Please help me with my 'Little Book of Hindsight' for DS's 18th

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Hi

My DS is 18 on Monday. (sob)

As my parents died when I was in my early 20s and I've really missed their advice over the years, I've bought a gorgeous little book and I'm writing in it all the things I think it's useful to know. I've called it 'The Little Book of Hindsight ... or How Not To Bugger It Up'

I've put funny things in as well as serious things eg the correct response when a woman asks if her bum looks big in this (and an example of an incorrect response for fun). I've said try to save 1/4 of your net income etc etc.

I know he needs to learn by his own mistakes but I thought this would be nice - and it isn't a book of rules.

He knows I'm writing it and likes the idea but asked for it to be funny.

Please can you help.

Have to say too that I'm going to print this thread and give it to him separately - to show him the kindness of strangers

I think I might print off a copy of this thread! A friend and I were quoting Sunscreen at each other the other day... the ones we felt resonated most were the following:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

and

Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Ironically, the actual sunscreen message almost passes me by...

This is one MN will probably hate, but I find myself having to repeat it to my nan with alarming regularity-
'My body is a temple, and it's fine for it to have stained glass windows.'- with reference to my tattoos and orange hair

If you arrive in Peru and some random person on the street tries toget you to drink something with a live frog blended in. Don't. However much of a laugh it seems at the time. There is probably a bigger lesson here about peer pressure never going away and always being as stupid as it was when you were 14.

Never, ever open a beer bottle with your teeth. Nobody will be impressed and you will regret it for a looooooong time. Sharks replace their teeth on an ongoing basis, you've just got the ones in your head. Let the sharks show off.

If nobody laughs at your funny story, don't tell it again louder.

Piercings heal over, hair dye washes out, tattoos last forever, so be whimsical witg the first two but decided with the latter.

Clear out your clutter on a regular basis.

Listen to the music you love, not what you think you ought to be listening to.

Just, you know, don't be a tool.

How do you blend a live frog?

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

No, no, no no. You are doing it wrong.

You grab Tequilia. And salt.

The two pearls of wisdom my Dad gave to me: "It never rains in a pub" and "bullshit baffles brains". Both very true (unless the pub has a flat roof, they're a bugger for leaking. Maybe that's what Misshap's Mum meant)

Don't know if any of these would be any good:

• You can't be liked by everyone all the time and if someone is willing to stab someone else in the back for you, you can guarantee they'll do the same to you somewhere along the line.

• Just because life doesn't go to your plan doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Some of the best choices I've made in life have gone against my life 'plan'.

• Listen well to those with beliefs/opinions which conflict with yours. You'll learn a hell of a lot even if you don't change your mind.

-Read, books are amazing

• Not everyday will be a good day. There will be times where you'll think, lets go to bed and start again tomorrow.

• Laugh at yourself - you'll feel better for it.

• Don't dwell on what you said in the past - you can't go back and change it. If you feel it was wrong - make amends.

• Popularity and coolness don't matter in the end. Going against the majority is ok.

-Take a deep breath, the world around you won't have changed but you'll feel more in control.

This is a brilliant idea!!

Limes, lemons, oranges if your pushed

The main thing is the tequlia

although I can;t drink the stuff anymore becasue I am old and only like wine noe

This reminds me of something I read about in Australia years ago.... A woman was dying of cancer, and wrote a book for her husband on how to be a mother and father to their daughters. Things like instructions for hairstyles, age-appropriate stocking stuffers for X-Mas, etc. Was awfully sad, but beautiful as well.

Meanwhile, my advice for your son would be that the best way to make yourself memorable to other people is to ask them questions about themselves.
Goes hand in hand with not worrying about how you appear to other people, as they are probably all focused on how they appear to everyone else anyway!

Ok in the hotel now copying these out.

Women never think of nothing.

It's ok to say what you want.

Never say 'Why are you being so horrible? Have you got PMT?

When you feel overwhelmed, go for a walk.

Recognise the power of networking, good manners and kindness.

You can't make yourself bigger by making others smaller.

Smile! It's the most attractive outfit you can wear (unless you're David Beckham. He should never smile - or speak)

Spend much more time with 'zappers' than 'sappers'.

And VERY important for males everywhere:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle - be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!

A trip to Holland I know it's about having a child with SEN but can be used about anything - not getting into uni, medical issues, break ups etc.

Oh god that made me cry

Beautiful

mog- that's lovely!

If you speak confidently, you can get people to believe anything.

Be nice to the people you meet on the way up - you may meet them again on the way down.

Learn the cleaner/tea lady's name - they're just as important (if not more so) than the CEO.

Oh and boys look lovely in tights, skirts, dresses and with long hair. You don't need to censor yourself....

Probably a bit late for your book now but mine is a quote from Maya Angelou:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".

mog that's beautiful.

The letter writing idea- I think I will use that idea starting with ds1 4th birthday.

As for my notes:

True friends are those who will tell you what you need to know rather than what you want to hear.

True friends are happy with your successes as well as commiserating your defeats.

Love many, trust few always paddle your own canoe.

Do not think that as a man you are immune to domestic violence or emotional abuse.

Spend your time with life's radiators not drains

Treat your intended as you would like to be treated yourself or else someone else will.

I love this thread!

If you ring up a family member (example mum) and dad answers, don't asked to be passed over straightaway, have a conversation with him too, he's just as important/loved.

Don't get annoyed with tailgators, pull over and wave them round you, you will both be happier.

Never use snow spray at Christmas on your Windows, you will still see where it has been for YEARS to come, no matter how much windowlene you've used.

Don't trust the use by date, if it tastes looks off, it probably is, don't eat or drink it.

Say yes more, unless there's a valid genuine reason for saying no.

Don't do things by halfs, otherwise you'll have to do them twice.

Having you're cake and eating it is messy. Be prepared to clean up all the crumbs if you do.

Time is the currency of love

Theses "Rules for Living" from the Dalai Lama are on the wall at DS's martial arts club and I rather like them as 18th birthday wisdom. Dalai Lama rules

100% of the goals you don't take don't go in ie: take every oppurtunity.

Everyone has the right to wear suscreen