What on earth is inside my pear?

[HairyPotter]

Bleugh!

I was eating in the the dark and didn't notice until it was too late.

[FootieOnTheTelly]

I would stay away from the bin if I were you.

[Gracelo]

It reminds me a bit of Ustilago maydis which is a pathogen of maize. It causes maize kernels to go black and swell up massively a bit like the core here has swollen up and gone black. The infected kernels are a delicacy in Mexico.
I'd prefer the alien invasion hypothesis though.

[oldestmonster]

I joined mumsnet today (newbie tremble) and this thread is the first I've read. So glad I joined! Thank you for a day full of laughs.

[Sunshineonsea]

gracelo people eat these things!

[FootieOnTheTelly]

Blimey, OldestMonster. You are in for a big disappointment if you think this thread is typical of Mumsnet. This thread is mumsnet at its best, most of it is drivel.


(Although the 'Am I a stalker' thread that is running at the moment is brilliant too)

[Sunshineonsea]

And the crumble line has failed
I'm in the south east
Today ds and I went to morrisons and he upon browsing the fruit section he asked for a pear he has never ever asked for a pear in his life, not even tasted one
obviously the school has sneaked pear juice into the children!
All is lost I tell you

[Sunshineonsea]

I can't even write and grammarise properly I'm in such a state of shock

[FootieOnTheTelly]

HERE is a Linky to the Stalker thread if anyone's interested who hasn't already seen it. 'Tis well funny.

[Sunshineonsea]

And where is hairy? it's dark now, have the veg company delivered the new box?

[Misspixietrix]

Footie .

[Gracelo]

I have eaten these things sunsshineonsea not in Mexico but in Munich during a genetics class at Uni. We found some on a field trip. It actually tasted ok, it's a bit like eating oysters, you have to try to forget how it looks.

[oldestmonster]

Thanks, FunnyOnTheTelly, for the link. I did think that mn couldn't all be as good as this but these threads will be worth waiting for. Rationing will be required however as I've spent a lot of work time today on here.

[LouSend]

Hmm, Hairy checked in at 15.54 to assure us she was ok and the mutant pear baby alien mouse was still in her bin, but how do we know?

She could tell us anything to stop mass hysteria, all the while knowing she's now one of them.

[LouSend]

Welcome, oldestmonster.

Check out classics for some brilliant threads.

[oldestmonster]

Thank you LouSend.

[HairyPotter]

Ok, zombie vampires have just been with this weeks veg box.

I am making the littlest Hairy unpack it At first glance it appears safe.

[Allalonenow]

I think there will be a very big moth curled up inside that pepper, waiting for you to release it. Don't cut open the pepper when you are alone in the kitchen. Keep safe.

[Misspixietrix]

Thats what they want you to think Hairy. That red one looks suspect.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

My money is on the leek!! Hide now

[PedantMarina]

making your youngest offspring unpack the mutant zombie vampire fruit?!? I am in AWE of you. Peary

of course you can just make another and it's not like you invested too much in hir already

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

I fear it's too late that box from the ' That'sAShameFruit'n'Veg,co.uk ' is not Peary's

Where's the parsley?
The carrot?
The celery?
The red-topped mini cos?

( potatoes, leeks , not for guineas)

apple, dark green cabbage , ok
oranges, might
green pepper, mine wouldn't

They are testing her. Hairy would say "I didn't order this"
Peary would say "Mmmm scrummy. I'll open a tin of Russian Herring and make a yummy snack"

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Welcome to Mumsnet, oldestmonster - it is a great place, full of wonderful people with barking-mad senses of humour. I fit right in.

If you have a moment to be serious - and especially if you knit or crochet - could you check out the Woolly Hug threads, or even our website here to see some of the wonderful blankets that MNers have made for bereaved MN families, and for sick children.