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Original poster

What on earth is inside my pear?

389 replies

HairyPotter · 04/02/2014 07:59

Bleugh! Envy

I was eating in the the dark and didn't notice until it was too late.

What on earth is inside my pear?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
CosyTeaBags · 05/02/2014 10:24

I think the damage is done, the pear spores have been released into the fruit bowl, and the rest will soon turn into pear zombies, like this.

Yesterday I went to do my food shop. I hovered over the pears, thought of this thread, and couldn't bring myself to buy any. Hairy you're singlehandedly responsible for a rapid decline in pear sales!!

What on earth is inside my pear?
zzzzz · 05/02/2014 10:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/02/2014 10:31

It's not just the pears though.
If Hairy got a fruit'n'veg basket from the " Oh What a Shame " Fruit'n'Veg Company, who knows what kind of contamination could have taken place.

1: that's DH, myself and the guinea-pigs scuppered (all vegetarian)
2: my DS might be right (won't let fruit or veg cross his lips, except Scottish Salad )

Mignonette · 05/02/2014 10:32

Alys Fowler is on the case isn't she?

TeWiSavesTheDay · 05/02/2014 10:32

I chopped up all our remaining peats for a crumble last night. Just in case.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 05/02/2014 10:33

*pears

zzzzz · 05/02/2014 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/02/2014 10:35

Blush it's oh, That's a Shame , not What a Shame

(probably a completely different thing)

LouSend · 05/02/2014 10:35

Hairy! HAIRY!

Where are you? I've had a sleepless night guarding the house against mutant pear baby mice.

I've taken Dd to school but have now realised the school is NORTH of here!

And today's pudding is jam roly poly and custard; not crumble.

Please report back at tell us the mutant pear baby mouse is still in the bin. Or better still, that you burned it, put the ashes in a lead lined box, and dropped it into the sea several miles offshore.

Please.

zzzzz · 05/02/2014 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Drunkendonut · 05/02/2014 10:42

Crying laughing at this thread!

Mignonette · 05/02/2014 10:43

I made Pear, stem ginger and golden sultana muffins before I read this thread.

They are lovely.

Yep- Alys Fowler has tweeted a photo and link to the thread. I love Alys.

LouSend · 05/02/2014 10:44

zzzzz would that work with hobnobs, do you think? I do like hobnobs.

zzzzz · 05/02/2014 10:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz · 05/02/2014 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ExcuseTypos · 05/02/2014 10:50

I will never look at a pear the same ever again.

LouSend · 05/02/2014 10:57

Definitely zzzzz. I have a box of m&s chocolate biscuits, a box of mc vities and some other caramelly type ones. I'll just keep eating, shall I, and check in at intervals to let you all know how it's going? For the good of the community, of course, and not because I'm looking for an excuse to stuff my face all day.

Original poster
HairyPotter · 05/02/2014 11:06

Brief moment of panic this morning. Woke up at 7am and realised DH was not asleep next to me, or anywhere in the house Shock This is unprecedented. He lies in bed the the last possible moment usually.

Obviously he had been taken to the Mothership by his people, the zombie pear mice babies

Then I remembered he was leaving at 3am to catch the ferry to Mull. Be afraid islanders, the zombie apocalypse is coming your way....

The veg box people will be here later tonight, I will be on the lookout for anything sinister, mind you, the pear was disguised as a real one so this may be tricky. I am soo tempted to send them a link to this thread Grin

I tried to send photos to Kew Gardens for expert analysis, but they don't do anything via email or phone. I am happy to post it to anyone who is close by. Pm me your address and I'll stick it in a Jiffy bag if you could drop it off for the boffins to look at.

I can't work twitter, can someone smarter link it for me? Am very impressed that anyone beyond me was interested in it tbh.

OP posts:
HawkeyeInChaos · 05/02/2014 11:08

I was reading this thread whilst my baby wears eats his apple and pear puree.

What have I done? Do I now have a alien mutant zombie baby?

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/02/2014 11:09

Mull you say?

Better warm them to cut off the borders :0 after he's left of course

28 days later anyone?

FairPhyllis · 05/02/2014 11:11

So I take it that as well as having a Zombie Plan and a Cow Plan, I now have to have a Mutant Alien Baby Pear Mouse Plan too?

Sigh

At least the flooding means everyone in the South West will be safely isolated from the mainland when our Pear Mouse overlords arrive to colonise us.

RoseRedder · 05/02/2014 11:17

it's a pear drop in a winter jumper

catsrus · 05/02/2014 12:27

Here you go hairy
twitter.com/AlysFowler

She says she's stumped Hmm do you think she's part of the plot? I'm sure the mutant veg aliens will have had lots of opportunities to take her over....

Thumbwitch · 05/02/2014 12:29

So have you retrieved the specimen from the bin again for investigative purposes, Hairy? that's dedicated, that is.

You could send it to a horticulture lecturer - here is a list of the UCAS-covered colleges that do horticulture degrees but I think I got that you are in Scotland, so you might have to look at Scottish colleges instead.
Your pear could end up pickled as a specimen of unknown origin!
It could be given your name - Hairyus pearus disease...
You could be FAMOUS! Grin

Misspixietrix · 05/02/2014 13:28

Has OP not come back? .

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