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Biblical Mumsnet

274 replies

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 10:59

TheVirginMary: AIBU to think that dh could have at least booked a hotel?

Relationships: DH is coveting our neighbours DW, should I LTB or wait for God to smite him?

Good Housekeeping: Feck! How do I get rid of a plague of locusts?

OP posts:
butisthismyname · 06/12/2012 15:44

AIBU: Dh has given our son (one of several) this completely garish coat. The others are really not happy. Is this favouritsim?? I'm not his mother by the way but I treat them all the same

JugglingWithPossibilities · 06/12/2012 15:48

You got me smiling TimeToSmile - especially @ how do you know there will be no MNers in heaven ? Grin

Liked your money thread one too Xmas Smile

middleagedspread · 06/12/2012 15:55

How can I find out if those 3 men, bringing odd baby gifts have been CRB checked?

LRDtheFeministDude · 06/12/2012 16:00

Huh. I think middleaged is trolling. How can she be sure there are three of them? Eh? I see no mention of this in the written version. Hmm

I'm reporting to MNSmiteHQ right now.

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 16:13

Aibu to be annoyed by my mother favouring my dsb, her pfb. My dad stuck by her through her pregnancy by another man, and has supported us by working as a carpenter, but she thinks her pfb walks on water.

OP posts:
garlicbaubles · 06/12/2012 16:24

DH has no ambition. His father provides us with everything, but won't explain where it comes from and insists on regular displays of gratitude. I was OK with this to begin with - FIL is generous - but am getting frustrated by the way he controls our lives. DH won't hear a word against him. I suggested moving out of the family property and learning to fend for ourselves, but DH is scared of losing all his father's support.

I've recently met someone else who says he can teach me about everything FIL keeps to himself. Nothing has happened between us yet and I'm not sure I can trust him - he's a bit of a snake really - but it's hard to resist the challenge! Any ideas on how I can get DH to break out of his father's control and develop some curiosity about life?

MrsHoarder · 06/12/2012 16:53

Relationships: this strange man has just asked for our youngest daughter's hand in marriage. WIBU to make him work for a DD then marry DD1 off to him instead?

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 16:53

Relationships: I have become very close to this man, I travel around with him, and 12 other men, teaching and spreading the word of god's love. But I think I am falling in love with him. he is being crucified on Friday, should I tell him how I feel?

OP posts:
BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 16:57

WWYD: for many years I have been travelling with a group of men, the leader has upset many important people.

I have been offered 30 pieces of silver in return for indicating which man is jesus to the roman army. all I have to do is kiss him on the cheek and they will do the rest. Its a lot of money and will change my life, maybe even mean I can get married. whats the worst that could happen?

OP posts:
MuffinPaws · 06/12/2012 16:59

Good housekeeping - How do I get warthog poop off my sofa?

Boat building dh has invited couples round during this wet spell and the warthogs overdid the avacado dip.

Badvocsanta · 06/12/2012 17:00

Worst Xmas ever!
Some random weirdos came into the stable (yes, stable, that's a whole other thread!) and gave my lovey baby some gold (result!) frankincense (wtaf?) and myrrh. Yes. Myrrh. For when you are dead.
Aibu in thinking that some John (the baptist) Lewis vouchers would have been more appropriate?

greenandcabbagelooking · 06/12/2012 17:05

Arts and craft: I'm making my DS12 a new coat, what colour shall I make it?

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 17:09

adoption: I found a baby in the bull-rushes... where do I stand legally? can I raise him as my own?

OP posts:
SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter · 06/12/2012 17:33

AIBU: My friend is a great guy, but after a few drinks he insists he's the son of God, can do miracles and walk on water. AIBU to doubt this?

MaggieMaggieMaggieMcGill · 06/12/2012 17:34

WIBU to let my veil slip at the well so I could show this gorgeous young man how pretty I am?

necklaceofraindrops · 06/12/2012 18:09

Music: I'm in front of a big wall with a trumpet - what should I play?

FromEsme · 06/12/2012 18:27

BlameIt lol at "he's being crucified on Friday"

AIBU: I went out one day, had got really dressed up, nice make-up and everything, but now everyone is calling me a whore. AIBU to just want to look pretty without being called a false prophet?

cynnerthenaughtyreindeer · 06/12/2012 18:37

AIBU to ask my husband to stop hanging out with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John? I mean I get that they are his disciples and all..

ChristmasFayrePhyllis · 06/12/2012 19:26

I went to stay with my 60 year old cousin, and was Shock to find when I got there that she was pg. AIBU to think it's irresponsible to have IVF at that age?

S&B: what clothes do you suggest I get my DS for Christmas? He insists on going around dressed in a camel's hair sack and I think he looks a right mess.

Help! I think my son in law has joined a cult! He and his brother have abandoned perfectly good jobs in the local fishing industry to traipse around the country with a charismatic hippy. WWYD? I am so stressed out about it I think I am coming down with a fever.

cynnerthenaughtyreindeer · 06/12/2012 19:29

Pregnancy: Help! Just found out I am pregnant for the first time at 90! Will people constantly ask if I am DC's great grandmother?

LineRunnerWithBellsOn · 06/12/2012 19:31

Ebay: The frankincense received is Not As Described. But why I should have to pay the return cost to send it back to Mesopotamia? I'm fuming.

ElfOnTheShelf · 06/12/2012 19:43

AIBU to send the DH of the woman I shagged last night right to the front of tomorrows battle so he will hopefully perish? I don't think IABU as I am the King after all...

mmm that Bathsheba is one hot piece of ass

Lilka · 06/12/2012 20:03

Teenagers - Has anyone else put to death their teen?

My DD2 cursed me today in the most foul language. Having read the Word of the Lord, I know I cannot overlook this. She must be put to death. However, the Lord has not given clear instructions on how to do this - is stoning the most appropriate method in this circumstance? And should it be just me or should the whole community stone her together?

Adoption - Help, my son has rejected me and is going off the rails

I adopted my son years ago, and raised him as my own. His birth family are the slaves of my father (the Pharoah). I have always told him he is Hebrew as well as Egyptian. All was well until adulthood - but now things have gone horribly wrong. He killed someone (an Egyptian no less!), and ran away. He then came back claiming he has spoken to some 'God' we do not recognise in this family, and demanding my father release all the slaves!! When he rightly refused, my Moses started causing horrible plagues to happen upon us. Locusts, Famine, and now he is threatening to murder all of our firstborn sons if we do not comply! Help!! How could he have so horribly rejected me and my family. How do we bring him back and make him forget all this freeing birth family and 'God' nonsense? I'm desperate :(

Chat - How to find a well endowed Egyptian bloke?

I have it on good authority (the book of the Lord no less) that Egyptian men are as well hung as Donkeys, and have the emissions of horses. Or at least the ones who frequent prostitutes do. Round here, all the men are under 12 inches. It's not good enough. How do I find myself a nice and importantly, well hung, Egyptian man? And no you can't,the first one is mine

LemonMousstletoeandWine · 06/12/2012 20:29

My son Goliath has always been a big boy for his age but now he's having trouble with another little boy, David, who keeps throwing stones at him at playtime.

Should I see the teacher about this?

SuffolkNWhat · 06/12/2012 20:36

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