Explain Children's TV Shows to me.

[TiggyD]

I work in childcare and need to keep up to date with children's TV shows so I know what the kids are on about. Please could you explain a show each in just one sentence. And please could somebody do Ben 10?!

eg,
Teletubbies:
4 coloured blobs with various antenae prance about life eating toast and custard aided by a possessed hoover.

Olly the Little White Van - Justin Fletcher continues his master plan towards world domination. Voicing a singing and dancing motor vehicle is just another step on the way.

I'm impressed. I never actually watch these programs, I just dump my kids in front of them while I get on with other stuff.

I do like the music on Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

Timmy's incessant baa-ing drives me mental.

I have never been able to figure out what Pokemon is about. I don't actually think it is about anything.

Andy's Wild Adventures. Who cares what it's about? Andy's in it, and quite often his shirt gets wet...

Get Well Soon:

A man is obsessed with poo.

So much so, he is allowed to do a show which is practically all about poo.

He lives out his happy poo fantasies whilst occasionally helping the puppets with various illnesses and making toddlers think they're GP will be hot (and setting them up for a lot of sadness in the future).

What's the big idea?

Sinister looking alien channels Descates asking questions such as "what does it mean to learn something?".

Let's Play - A woman can do anything a man can! Sid gets all the crap jobs.

What's the big idea- Hugo, bizarre boy in a jumpsuit asks toddlers questions about dying and sadness at far too early o'clock.

I will rest my case with Dhs name for mike the knight. In our house its called mike the twat.

Guess the programmes:

World's most boring boy and his most boring friends have adventures interupted by milkshake addicted frog conductor.

Boy has defective torch that gives off hallucinogenic gasses every night.

Creepy goody goodies have fun paid for by you, and groom young children with the promise of badges.

Are these retro Tiggy? The second one is sounding like Jamie and his Magic Torch.

Bod!!

Spongebob Squarepants, tender tale of inter species gay love, set in an underwater utopia.
With burgers.

Yes Panzee and Shipwrecked!

Mr Benn, man comes out of the closet dressed as one of the Village People.

Yup, Blue Peter was the third.

How about:
5 kids learn about life by fighting monsters in a miniature city made of cardboard.

Grown adults spend the day playing with a couple of teddies, a hideous doll, a hippy doll, and a rugby ball with a face.

A bunch of sexist trains who go off the rails every five minutes and make fun of their boss. (It's glandular!)

Numbers defend the world against a bunch of weirdos who mess things up all the time.

Excellent thread!

Balamory - basically The Wicker Man without the nudity. What did happen to the original Josie Jump? PC Plum is on borrowed time.

Same Smile - not entirely sure what its about but the theme tune sounds just like "Crash" by The Primitives.

Let's Play - a horrific Big Brother style gameshow where Sid and whatever her name is compete to stay alive. "Let it be me"

What's The Big Idea - a disturbing vision of our utopian future. Jumpsuits and no walls.

Dirtgirl World - dear God no!

Same Smile - I am yet to get over the episode where they took one of them swimming and threw it in the pool

All i could think was 'that'll take bloody ages to dry and it will stink'

Mr Tumble - fairly likeable clown type chap who does sign language and other crazy shit stuff. Constantly shocked by his own existence.
Grandad Tumble - his ageing grandad whom he picks on and generally takes the piss out of, sleeps a lot
Aunt Polly- posh widow twankey on crack
Lord Tumble - posh country gent... Also on crack
Cliff Tumble - ageing pop star, quite possibly on crack
Tiny Tumble - a chance to milk the Tumble franchise for all it's worth, without having to get Fletch in for more filming.

Justins House -as someone said before Noels house party for kids... But also Ashley Peacock lives next door! Who knew?!

Sorry I've Got No Head - comedy sketches that finish just a little too late, so we leave late for school and run like the wind! Appeals to parents who remember really telly and comedy nights before kids...

Big City Park: Sesame Street spins off to a Belfast park, losing the budget en route so there's one huge shaggy puppet called Ruari, a perky squirrel, a depressed badger, and one annoying Scottish presenter. And obligatory children. They Skype Ernie and Bert.

Small Potatoes: some spuds of limited growth don't want to be turned into chips so go seek fame and fortune by singing and dancing a range of styles. Surprisingly good but your child will refuse to eat potatoes ever again.

Mr Bloom's nursery: Beeb thinks that children will be more likely to eat veg if they form relationships with them first, such as Margaret the cauliflower and Sebastian the posh aubergine. Might work if only to rescue them from the clutches of their oversized elf captor.