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Original poster

Biblical Mumsnet

274 replies

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 10:59

TheVirginMary: AIBU to think that dh could have at least booked a hotel?

Relationships: DH is coveting our neighbours DW, should I LTB or wait for God to smite him?

Good Housekeeping: Feck! How do I get rid of a plague of locusts?

OP posts:
AdesteFiderer · 06/12/2012 12:07

AIBU: I'm sick of going to weddings with DB. Every time the same, the booze runs out and he ponces about in a cloak claiming he can turn water into wine Hmm Us brothers don't get a look in with the girls after that Envy

GrimmaTheNome · 06/12/2012 12:07

Childbirth: Look, its not my fault Eve ate that sodding apple, get me some pain relief!

AdesteFiderer · 06/12/2012 12:12

Step-parenting: My dss keeps wandering off. His mum sent him to the market for some Fruits of the Shoot and he was gone for hours. Whole neighbourhood out searching. We finally found him in a temple whinging on to some deaf old gits and he claimed it was his father's house Shock

I've looked after him since his mother was pg with said invisible father. Also, AIBU to be upset?

JugglingWithPossibilities · 06/12/2012 12:14

AIBU to be pissed off ? DH and I were just leaving our home town - admittedly it's been a bit dodgy recently and going down hill fast - anyway DH said he'd had a strong message that it was time we left so we packed our bags and set off ... but I'm still fond of the old place - in spite of everything we made some good memories there ... anyway on the road out of town I just turned round to have one last look at the place and I was turned into this pillar of salt. WIBU ? and WWYD ?

MuffinPaws · 06/12/2012 12:18

Christmas - my uncle Methuselah is 76 and comes round to ours every year. PITA. Tell me this is not going to happen for much longer?

GreenyEyes · 06/12/2012 12:25

SiteStuff

Are we having a Passover Name Change competition at all?

Original poster
BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 12:29

Is it too early to lay down my palm leaves?

OP posts:
SPsFanjoIsSantasLittleHoHoHo · 06/12/2012 12:31

AIBU: My son was born on the same day as this other woman in my village yet the day is been named after him and its all about him. So what if he can turn water to wine! The mother wears Huggs and has permanent scribblings on her arm

Original poster
BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 12:40

Dh has this harebrained idea that he can lead us out of egypt, aibu to think that the pharoahs will never allow it, esp with these plagues!

OP posts:
GreenyEyes · 06/12/2012 12:41

Dreadful stealth boast I know, but my pfb really is the Son Of God

GreenyEyes · 06/12/2012 12:47

Babynames:

I shouldn't really laugh but there's a child in my Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego's school called George pmsl

Original poster
BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 06/12/2012 12:50

george? What's with this trend for modern names with odd pronunciations?

OP posts:
LunaticFringe · 06/12/2012 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrimmaTheNome · 06/12/2012 13:01

Gardening: one of my fig trees has suddenly withered. I've been told that someone who wanted to scrump some fruit cursed it, but as it's not even fruiting season that seems an unlikely explanation. What could be the cause please?

GrimmaTheNome · 06/12/2012 13:01

Legal matters: someone has driven my herd of swine over a cliff. How do I go about claiming compensation?

AdesteFiderer · 06/12/2012 13:13

My Uncle Paul has always been a right cocky know-it-all. Mum said she didn't ever want to hear any more about his latest Zealot commendations and travels to oh-so-posh-and-exotic cities.

Now he's sent word (scrawled on some forrin leaf by a minion) that he's had some accident on the road to Damascus of all places, had a vision (drunk no doubt) he can't see (no Specsavers Hmm ? )and we're to hasten there.

We don't even know if he had "Not your fault Plague/Pestilence/Rabid Donkey/Deity Trouble" cover.

WWYD?

GrimmaTheNome · 06/12/2012 13:17

Sorry, I thought your uncle was called Saul, is he a namechanger?

joanbyers · 06/12/2012 13:19

I've got my mooncup in. Am I ritually unclean? Do I need to make any burnt offerings?

AdesteFiderer · 06/12/2012 13:22

Grimma he is, the bastard. My aunt was always suspicious when dancing girls kept calling out to him.

ScumbagCollegeDropout · 06/12/2012 13:23

Haha these are brilliant! Classics anyone?

EcoLady · 06/12/2012 13:26

I've been working hard all week. I made light, earth, fishes, animals, even a model of myself. Now I'm pooped. AIBU to just want a day off?

GrimmaTheNome · 06/12/2012 13:28

EcoLady - love your name in that context! Grin

SPsFanjoIsSantasLittleHoHoHo · 06/12/2012 13:28

The people I created are been dicks. AIBU to send some locusts to them? Any other suggestions welcome

AdesteFiderer · 06/12/2012 13:29

I am Angry My mate Mary has a friend, drug-dealer I reckon. This poor bloke, Lazzie, was off his head on something drizzled on his olive leaf and passed out.

Then along comes Mary's mate, Jezzer, and slips him some upper/reviver and lo, Lazzie is fine, gets up and shins up a palm tree. Everyone is shouting "Yay, Lazarus, yay Jesus" but I have an uneasy feeling about it. WWYD?

AdesteFiderer · 06/12/2012 13:34

One more nosy bastard complains about the donkey, sheep and the 3 foreign gentlemen I keep in my garden shed and I'll call BiblicalAnimalTourismWatch.

And there is NOTHING wrong with my manger either.