Biblical Mumsnet

[BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels]

TheVirginMary: AIBU to think that dh could have at least booked a hotel?

Relationships: DH is coveting our neighbours DW, should I LTB or wait for God to smite him?

Good Housekeeping: Feck! How do I get rid of a plague of locusts?

MARGARET, TURN AWAY FROM THE DARK SIDE

Food: DS has decided to go off camping in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. He's traveling light and has decided not to take any supplies with him. Anyone got any good cactus recipes I can send him off with?

AIBU: My neighbour claims her son is alive and well, even though he was crucified last Friday. I suspect they are pulling some kind of fiddle to claim one of the free donkeys the authorities hand out, so WIBU to report them?

AIBU to not want to be baptised in a bloody river? its filthy and full of germs. but John won't do it anywhere else!

AIBU to expect DP to stay in and help? We're in temporary accommodation, right next to an inn and he's round there every night with a bunch of shepherds and magi. This place is freezing, I can see a star through the hole in the roof and it's filthy - straw and manure on the floor and a bloody ox which I can't shift. Our pfb is having to sleep in the hay. This isn't what the angel promised me 9 months ago.

Help:- I'm trying to research our family history and all I seem to getting is so & so was begot by some other so & so and so on...back 10 generations. It's also very hard going as there doesn't seem be any females mentioned?

Also I just recently bought a nice holiday flat in that very posh/exclusive resort of S&B and now I hear it's (S&B) been destroyed out right. Any idea what I should do now?

Am exhausted trying to keep up with the Dcs extra curricular classes. Have dropped dd at dance classes but have reservations about the new dance routines and costumes...they seem a bit forward to me for these biblical times. I think it will end in tears but Salome seems happy.
Ds is tootling tunelessly on that bloody trumpet, its driving me nuts. Have packed him off to my sis in Jericho - he can blow it there and not cause any problems.

Parenting

My son seems to gave fallen in love with this shrimpy smelly ex shepherd who has his eye on the main chance. He managed to play a minor part on one of the local gang fights and is now bigging himself up. The only thing to be said for him is that he plays guitar ok. How can I open Ds' eyes that this guy just wants to inherit what I've fought for? I don't care about the gay thing, but he is completely controlled by this creep. WWYD?

AIBU to stop ds David before the fight next week. That Goliath is a monster!
AIBU to think Jezebel should shag whoever she fancies without being judged.
AIIBU to stop MIL washing dcs feet with my precious oil.
AIBU to stop ds from witnesses the blood tears at this prayer worship
AIBU to expect Rachel not to wake all of Rama with her wailing and to complain to the council about this.
AIBU to expect father not to watch over me.
AIBU to think Sodom and Gomorrah are just charming vibrant cities with a lot of tourist magnetism and so should not be destroyed

Can you recommend a good Sat Nav? I've got to follow a star but it's so hard and I won't ask for directions

Chat: Bethlehem. Anyone been? We have to go late December. Any ideas what to do/restaurant recommendations/shops? Am 39 weeks pregnant so nothing too exhausting please.

jessie We flew on EasyAngel one year and they landed us in Antioch. Not impressed.

We have a flight into Egypt planned at short notice.
Can anyone recommend a good post-partum ass saddle?

(Ouch)

PS. Seems v unfair I have to endorse childbirth without even getting a shag. A hoping to make up for it once we get settled somewhere without bloody farm animals and random visitors all over the place.

Endure, even.
These visitors and the nonstop lowing are getting to me. I can't think straight. Or sit comfortably.

Legal. DH appears to have promised verbally to give the field we have been counting on as our pension plan to some sort of groupie. There is no written agreement and no value has passed from the other side.

So it is not a contract, right? So we have every right to get out of it?

Grateful for urgent advice as there is a meeting tonight. Think I had better go with him as DH might just give in.

Chat. Does anyone know where I can find a female unicorn urgently? Google no help and ship about to sail. Noah.

Fishnet. My whale is looking unwell. Do you think I should change to a different type of krill?

I'd ask somebody who knows about animals. I Noah vet.

Has it lost weight? Have you taken it to a whale weigh station?

Legal. Am at wits end. have lost my DLA and am being pursued for fraud for claiming I was paralysed.

Not sure how I can prove I was until last month when some guy with MH issues muttered at me.

The jobsworths have stopped my DLA and are trying to take years of payments off me. CAB no use, no precedents. And no income.

Desperate.

General Health.
My friend Moses has just come down from a mountain with a really sore back. Should he stop taking the tablets?

Legal. I was dead and now the Sanhedrin wants the money back for the Welfare Burial.

Bewildered.

Tiggy, RL DH has just groaned at both. Puns worthy of him.

Thanks Lineys Have heard awful things about EasyAngel's. They'd probably charge me for 2 seats on the off-chance I have the sprog mid-air. We're taking the little donkey. No idea what Bethlehem's like but heard it's full of tourists at this time of year. So that'll be a drag and food/drink will be at rip-off prices.

Re, Moses' bad back. Yes, def tell him to stop with those tablets. My DH (who's an apostle and travels a lot with work) got a Kindle Fire. Much lighter to carry around than that antiquated thing your mate has got. It's wi-fi and has a really good memory too.

whistler what a bummer re your DLA. I'd ask for a re-assessment. You need to tell them what you're like on your worst day, not on the day some guy told you to throw down your crutches on the basis he said he could heal the sick. Not holding my breath for you what with the Government cutbacks but you have nothing to lose by trying.