's wrong as I'm laughing so much!

This is the funniest thing I have ever read!!! Artisan scotch egg. Classic!

I am bent double with laughter at artisan scotch egg!!

OP I was in The Works today and saw these bird seed cake kits at the till and thought they would be the perfect gift for your DH

My OH just walked in on me snorting with laughter so I tried to explain why. He looked at me blankly so I tried again. Nope, still not getting it. Hmm, I'm slightly worried that he's now thinking "damn, why didn't i think of that? I know we've got some fatballs in the back of the shed somewhere . . . "

This is absolutely brilliant!

Pmsl
And I thought mine was bad for eating a bowl of funny tasting onion rings and not realising it was actually calamari

I love Termagant's poem. My DP is a Scoffyfucker, he eats everything in sight, and to him I dedicate this version.

This Is Just to Say

I have eaten
the leftover pasta bake
that was in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for your lunch tomorrow

Forgive me
it was delicious
so carby
and so cheesy

Has anybody Tweeted this yet? I think I might... Tweet...geddit?

this is a brilliant thread. So much to enjoy.

Love Termagant and Bluestocking's poems (thinking of changing my name to Martinet just to be in their gang).

Love artisan scotch eggs (the new Greggs sausage roll, surely)

It's all reminiscent of the brilliant swearing and cakes thread.

OP I'm guessing it wouldn't be much of a stretch for your DH to eat a version of the Blue Peter dog food cake they used to make for the pets' birthdays?