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Original poster

To Kick These People Out #3 - the countdown begins

999 replies

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 10/02/2014 21:30

The Beginning

The Middle

The end?

So... Long story short... There are horses, soon there should not be (I'm not good at summaries, they make me sound unreasonable).

We have a date! This Saturday! The horses should be taken away to pastures new, so we can roam the meadow in gingham dresses (dh looks good in a gingham dress) and we can have FuckYouFestivals to our heart's content.

There will be choirs and drums and bands and weapons and stackable goats and so much more!

Anyone who's read the threads knows I love a lurker. I can you see you out there. Go on, jump in while the thread's all new and shiny. You know you want to Wink

OP posts:
PedantMarina · 18/02/2014 16:55

isisisis, sorry to hear that after three of these threads, your sanity is still intact. Clearly we're not working hard enough.

Must do better.

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 18/02/2014 16:56

Pedant, I'm not sure anyone who wants to attend FYF has full possession of all marbles Grin

OP posts:
PedantMarina · 18/02/2014 17:28

you're right, FYC. indeed, that's probably the benchmark. I can almost hear NHS manuals being updated around the nation.

MissHobart · 18/02/2014 18:50

They are very clever, cute and trainable! They're like more obedient cats! Only of they're brought up right though and kept as house pets. They do stink though! Grin

I don't have any bit have always wanted some! Smile

Jux · 18/02/2014 19:22

I Looooove the smell of ferrets! They are so cute and funny! Just watch them playong, they're brilliant!! Absolutely mental! Imagine very long kittens with absolutely no fear. Wonderful creatures.

Tree goats! I now know what has been missing from my world! Grin

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 18/02/2014 19:33

Pedant Grin as they should.

MissH, it's the stink that really puts me off

Jux, you really like the smell?!

I hope you all realise that now I can never show this thread to dh, and I'm going to have to keep you and your ferret loving ways far away from him and his gingham dress at all times.

Oh god, you've just got me googling "ferret in gingham dress"

FYF is a new mental illness I think.

OP posts:
enriquetheringbearinglizard · 18/02/2014 21:00

Ahem, I prefer to think of the as a charming group rather than potential inpatients Hmm I think DH and DCs would agree that all of this is pretty par for the course and there's nothing wrong with them.

In our house it's not talk of goats or ferrets it's a raging debate about the scarf
DH will insist on calling it the horse scarf whereas I keep correcting to 'No, it's a no-horse scarf'
There are, however, quite obvious visible flaws in my argument Blush

mistlethrush · 18/02/2014 21:48

enrique - of course, that's why they need diagonal red lines through each of the horses...

Ferrets.. I had one for a bit - it bit me (quite a lot) and was smelly and the dog was very jealous then it escaped from its hutch when a friend of the family was looking after it when we were on holiday.

PrinceDoshaFrodaNigeria · 18/02/2014 23:52

I find this thread. I am very hoppy that you should evict peasants from your sovereign land. I am displeased that you sould then populate your land with unwashed lesbians and amateur musicians and stackable (non-edible) goats and cheesecake, wich is purely a device for the satisfaction of women, whci is not acceptable int he sight of god.

Oh and Vikings, who, as polytheists are not acceptable to my regime.

not PedantMarina taking a break from the PIL Perspective fred not at all

PedantMarina · 19/02/2014 06:31

wanders in, whistles innocently<

Oh, good morning everybody!

Morgause · 19/02/2014 06:43

Brew all round.

FuschiaChrisAndNigeria · 19/02/2014 07:42

I am relieved to be seeing some sense being said on this thread at last! Stackable goats are not the goodest goats for the show, and it is not right that you womens are making such plans without your husbands' instructions.

I have a proposition to make right the show! My name is Prince Hermanov and I am looking to be buying a field for to build a castle. I have 5 million dollars to spend on the land. I am pleased there are no horses now. This was a done well. Horses do not like building noises.

Unfortunately there has been a terrible mistake in my country and my money has been set to only transfer to abroad accounts! This is terrible injustice and makes everybody very sad. If you would be liking to be helpful (and I see you is very kindly and giving and god will love you for being a generous and kind giving lady), I could transfer a hundrety-million dollar into your bank account. You will then give back 80 million dollar for building the castle, and keep the 9 million dollar left for buying the field and for your trouble.

You are good and generous person who will be helping most kindly.

There is one other small problem. Because this is the internet and it can be difficult for me to trust anyone after giving 5 million for a field before and the persons keeping all the money!! I know this is not being who you are. You are good and honest. But to make sure for the safety of all that money I will be sending, I will need you to show me your bank account is real by sending a small amount to my place first. I am banking with Western Union. The smallest payment my bank will take is 5000 dollar - this is not much money to me.

Please be sending me your happy, generous offer to sell the field soon and I will send my account details.

