Biblical Mumsnet

[BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels]

TheVirginMary: AIBU to think that dh could have at least booked a hotel?

Relationships: DH is coveting our neighbours DW, should I LTB or wait for God to smite him?

Good Housekeeping: Feck! How do I get rid of a plague of locusts?

Dh didn't come home last night. Again. He hangs around with this bunch of lads that seen to be led by this one bloke called Jesus.They all do whatever he tells them to do no matter what the cost to their families. It's like they fucking worship him.

Dh stuck his head in a lion's mouth last night. Dick.

The Litter Tray
The Tack Room

Pets How do I thread my camel through the eye of a needle?

@garlicbaubles

This really should be in Classics!

ASK AND IT SHALL BE DONE

I love this.

God

God, you're here. Found you at last.

The Puddlehumpers are trying, very very hard, to bring your new Messiah into the world, via the womb of StateOfConfusion. But we can only accomplish this if one of HQ will sing us a new song, and they only have 12 days to go.

Can you start inspiring them or something?

Oooh, classics!

Finally!

Dh says that God has spoken to him, and given him 10 commandments, by which we shall all live. He is insisting that everyone in our settlement follow these rules to the letter, lest god smite us.

Is this typical narcissist behaviour?

legal matters: DH and his colleagues are still sore afraid after going AWOL from their jobs as shepherds last week. They were keeping watch over the flocks by night as usual when the glory of The Lord shone round about them and a angel of The Lord came down with a multitude of the heavenly host and told them to go even unto Bethlehem to see a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger. Stupidly IMO they actually did this and the sheep have not been seen since. They are not in a Union. Any advice?

okay, I have just arrived in my new digs and the bloke I'm sharing with is, well, kinda weird. Keeps looking at me in a funny way and asking if I want an apple, whatever that is.
Also, saw him skinny dipping in the river and his chest is all swollen up and he seems to be missing the dangly thing that I've got.Can anyone advise?
Adam

Such ingenuity!

Has none of you REALLY got nothing better to do with your lives?

Still, I suppose 'there is no such thing as bad publicity'!

Avuncular, ther good thing is, noones forcing you to read or post. Amazing, I know!

What's the problem, avuncular? Are you like my great-auntie, who thought 'ingenuity' went together with 'having an opinion' as works of satan?

Isn't it great when people whinge about posters wasting their time on mumsnet by .... Ummm.... Posting on a mumsnet thread! That's us told!

Ooh, fight. Excellent. Smite her down, LRD, smite her down with your scatalogical scatology.

AIBU: having left an apple hanging in the middle of a garden and told my two creations not to touch it, you're not going to believe this, they actually ate the damned thing as I knew they would, being an all seeing, all knowing God .
Would it be totally unreasonable of me to punish the more easily led of the two ( the one called Eve) with having to bring forth children while suffering for all time?
I don't actually care about peoples opinions as I am going to do it anyway

I think pretending to have smiting powers will call down the wrath of God. Her voice has already been heard here ...

Can we have a lightning bolt smiley, though?

Smite, smite, smite, smite!

"GodMumsnet" has made me .

Nicknames Used:

The Word
The Creator
Wendy
WendyRedRedRobin
God

I should have thought,avuncular that you would be pleased by the level of theological awareness amongst Britain's parenting community.

God 07-Dec-72 13:37:56

1. Thou shalt not kill.

MrsJolly 07-Dec-72 13:39:62
Haven't you got something better to do with your time?

ReindeerCock 07-Dec-72 13:41:34
What about no nicking stuff?

God 07-Dec-72 13:41:56

1. Thou shalt not steal.

God 07-Dec-12 13:43:09
X-Post! LOL

tiggy

Are you there God? It's me Margaret?

margaret