The utterly ridiculous / hysterical comments your friends come out with, in which you seriously question if they live on the same planet as you...[lighttheart]

[daughterofafarmer]

My friend said this utter gem last week...

'I'm buying DS a 2nd pair of Wellingtons as I don't have an Aga to help dry out the wet pair....'

Another friend

'I don't think one should children until you can afford childcare'....Que me nearly spitting out my drink...

I think the shingles/chicken pox thing is that the virus remains dormant in your nervous system and at any point (often when stressed) it could flare up into shingles. I don't think you need to be re-exposed, or that re-exposure increases the chance of shingles.

I have a friend who has been a christian for years and went off to study theology, where he discovered that the 3 days between good friday and the resurrection does not mean that it happened on Easter Monday. (That is why the sunday is called easter day...)

I had shingles when I was 9. Medical marvel of that surgery. I had three doctors come and stare at me because they weren't sure it could be shingles. I was obviously a very stressed 9 year old...

If you have shingles and still at the infectious stage someone else can catch chicken pox from you but it doesn't work the other way around.

should point out that it isn't only stress that can trigger it!

because it is a secondary thing, which you get after haveing had chicken pox, usually years ago, it is unusual in kids!

I had the whole group of gap year volunteers telling screaming at me that Bloody Mary was Mary Queen of Scots. No people. She really wasn't. You can shout as loud as you like, you'll still be wrong. The fact that I'd just done 2 solid years of A level history - 16th century England and Europe meant nothing apparently. This group included people from some of the best private schools in the country.

And it took me a long time to realise that Jesus wasn't born on Christmas Day.

Girls in my class at school: You can't die from appendicitis

My lovely gay friend got trhough a biology degree without realising that women have 3 holes. He's currently training to be a Dr!

A really close friend didn't understand the BC and the AD. She was sure that man started with Jesus...

A promiscuous friend of mine insisting that he did not need to use condoms for his many sexual liasons as there was no way he would contract HIV as all the girls he went with were local!

steppemum I can understand the Easter confusion: three days is a modern easy version of what it says in the Bible which is "on the third day." The first day being Good Friday, etc.

balloon - well I could understand it in principle, except he had been a regular church goer for years, just wonder what he thought they were all celebrating on the sunday, and why there wasn't a celebration on the monday

at Nectar cards not attracting bees and the season ticket to Autschwitz. This thread is cheering me up.

redexpat you can die from appendicitis if your appendix rupture which can lead to septicaemia.

.... but yes Bloody Mary was Mary Tudor who burnt many protestants as her father had.

And re above - you used to be able to travel within the EU without a passport about 20 years ago.

And a chicken is a chicken for its first year, after which it is a hen.

bunch

redexpat knows that appendicitis can be fatal - hence the use of in her post!

if you read the title then her sentence it's very obvious that she replied to the question, not stated her opinion!

hth

Zing, muscle is very different to flesh and meat.

All ExH;
"Is a potato a vegetable?" He is a ^chef^, people! He didn't know a raisin was a grape or a prune was a plumb.

"When do babies open their eyes?"

"What were female cavemen called?"

My father: "Chinese people come from a different species of monkey"

uterus

sorry, you are wrong, the meat is the muscle/s.

which is why game have tougher meat - they run around so their muscles are stronger.

cats play (or used to play ) with mice or birds before killing them because the adrenaline caused by fear gets released into the muscles which changes the muscle texture slightly and makes it nicer or easier to digest - apparently.
this could of course be an outdated view and I can not present you with evidence - one of my biology teachers told us this ages ago (she read it in a science magazine)

My friend wondered 'How did they keep the water back while they built the Channel tunnel?'

That would be me. Why was it easier to meet in the middle by the way?

Other than the fact that if I were in charge the other end of the tunnel would have ended up in Belgium.

Anais because it takes half as long to build it that way? I'm doubting myself though. Nasty head cold.

DP (wistfully) when I was expecting DS (our first):

"Our boy's going to have beautiful blue eyes, just like us."

Lovely, except NEITHER of us has blue eyes.

Also while pregnant:

DP: If you ever leave me I'll have to replace you with a fat woman.
Me:
DP: (panicking) Because of your tits!

He doesn't think bless him.

My dad's done the Poundland thing as well. Asked me to have a look when I'm in town to see how much paint rollers were. I stared at him for ages before he clicked.

lol at your examples.

Penny has dropped r.e the tunnel. Quicker. Of course. Hope your cold gets better soon

Thank you, me too!

A friend on attending a car boot sale with me for the first time,

"What do people do with all these car boots, Golden?"

Same friend, when I told her I would look on Amazon for something for her, "Where is the Amazon shop? I've never seen it"

Also, she had a lump (well not really a lump, more an irritation in her armpit) Dr sent her to Breast Clinic, just to be absolutely certain, the Dr there asked if anyone in her family had ever had any kind of breast problems or cancer, friend replied "Yes, my sister was in hospital last year with a chest infection"

I gave one of the mum's from school a lift home the other day, she stated that of everyone in Africa just stopped bloody shagging there would be enough food!? I didn't even argue, you can't argue with pain stupid.

Libertine - I know it's a typo but I love pain stupid. So stupid it hurts :)

My Dh, we were playing mini golf at the time "is that a real or a fake peacock?" It was a genuine questin.
He has many gems like that. He's bright with a mentally taxing job but a little lacking in commen sense