Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

hey kids, let me tell you a little secret, love Mum...

310 replies

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 28/07/2013 16:16

I hear you, you hate carrots, they're yucky yucky yucky andyou never want to have them.

That cheesey mash I make that you love so much? It aint that colour cos of cheese. IIt's that colour because it's 50% carrot.

You always ask for seconds,

While I have your attention, that crazy frog toy didn't break. I took out the batteries before I went stark raving mad.

OP posts:
LillethTheCat · 28/07/2013 19:24

Also I forgot we don't really have invisible elves living in our house watching you to report back to Santa.

itsblackoveryonderhill · 28/07/2013 19:26

oh and DD, here isn't only one way to grow, but just as long as you believe it has to be in a 'dark room' then I'm not complaining.

Readers this was my response to DD when she wanted to start having the landing light on for no reason. I told her that the only eay to grow up was to be in a dark and quiet room whilst you slept.

FromageFrog · 28/07/2013 19:26

Your Dad didn't really take the last doughnut/cake/few biscuits into work to share with his friends because he is kind, I ate them last night while you were in bed Blush

itsblackoveryonderhill · 28/07/2013 19:28

stealthpolarbear, yes, thats me too!

all I can say is that because it looks like a common occurance on some of these matters then they must be really true, Wink

LetUsPrey · 28/07/2013 19:29

DS1 when I used to tell you that Minstrels and Rolos had nuts in them and you couldn't have nuts because you we're too little - guess what?

Also, when you were nearly two and we told you that those things in the stir fry were mushrooms and they were magic sweeties? Would have been enormously helpful if when you went to nursery the next day and were having a What We Had For Dinner chat, you hadn't told all the staff you'd had magic mushrooms for dinner. Thanks for that.

MiaowTheCat · 28/07/2013 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurplePidjin · 28/07/2013 19:32

Wow, clever ds! Now you have two rice cakes biscuits! Aren't you lucky!

He's only 8 months, but my mum and mil are already primed with the line about only Grandmother's being allowed the magic tokens that make supermarket rides work

recording the bedtime hour is The Most Convincing Argument Ever for getting that swanky tv box thingy :o

FriskyHenderson · 28/07/2013 19:33

Fromage my DH is also responsible for all of the lost and missing food, and lost and missing toys. He does a awful lot of eating and tidying while they are asleep. The fact he has a 30" waist and I do not has escaped them Grin

giraffesCantWearSuncream · 28/07/2013 19:33

Lmao at emergency bed time hour

Lousmart · 28/07/2013 19:37

All sausages are not Richmonds, dd, sorry.

The bank doesn't have Santa-cam.

That late night you think you had, nope, I moved the clocks.

The head teacher at school doesn't have a spare bedroom at home for children who won't go to bed at home.

Oh my, aren't we all naughty? But it's whatever works eh?

georgedawes · 28/07/2013 19:50

Cbeebies wasn't really broken for the whole of the Olympics.

And the bush in the garden isn't really made up of magic dust either.

daisychicken · 28/07/2013 19:50

Daddy's cold coffee is not coke.....

and Father Christmas doesn't really use the cameras on the motorway or in shops to check that you are behaving....

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/07/2013 19:59

Mine are all older now, but I remember....

Ds1- that "magic spray" your football coach sprays on you? It is water.

The "special" chicken just for you?
It was fish

The fact that you can't be a footballer unless you eat carrots and peas. That it was actually the law that they had to eat veg?
Yeah, that was a lie.

Dd. The story about the tooth fairy being so busy with the other children that she didnt have time to deliver your money until the next day?
I didn't have any change.

The day Toys R Us lost their keys and couldn't open the shop?
Not true.

The fruit that you refuse to eat?
It was just the same fruit in the crumble. It was not special sweetie crumble.

Drinking my wine would not have stopped you growing when you were 5.

sunnyshine · 28/07/2013 20:04

Quorn is not chicken. Smile And summer magic ( old cheesy film) didn't fall off the sky planner!! I deleted itHmm

Goldmandra · 28/07/2013 20:06

DD2 - That noise I make when I put my hand behind your curtains? I'm not shutting your window.

Of course I won't turn your light off when you are asleep, sweetheart.

My Ipad battery doesn't really keep going flat whenever you want to go on Minion Rush.

DD1 - I don't have access to some magic software that alerts me when you break a rule. I check your Facebook account.

I don't have software that tells me you are on Facebook when you should be doing homework. I just know.

This thread has to be a Discussion of the Day.

NorbertDentressangle · 28/07/2013 20:06

You know how that first year you were so excited to have been allowed to stay up until midnight to see the new year in?...... well you didn't I'm afraid as we'd actually brought all the clocks forward so it was more like 10.30/11pm on new years eve that you saw .

BikeRunSki · 28/07/2013 20:12

We have an ice cream van that comes and plays his jingle outside our house every evening at 7.15pm from about March to Sept. DS, it's not really the Bed Inspectors checking to see if all the childre are in bed.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 28/07/2013 20:17

Oh and I don't actually know how many sweets are left in the bag. Or how many mints I have. Or how much lemonade was in the bottle.

I also cannot see through the ceiling. I just know when you are on your iPod rather than studying.

lucysmam · 28/07/2013 20:28

haha, I never do the lost toy one.....or phone santa one....or count to three....or any of the others honest Hmm

And, I oh so definately didn't just tell my stupidly bouncy dd's that daddy couldn't have a birthday tomorrow if they stayed up....because without going to sleep it would still be today...oh no Grin

HorseyGirl1 · 28/07/2013 20:32

One my parents did with me years ago when watching too much TV. 'Horsey could you just go out of the room to fetch.... . ' Oh quick!Look Horsey, TV has burned out, you can;t watch anymore today. It won't work any more today. ' I was about 10 before I figured it out, doh!

ChameleonCircuit · 28/07/2013 20:33

DS - those clever sweets you get every night...they're not really Bassetts Chewy Vitamins...

My two have both (at different times) decided to find out what I'd do when I got to five. They only did it once!

I'm marking this thread for future reference.

Rhino71 · 28/07/2013 20:34

DD, you know that tooth you lost swimming this afternoon, the one that turned up in your swimming towel when we got home, guess what, it wasn't yours it was your brothers that fell out last week that mum planted in the towel to stop you getting sad about the tooth fairy not coming.

IsThatTrue · 28/07/2013 20:44

rhino that's pure genius!

Dd the rides outside shops were not left out for the man to come and fix them.

And the tooth fairy is not scared of 'Fluffy' your pillow pal doggy. Mummy forgot, twice Blush

LittleBearPad · 28/07/2013 20:47

Taking notes for the future.

My sister is still deeply confused by the concept of chicken being beef flavoured, pork flavoured etc. (she's 32). Bad parents Grin

VikingVagine · 28/07/2013 20:52

Darling daughter, you know those green leaves you pick for me in the garden, yes that's right, the ones I then put into the blender with a few bits and bobs, uh huh, as I whizz it all together and you swear blind you won't eat the leaves from the garden? Yup, it's the exact same stuff that I dollop on your pasta a few moments later, you know, your favourite green pasta sauce? That's the stuff. Leaves.