Explain Children's TV Shows to me.

[TiggyD]

I work in childcare and need to keep up to date with children's TV shows so I know what the kids are on about. Please could you explain a show each in just one sentence. And please could somebody do Ben 10?!

eg,
Teletubbies:
4 coloured blobs with various antenae prance about life eating toast and custard aided by a possessed hoover.

Loving this thread

Abney and Teal

Discarded toys come to life (in a park on an island) accompanied by a halucinagenic turnip and a farting lake monster... have adventures and high jinx to the tune of a dog playing an accordian...

really

Ben10 boy with fights aliens to save world. He is a Plumber (not really its code for alien fighter) and chooses hus alien from a watch called an omnitrix Possibly slightly insestous relationship with Gwen hus cousin who also has special powers.

I always thought Teal was a reanimated cadaver (she is the most disturbing colour) until I realised they were puppets!

Show me show me.

Slightly less hottie but ever so naice presenters channel the Play School vibe and do the children's television equivalent of synchronised swimming.

Rhyme Rocket:

A ham, a jam, and a great big flan.

(Made no sense to me either, but it rhymes and is therefore teaching the children words, apparently.)

I'm still not sure where the rocket comes into it.

Ben 10: ten-year-old on summer roadtrip with grandfather and cousin stumbles upon alien artifact that enables him to temporarily change into different alien species and battle bad guys in what proves to be a surprisingly coherent series plot arc.

Old Jack's Boat: everybody wanted Jackanory back but they needed a gimmick and couldn't afford the rights to any real books.

Shaun the sheep: based on the Wallace and Gromit Shaun the sheep with aardman animations. Shaun, Blitzer the dog, the farmer and a variety of other animals get up to lots of hilarities normally involving Shaun being clever or naughty. The farmer is portrayed as a bit of a dimwit and the pigs are downright mean!

Woolly and Tig: a (it's only a) toy spider channels Granny Murray from "Me Too" and guides a young Scottish girl through such worrying life experiences as encountering a man with a beard.

cbeebies bedtime story

a star from the latest big budget BBC funded drama reads a story to camera whilst grown ups at home wrestle with the wine and microwave dinners

Strange Hill High - Moss from the IT Crowd reprises his role as a bespectacled oddball caught in a surreal world.

Jelly Jamm: fuck knows what it's about. Not a clue.

Bob the Builder: an animated version of "Grand Designs" in which all of the building equipment has developed artificial intelligence as free will, and the increasingly Eco-minded building projects each take no more than a day to complete, no matter how complex. Budgets do not appear to be an issue.

bob the builder

bob (the builder) builds fuck all while wendy and a team of haunted heavy plant do their stuff

Blue Peter: long running magazine show whose presenters become either National Treasures or National Disgraces.

Tree Fu Tom: an insufferable boy miniaturises himself in order to patronise a butterfly, a bug, an acorn and a frog, summoning up 'big world magic' to resolve every self inflicted problem by performing half arsed pretend exercises.

Fireman Sam

Group of firefighters sort out yet another fuck up caused by the ASBO earning Norman price and his feckless mother. One Italian stereo type and the boy's voice is done by a girl.

Or what RippingYarns said. Nice juxtaposition!

Old Jacks Boat

Bernard Cribbins and beautiful dog Rusty escape a charming seaside location (it's STAITHES we all cry out smugly) populated by frankly lunatic residents by sailing on their unnecessarily CGI-ed boat. A tedious story is told.

Get Well Soon: a real doctor (who is a bit of a hottie) talks about poo lots. Really, lots.

Get Well Soon - Dr Ranj teaches children to not only laugh about poo, but to sing about it too!