The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

[daughterofafarmer]

My friend said this utter gem last week...

'I'm buying DS a 2nd pair of Wellingtons as I don't have an Aga to help dry out the wet pair....'

Another friend

'I don't think one should children until you can afford childcare'....Que me nearly spitting out my drink...

[FruOla]

Your secret is safe with me

[Clandy]

Haha he will never know! Plenty of Internet bribes sent your way! Thanks for the heads up

[FruOla]

Clandy, you will have to buy Punk and me gin/wine/cake/chocolates/, not to tell your DH about this

[NooMyx]

I don't know if this is ridiculous or hysterical, but it's one of the first times I remember really realising how differently other people can view stuff; like their minds just don't quite operate on the same wave length as yours.

My friend at school was otherwise very smart and talented, but her strongest side wasn't maths. I used to try to help her out before exams, (she did the same for me in languages, we were exciting people). Once I was trying to explain her some rule or another with as simple terms as I could think of. I was trying to explain the logic behind the actual rule so that it'd make sense to her and make it easier for her to remember.

She listened for a while and threw her books across the room and shouted at me, because I was apparently lying trying to convince her there was logic in maths. She was convinced maths was nothing but arbitrary rules to memorise, completely made up, that you just have to memorise and that have no real world applications at all. Being the exciting people we were, we ended up having a row over this... She even got back to me later, having talked to her dad (a very successful and educated man), who'd also agreed that maths was the most illogical of all school subjects, and she was better off just memorising things right before the exam just to pass.

It turned out my dad had actually tutored her dad in maths in their youth... He did something of a facepalm when I told him about the whole thing. I come from a nerdy stock...

[Clandy]

Well blow me! (No pun intended) aibu to not tell dh this poppet of information....

[PunkHedgehog]

Sorry, that should read 'a single nostril in many species.'

Baleen whales have both nostrils leading to their blowhole; toothed whales have one to the blowhole and the other just winds round inside the skull with no connection to the outside.

[PunkHedgehog]

Whales and dolphins are anatomically unusual in quite a lot of ways. In most mammals both the nose and the mouth lead to the lungs (with the tubes from each connecting in the back of the throat), in whales and dolphins the mouth doesn't connect to the lungs at all, only to the stomach. They breathe only through their blowhole, which is in fact a single nostril*.

This means they don't risk drowning when they eat and also makes them the easiest animals for a vet to put a stomach tube into - no risk of it going the wrong way.

• What happened to the second nostril is also pretty fascinating, but I don't want to complicate things too much.

[Clandy]

Through their mouths...? No? As in they breath in through their mouths and out through their blow holes? Damn if I'm wrong ill never hear the end of it

[FruOla]

What Punk said. How do you think whales breathe, Clandy?

[PunkHedgehog]

Whales do breathe through their blowholes.

[CalamityKate]

I've posted this before:

Me and DH in the cash and carry looking for fruit drink.....

Him: hmm....so where are the Jay Two Ohs then? This place is so big....ooh, there's a sign for Jay Twenties! They're probably nearby....

Me: oh haha. Very funny.

Him: What?? What?

Me:

Him: WHAT???? [pause] Ohhhhhhh.....yeah......

[Clandy]

Dh thought whales breath in and out of their blow holes!

He also asked why the monkey didn't have a willy cos it's a girl!!

He also called the waiter "babe" when he gave him his food

[LookingThroughTheFog]

My sister is a frickin' genius, of that type that can get a PhD as easily as other people breathe, but that occasionally lacks a certain amount of common sense.

The first time she ever looked under a car bonnet, she came out with 'Oh God! The floor's missing!'

Later, when reading about adoption from China; 'They're definitely going to need a translator when the baby starts to talk. Or do you think that they make you learn Chinese first?'

She's always been streets ahead of me with all academic stuff, and I went all out and got good, but not exceptional grades. It's only quite recently that she admits that she's also jealous of me for being able to do 'normal things' like change a lightbulb or fix the boiler or produce a meal where all items are ready at the same time.

[KittiesInsane]

Phoenix, I actually snorted tea at that one! would be v fab name for horse though

[Thistledew]

Two middle-aged women on the train opposite me today actually asked me "Which is bigger, a millimetre or a centimetre?". They were very grateful when I imparted the useful information that you get 10 millimetres to a centimetre.

[Phoenixwoman]

I thought Going is Good to Soft was the name of a horse.

[Awks]

My colleague asked me if when you moved house, you took the bathroom suite with you. Idiot.

[Strumpetron]

I was in hospital on the weekend.

One woman was sat in the waiting room reading her book, two drunk women sat across from her.

Drunk woman 1: Ey love whats up with you?

Woman reading: I've hurt my foot

Drunk woman 2: Oo yeah it's swollen isn't it.


The woman had UGG boots on.

[AlwaysChasingRainbows]

My rather Dim dsis -

We were having a random discussion about Cowboys & Indians as you do .

Dsis- Wouldn't it be weird if their were Cowboys & Indians alive now

Me- erm what do you mean

Dsis- Well what would they do/be like

Me- Have you heard of Native Americans

Dsis- Yes

Me- They are what used to be referred to as 'Indians'

Dsis- No they aren't they died out hundreds of years ago

Me- Oh ok of course they did


I insist she must of been banged/dropped on the head alot as a child

My Df even studied Native Americans at University & had a degree etc so its not like she hadn't heard about any of it

[FruOla]

[FastWindow]

No just really small. Hahaha.

[FruOla]

... and not very sociable?!

[FastWindow]

It was a very posh snail...

[FruOla]

FastWindow - gastropod

[FastWindow]

Gastropub. Gahhh.