The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

[daughterofafarmer]

My friend said this utter gem last week...

'I'm buying DS a 2nd pair of Wellingtons as I don't have an Aga to help dry out the wet pair....'

Another friend

'I don't think one should children until you can afford childcare'....Que me nearly spitting out my drink...

[Thurlow]

These are brilliant.

I was once asked, very earnestly, by a girl at university if Jesus came before or after the dinosaurs? I struggled to keep a straight face for that one.

Playing Trivial Pursuit with a very clever friend.
Me: "What's the largest archipelago in the world?"
Friend: "Um.... Cambridge?"

[MissPlumBroughtALadder]

choccyjules I just can't work yours out - can you explain?

[ReginaldBlinker]

OnaPromise

I used to think that too until a couple of years ago... My friend was absolutely aghast that I didn't know. "How do you think you can wee with a tampon in then?!" "Erm... they're made of special material?"

I'd forgotten about that...

[BalloonSlayer]

Um Feckoffcup Transylvania isn't a country, it's a region of Romania.

[Coffeenowplease]

I had a friend think wee came from her clitoris..She was most confused her DP paid so much attention to where she weed from....

[LaurieFairyCake]

I used to be a waitress and convinced some Americans that haggis's had 3 legs which made then easy to catch.

[Coffeenowplease]

The bone density in many black people is largely true but it isnt the reason for the lack of black competitors in swimming events.

www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/magazine/black-men-can-swim/#.Uk2ihNKsiSo

Interesting read.

[Iwaswatchingthat]

SIL "we just don't get depressed in our family cos we just wouldn't tolerate it."

[ViciousVampireGuineaPig]

I was in 7th grade (am American) when my teacher went over the world map. Apparently Siberia is it's own country, and the whole of the UK is England- apart from Northern Ireland of course, which isn't in 'England' and is part of Ireland.

[TGSmum]

Poster above reminded me of an ex boyfriend. He used to open tins of cat food (for cat) and wonder why the unrefrigerated cans were crawling with maggots a week later "how did they climb up there"? He had no idea they were baby flies. He was Australian which made it even weirder.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

DH, after studying a painting of the ark for a long, loooong time: "There aren't any fish in it."

No, he wasn't joking. I checked.

[carabos]

When DS2 was born, the midwife handed him to me and I said to DH "ooh it's a boy". He said "how do you know?" . He made it worse by saying that he thought we had to wait for the midwife to tell us and I was "jumping the gun". . He still doesn't get why I think that's funny .

[sparklekitty]

Onapromise - that reminds me of an ex who once asked why women bother to use tampons as it must be such a pain taking them out every time you need to go to the loo. After much we finally worked out that he thought everything, I mean everything came out your fanjo!

[VeremyJyle]

When DD was born days before our first wedding anniversary SIL said So you must've known when you got married you were already expecting...

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

When I was 15, my (male) friend asked how women coped with periods and how come we avoided having them in public. It turned out he thought they lasted about a minute - just one big gory whoosh, like a Geyser.

[stinkingbishop]

DP at an antenatal class, when asked how long it might take each time I had to BF the twins. He veered between one minute and ten so settled on five...

[CoolItKittens]

DH a couple of summers ago. "You know next door's apple tree, has it always grown apples?" No, it used to be pears. Of course it has you numpty.

[CoolItKittens]

carabos your DH has just given me the biggest laugh of the day!

[2Old2BeABluePeterPresenter]

This weekend just gone.

Me: DH can't eat the pizza because of all the cheese.
DM: But it's mild cheese 2Old.
Me: And?
DM: Well it's lower in fat than mature cheese.
Whole family

She's quite intelligent but genuinely thought the more mature the cheese the higher the fat content.

[InsertBoringName]

A bit shocking but a normally lovely and intelligent friend of mine told me she firmly believes cancer survival rates are influenced by a positive state of mind. That mentally 'fighting it' will cure you. Obviously the people who died (like my 51 year old stepmother) just couldn't give a crap and lay down and 'let' cancer kill them

[ALMOSTMRSG]

I have a friend who is convinced that mixed gender twins can be identical. She will argue that she is correct. ????

[garlicdoughballs]

My friend didn't realise that Reindeers were actually real animals and was shocked when she saw some at a zoo. She thought they were made up for children in Christmas stories.

[headsspinningforachange]

Their are some proper dim-wits (sp) their

[Erebus]

A friend of mine was driving her 2nd year DD back from Hampshire to uni in Cardiff, where she was doing Law. She is now on track to becoming a Solicitor. Upon crossing the Severn, the DD says "Mum, what is that funny language they plaster on all the signs here?".... Second Year.