Please help me with my 'Little Book of Hindsight' for DS's 18th

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Hi

My DS is 18 on Monday. (sob)

As my parents died when I was in my early 20s and I've really missed their advice over the years, I've bought a gorgeous little book and I'm writing in it all the things I think it's useful to know. I've called it 'The Little Book of Hindsight ... or How Not To Bugger It Up'

I've put funny things in as well as serious things eg the correct response when a woman asks if her bum looks big in this (and an example of an incorrect response for fun). I've said try to save 1/4 of your net income etc etc.

I know he needs to learn by his own mistakes but I thought this would be nice - and it isn't a book of rules.

He knows I'm writing it and likes the idea but asked for it to be funny.

Please can you help.

Good advice on this thread.

Just one or two more to add (that's if the OP doesn't mind?)

Never, ever get involved in office politics.

Always ask if anyone wants a cuppa, if you're going to make yourself one.

Don't always be the first one to volunteer.

Polish your shoes front & back (including heels).

When you have enough money, invest in a couple of tailor-made suits.

Get a proper decent hat. (beanie hats don't count)

Office xmas parties...don't get pissed!

Make friends with the IT people (if possible) as you'll never know, when you will need their help.

Never slag off your employer to anyone, as that person might know your boss.

Learn to be discrete/tactful in the office.

Condoms are there for a reason...use them!

Before I headed off to college my dad said, very seriously, "Well...don't do anything stupid." It pretty much covers it all!

Also "give a person guts, and shit will do for brains."

My grandpa used to say "Well, life brings lots of hurt. And you can get through it or die. If you get through it you'll be all right. And if you die you'll go to Heaven and be all right. Or...well, if you don't make it to Heaven, at least you'll have a lot of company." And then he'd laugh and laugh. :) Oh, I miss him.

Jagerbombs - avoid unless you want embarrassing photos on FB

I'm just bumping this incase anyone has any more sayings to add. Dd2 is 18 in a few weeks time and I am unashamedly stealing this idea. I have a lovely book that I think will be suitable. Thanks op!

ooh good thread..

things i will tell my dcs when they are a bit older:

some things are worth the bollocking you'll get for doing them

some bollockings aren't deserved and you'll both know it, but bite your tongue and bide your time. your words will have more effect when you use them calmly with a calm audience.

never apologise unless you are actually sorry. always apologise when you are. dont assume it's been assumed.

there is no perfect anything.

another one is

you're always making choices. even when you feel you have no choice, whatever you are doing is a choice you have made. take responsibility for them. good or bad.

Work to live, don't live to work.

Thanks, I'm starting this afternoon and am very excited!

Before you move in with or get serious with a partner, find out whether their attitude to money matches up with yours.

(inspired by a couple of threads going right now)

If you're ever in trouble, admit what you've done and say you're sorry.

If you've done everything to try and achieve it, and you still can't have what you want, ask yourself why you want it.

If you have to choose, flip a coin and shout the answer out loud before it lands. Then you'll know what you really want.

Another late entry....my mum has always told me 'its not what you know, it's who you know', the older I've got the truer this has become.

'Be good, be kind, be happy' has also stuck with me.

Make sure you have a firm handshake. Nothing worse than a limp handed handshake.

Fab that this thread is still going!
I'm glad some other posters have made a book too.

You don't know everything...but nor do you know nothing.

Got me through an exam or 2, that has.

...A word to husbands, thanks to Ogden Nash:
"To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up."

I thnk this is worth reviving, thanks to he poster who provided the link

Bumping this for all us anxious parents clock watching till 8am and UCAS track opens

If you are not 5 mins early, you are late.
Don' t scrimp on eye tests or dental check ups.
Stop and smell the roses.
Dance in the rain.
Sometimes, it only has to be good enough, not perfect.
Never burn your bridges at work.

For girls - money spent on a well fitted bra is money well spent.

Time is the currency of love. I can' t remember where I first heard that, but itvis so true. Spend time with the people you love.

Do as you would be done by; be done by as you did.

Praise goes a very long way. Commend more than you criticise.

This one I live by: assumption is the mother of all fuck ups

My favourites, from my Dad:

If someone is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/barman/doorman etc then they are an arse who is not worth one single second of your time.

If you can't be good be careful.

Don't drink anything blue.

Do not sweep your mistakes under the rug.

Do not live your life by regrets, own them and move on.

Tomorrow is always another day.

Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift and that's why it's called the present.

If stopped by police for any reason, there is only one thing to do - grovel.

Tombstoning (jumping from cliffs into water) is for people who want a broken neck.

When you feel sick, stop drinking.

The world is a small place, try not to fall out with anyone unless you have to.

Smiling goes a long way.

Don't give in to your temper. Best results always come from keeping your cool.

There's always a right path to take.

People who flatter you are often up to no good.

Comparison is the thief of joy