What on earth is inside my pear?

[HairyPotter]

Bleugh!

I was eating in the the dark and didn't notice until it was too late.

[WowserBowser]

Welcome oldestmonster

[NorbertDentressangle]

Step away slowly from the veg box.....they've sent the evil potatoes

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

[tangledupinblue]

And to think that up until now my only grudge against pears was that they have an aftertaste similar to semen.....

[cheesecakemom]

Oh no, that looks terrible. I tried peeling an orange by biting into it first and it was all black inside. It took me a long time to eat oranges again.
A similar thing happened with some big red apples, not I cut everything in half before eating.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Saw the earlier post about the worker getting sacked for placing his man fat in the food. I am convinced that last year I ate a salad starter in a restaurant in Poland that had semen dressing on it. It looked, smelled and TASTED like spunk. Only problem is, I was there with my mum. "This tastes a bit funny," I explained when she asked me why I was just pushing the leaves around the plate. "What do you mean - funny?"

Well, I could hardly tell her of my suspicions after that. I could just imagine her horrified face: "but - how do you KNOW what it tastes like?"

And then a very awkward moment would have ensued.

A lot of wine was quickly necked. The waiter took our plates away while asking if we had enjoyed the starter. I SAID YES! Why did I do that? I bet he went into the kitchen and had a good old laugh with the rest of the staff.

The rest of the meal was lovely, in fact it was so nice that we went back the next night. (I know, I know - slightly insane). I steered clear of salad dressings and white sauce and all was fine.

[ErrolTheDragon]

I do hope that the poster CuttedUpPear finds this thread... for one thing it could provide her with a scary name come Halloween, CuttedUpPearMouse maybe.

[GrumpyMoo]

Laughed till I cried.....

...then the kids came to see what made mummy sound insane laugh so hard.

I love Mumsnet.

[SelectAUserName]

Ave just read the entire thread, screamed (thanks Thumb ), laughed, trembled and practically vommed. Four seasons in one thread.

Have you burned the bin and salted the ground it stood on yet, Hairy? Is your DH displaying signs of wanting to eat your brains uncharacteristic strangeness? Have the That's A Shame veg box co. revealed their Alien Overlord master plan? Most importantly, where is the Crumbleline? I have a sinking feeling I'm going to be north of it and I'm too fat young to die. Especially to die at the paws of Alien Mutant Zombie Mouse Pear Babies.

On the plus side, my Diet Coke 'n' Mini Cheddars diet is finally going to pay off.

[SelectAUserName]

Have. Not Ave. Although given that the Alien Mutant Zombie Mouse Pear Invasion is upon us, maybe it is time to start praying...

[WowserBowser]

Ooh Classics!! Well done HairyPearyPotter

[SybilRamkin]

WTF, tangled?? Aftertaste of semen? What variety of pears have you been eating??

[Poplokndropit]

I think it's an old pear that grew inside or gree first and the other grew over it... I have a spammer version versionin my past right now 🤢 not as dark has a full stem like u see on others little bumpsand some seed looking things at the base of stem touching fruit. Safe to say my other pears are getting trashed because i can't look at this anymore

[ChristineBaskets]

This thread is five years old ☠️