To Kick These People Out #3 - the countdown begins

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

The Beginning

The Middle

The end?

So... Long story short... There are horses, soon there should not be (I'm not good at summaries, they make me sound unreasonable).

We have a date! This Saturday! The horses should be taken away to pastures new, so we can roam the meadow in gingham dresses (dh looks good in a gingham dress) and we can have FuckYouFestivals to our heart's content.

There will be choirs and drums and bands and weapons and stackable goats and so much more!

Anyone who's read the threads knows I love a lurker. I can you see you out there. Go on, jump in while the thread's all new and shiny. You know you want to

You can tell I'm nervous by the fact that I've just been researching shipping forecasts.

They always remind me of being a small child leaping on my parents in the morning. They always had radio 4 playing. I always liked the shopping forecast. They have a soothing style.

The actual forecast for these parts is "squally showers" it's a lovely turn of phrase.

Yes, live updates are the way forward. I am making a cheesecake today in solidarity - unfortunately it has not got Toblerone in it, and I shall be preventing the cat from licking it, so obvs is not a true FYF cheesecake!

Delivering for live No Horse Day updates...

Another hug
Another snifter

Goes off to look at shipping forecasts...

Chris did you see the shipping forecast episode of Black Books - very funny

Ida, I was about to write "can I lick your cheesecake" and then it occurred to me that that sounds extremely creepy

Debbie! Hurray! Now I've promised them I bet I get distracted by something shiny.

If I do disappear it's probably because RL has come to the door. I don't know if she will or not. We shall see.

I hope you appreciate that the only window with a field view is awkward and will mean I have to stand and stare for the duration whilst ducking down whenever anyone looks towards the house

Champagne is chilled and waiting. Well I say champagne... Fizzy wine.

Misc :)

Ida, I did! Love black books!

"Fran! Fran! Do you want me to come?!"

Delurking to say hope it all goes smoothly today, really hope you have your field back by this evening .

Just snorted though Amish Paradise and inadvertent marmalade and all the FYF planning, and I would have eaten the cheesecake.

Dogger - Severe gale force 9 veering southerly imminent then veering southwesterly and increasing storm force 10 soon

Fisher - Southeasterly gale force 8 imminent increasing severe gale force 9 soon, veering southwesterly and increasing storm force 10 later

FYF - Squally showers veering cake wards. Horse movement Imminent - increasing drunkenness later. Chance of meadow increasing mumsnet force 10 later

Xxx

Supervisor, your name is exactly what we need :) welcome to what I bloody hope is the end of this madness.

9.59am horse in field appears to be trying to hide in a tree. Companion horse nowhere to be seen (probably also hiding). Weather -very much squally showers

Unlurking to say have read this all the way through and I am hoping for a positive conclusion! (Less than half an hour!) I like the shipping forecasts too :)

Chris - my DH can turn even the most innocuous sentence into a euphemism, he would actually combust at "can I lick your cheesecake"!

Misc that was awesome! You are brilliant!

Revolt :) thank you!! Oh god is it only half an hour?!

10.10am someone is here! But there's a tree in just the wrong spot hiding where the box and gate is! Argh! Anyway. Horse is out of tree and both horses are now by the gate.

Why was the horse in the tree - was it blown there by the gale?

Ida, must have been :)

There's movement already ahead of schedule?
I'm here, scarfless, for support.

Mumsnet Gale Force gawd knows what here, hail as pig as marbles double bouncing up off the ground. It's awful.

I have a bit of a story to tell that the cheesecake licking cat reminded me of, hold on.

Weather - huge downpour has just hit!

Oh FFS! The horses have just been fed! Why oh why take away the reason for them to get on the box?! I bet only UW is down there.

Enrique

True story.
My mum won't ever eat Haagan Dazs icecream because she swears blind that one day in Waitrose she saw two women take a tub from the freezer, open it, LICK IT and then put it back

10.23 car pull into my drive and I hear shouts across to the field of "can I park in here"

Muffled response

Car pulls off drive again.

This is boring? Right?

Enrique that's just weird!

Oh why are they doing stupid things?!

Arggghhhhh for you x

They fed the horses? how bizarre.

Sorry, story wasn't great, it passes a bit of time though.

I was hoping there might be a bit of virtual toast with inadvertent marmalade on offer? Could use our own toaster but only one side works.

Or has the inadvertent marmalade gone in the brandy bottle now?

Misc maybe it's all part of the plan? Maybe there's a mild sedative in it? Maybe it's the right thing to do?

Enrique, I'd like brandy flavoured inadvertent marmalade on toast please :)