I am very in pleasure that we will be doing this business and making a beautiful home in sunny Wales, England.

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/02/2014 07:55

Enrique! I've been calling it the horse scarf Blush you're quite right, it's the "symbolically no real horse scarf, symbolised by lots of symbolically present horse images"

Mistle, that's what I think they will be like. They will bite me and smell and be sneaky. They look sneaky.

Prince Dosha, Grin you might have made my day. Which fred is this?! I must hunt it down.

Pedant, fancy seeing you here!

Morgause Brew gratefully received.

FuschiaChrisAndNigeria, gosh what a kind and generous offer! I can't see why I wouldn't accept!

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 19/02/2014 09:23

They are incredibly cute when they are small and have decided to wrap themselves around your neck (but somewhat worrying to those of us with longish hair... how ever will I rid my hair of ferrets? (somewhat larger and more obvious problem than nits I dare say)). DS would have happily adopted one from Pennywell Farm a couple of summers ago. But he would also have adopted a miniature pig (not that small when fully grown) or two, a rat or two and some mice, along with the guinea pigs and chicks and ducklings...

I would have hens again if I had a field - I had them as pets (bantams) when I was 10 - they were (on the whole) lovely (our first cockerell was horrid, but the second one was a real gentleman and he looked after a brood of chicks when their mother got ill for several days until one of the other hens took them over - I think she felt sorry for the chicks being expected to 'brood' up on the perch at night!)

Pedant, I have regularly misread your name as 'pendant' which perhaps is apt given the hanging around you appear to be doing at the moment Wink

PedantMarina · 19/02/2014 10:36

Mistle - fnarr fnarr. May I infer also that I am a gem?

FYC - have PMed you.

mistlethrush · 19/02/2014 11:50

Pendant... either that or a chandelier Wink

FuschiaChrisAndNigeria · 19/02/2014 13:40

Mistle, I quite like the idea of hair ferrets :)

Now chickens is an idea I can get behind. Although they do make quite a mess. I love getting up in the morning to fresh eggs.

I'll leap out of bed, run to the window where my stacked goats will be looking in, holding the day's paper, run downstairs to find dh cooking me pancakes made with freshly laid eggs.

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/02/2014 13:40

Oops, that was obviously me and not FuschiaChrisAndNigeria

OP posts:
enriquetheringbearinglizard · 19/02/2014 13:52

Hello Hello

Nice to see you again Marina, noticed you hadn't been around

Anyone need my date of birth and mother's maiden name or anything?

Colleague's wondering what I'm laughing at, apart from the posts it's the cartoon in my head of vigorously conditioning and combing ferrets out of hairstyle after hairstyle Grin

Original poster
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/02/2014 14:00

Enrique, it's when you think you've finally got rid of them, and then they you are, on the school run, and one just pops out from behind your ear Blush

Mortifying!

OP posts:
FuschiaChrisAndNigeria · 19/02/2014 14:03

Enrique, that would be most appropriate!

Please send all monies as soon as possible. I have speaken to my lawyer and he is very excited that I have found someone so good and honest and trustworthy and he thinks I should pay you even more! So in return for you giving your money fast, I will pay you extra million. This is good for us all when I have all money but no use of it.

God bless you

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 19/02/2014 15:02

Beloved FuschiaChrisAndNigeria

I am just so pleased to be of assistance and grateful that you have chosen me.
My date of birth is April 1st 1904 and my mother's maiden name was Fest.
The late Mrs Ingrid Fenella Yvonne Fest, rest her soul.

I am so looking forward to receiving the millionty pounds, which will be very useful. I'm building a shelter for homeless horses in my back garden and inviting all comers, so the money will be very handy.
bollardsIam

Chris.
Worst for us was having checked and checked again, including at the clinic, we went on holiday to Spain and low and behold stowaways Angry That was fun, trying to acquire something to sort them out with Confused

mistlethrush · 19/02/2014 16:40

You took ferrets to Spain with you enrique??? I'm surprised you got through customs with those!

PedantMarina · 19/02/2014 17:08

Hi guys. I need cheering up. One of my teeth is now not coming to FYFest (unless I make it into a - ahem - pendant) (see what I did there, mistle), and it was a big f-off molar and everything. The anaesthetic is just wearing off now. Sad Took some pretty good painkiller, but until it kicks in, can you please cheer me up?

mistlethrush · 19/02/2014 17:15

Ow, sorry to hear that! It was tooth ache (which turned out to be sinuses instead when I managed to get an emergency dentist appointment on 2nd of Jan) some years ago that resulted in me trying cocodamol and ending up allergic to both paracetamol and codeine - I do hope that you don't suffer the same fate as its a real nuisance! DS lost a canine the other day and I have contemplated getting it made into a pendant as its such a lovely little tooth but I think that DH would not be in the same room if I did that...