Please help me with my 'Little Book of Hindsight' for DS's 18th

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Hi

My DS is 18 on Monday. (sob)

As my parents died when I was in my early 20s and I've really missed their advice over the years, I've bought a gorgeous little book and I'm writing in it all the things I think it's useful to know. I've called it 'The Little Book of Hindsight ... or How Not To Bugger It Up'

I've put funny things in as well as serious things eg the correct response when a woman asks if her bum looks big in this (and an example of an incorrect response for fun). I've said try to save 1/4 of your net income etc etc.

I know he needs to learn by his own mistakes but I thought this would be nice - and it isn't a book of rules.

He knows I'm writing it and likes the idea but asked for it to be funny.

Please can you help.

Don't be afraid. Of anything ever. Apart from snakes.

arf @ Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things

Always ring your Mum, even if it is just to say Hello.

When you resign from a job, leave on good terms. You never know when you may need to work with those people again.

Don't get into the habit of wearing baggy trousers. You'll put on weight without realising.

The oldest one in the book (literally!) - treat others as you'd wish to be treated. Stop to think how your actions could impact another.

Take time to file paperwork as you receive it.

Don't eat anything bigger than your head.

Never be afraid to admit your mistakes.

What a lovely idea! - Some suggestions:

Be nice to the people you pass on the way up - you could meet them when you're on the way back down

Always keep your promises

If you don't know what it is, you don't need one! (Or similarly, Just because it's on sale, doesn't mean you have to buy it!)

Always paddle your own canoe - ask for help by all means, but always keep an oar of your own!

Never go to bed angry (stay up and fight )

No matter how tempting it is to 'pull an all-nighter' you will actually perform far better by cutting your losses, going to bed, having some sleep and getting up super early to finish it

Always get your essays read through by a friend, even if it's just for an ego-boost, but preferably to correct the spelling mistakes you don't notice on the tenth read-through.

Don't go into your overdraft. It's not your money, it's the bank's and they will want it back with interest. Once you have done it the first time it gets easier each subsequent time. Remember: they want you to owe them money because that's how they get rich. Resist all pressure to get a credit card for as long as possible.

Iron your work clothes at the very least, or pay someone to do it. People notice. Ditto for cleaning your work shoes. It will pay off in the long-run, unless you end up in academia where it doesn't matter

Oh, and vote. Unless you are landed gentry then people died so you could have a political voice. It doesn't matter if you turn up and spoil your ballot paper, so long as you turn up. There's a quite serious strand of political thought that says if people don't turn up to vote then they are happy with the status quo and politicians use this to justify all kinds of crap. Politicians will only make policy for people who vote, or who they think will vote for them.

"Don't flog a dead horse" if it really isn't working don't be ashamed to give up.

In my case a sponsored PHD that paid the mortgage, but I'm sure it applies to jobs too.

Always go for a walk on a sunny day.

Don't wallow - if you can't change it, find a way to live with it.

Be content.

Drive carefully, the opinion of that ned in the backseat is not worth injuring yourself over.

Never ever borrow money unless it's to fund your education or buy a house (wish I'd known that, will be drummed into DS from now on)

Don't stay in a bad relationship for fear of being alone

Always use a condom

Do 20 10 minutes of housework a day, every day

Look after your teeth

Don't start smoking!

Take photos - enjoy the memories. If you've printed them make sure to write the date and any names of people in them on the back.

Oh, good tip. Write names on pictures. The photographic evidence of my past is littered with Jocelyn Thingies and Martin Whodyamacallits.

I like the Bill Gates quote ' be nice to geeks, one will be your boss one day'

Don't be afraid to fail. If you haven't failed yet you are not a success.

Give praise in public, give criticism in private.

Cheap tools are a poor economy.

Life ain't a dress rehearsal. This is the only one you've got. Make it count.

Lovely idea.

Don't be afraid to say sorry or admit you're wrong; be wary of other people who never apologise or admit they're wrong.

Be really nice to your mum and dad - you think you're an adult so you'll never need them again, but you will!

"two ears, one mouth : listen twice as much as you talk"

"If you sit on the fence, all you get is splinters in your arse"

"When times are hard, remember this too shall pass"

And my absoloute favourite "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live"

Empty your pockets of change into a savings tin every night. Happy 18th LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance ds .

From my mum the day I passed my driving test:

You're better 2 minutes late in this world than 2 mins early in the next.

Set up a savings account you have no access to and put in a DD of 50 or 70 quid a month

Get a flask for coffee, don't go to coffee shops, but always have a Starbucks card with enough for 2 coffees in case of emergency date/friend-crying-on-shoulder

Its nice to remember your 18th and 21st birthdays, plenty of other days for getting so drunk you hit all 6 surfaces of the bathroom

Most of the time she wants you to shut up and listen to what is bothering her, she's not a vase, she doesn't need fixing, If she wants your help, she'll ask for help

Print photos out and have them on your wall

Your mum is usually right about pretty much everything, but you won't realise QUITE how much until you have your own DCs and by then she will be laughing and colluding with them. Buy her chocolate often to avoid this

If someone needs help or defending, don't run away. What goes around comes around

Don't try and reason with a toddler, dog or drunk roommate, just take away what they have got hold of and put them in their room

Oh, wow, LetsFace. What a fantastic idea. DS1 was 18 a few days ago. Do you mind if I pinch your idea, please? It sounds brilliant and just the type of personal thing that I couldn't think of myself.

my dad used to say every morning: "It's time to get up and hit the day between the eyeballs!" which is a great attitude to have

maintain a good credit rating, it will follow you around forever if you don't

nurture your friendships - boyfriends and girlfriends may come and go but good friendships will see you through all your ups and downs

Finally, a much used quote which I love (not sure who from) is: "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth"