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Please help me with my 'Little Book of Hindsight' for DS's 18th

204 replies

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/09/2012 08:19

Hi

My DS is 18 on Monday. (sob)

As my parents died when I was in my early 20s and I've really missed their advice over the years, I've bought a gorgeous little book and I'm writing in it all the things I think it's useful to know. I've called it 'The Little Book of Hindsight ... or How Not To Bugger It Up'

I've put funny things in as well as serious things eg the correct response when a woman asks if her bum looks big in this (and an example of an incorrect response for fun). I've said try to save 1/4 of your net income etc etc.

I know he needs to learn by his own mistakes but I thought this would be nice - and it isn't a book of rules.

He knows I'm writing it and likes the idea but asked for it to be funny.

Please can you help.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 14/09/2012 18:49

I love this thread! what a lovely idea op!

GoingBlankAgain · 14/09/2012 18:56

Neither a borrower or a lender be.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/09/2012 18:58

Tesco man just delivered all the food for tomorrow's party. Very excited here - though I won't be at the party of course!

Poor love has decided to go for physics revision class on the actual evening of his birthday ready for resits. Teenagers - soo irresponsible

OP posts:
turkeyboots · 14/09/2012 19:00

"Actions speak louder than words" and its close relation "path to hell is paved with good intentions" is good advice for relationships.

But for work "the sqeeky wheel gets the grease" seems truer.

TheWonderfulFanny · 14/09/2012 19:13

Make sure you treat yourself with the same respect you would accord someone else.

Self esteem is overrated, self respect not so much.

TheWonderfulFanny · 14/09/2012 19:14

Oh, and if you're going to drink wine and spout random shit on the internet, make sure it's somewhere lovely and anonymous Wink

TheWonderfulFanny · 14/09/2012 19:20

Oh oh oh... Just remembered the one, the only, Universal Truth.

You can never have too many teaspoons.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/09/2012 19:20

Missmap - now I come to think, that's mostly right re flat roofed pubs Smile

OP posts:
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/09/2012 19:26

You never have to put anything in your mouth that you don't want to.

And neither does your girlfriend.

OP posts:
travellingwilbury · 14/09/2012 19:35

I love the flat roof pub one , I have never been in a good one .

Shameless anyone ?

catgirl1976 · 14/09/2012 19:37

Never get involved with a married woman.

If you break that rule, make sure she is a happy one. An unhappy one will drag you into a hell of a mess.

The only exception to that rule is if you plan to marry her yourself.

catgirl1976 · 14/09/2012 19:43

Never cheat on a woman you are not prepared to break up with.

Money spent on dentistry and travel are never wasted.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/09/2012 19:43

Sorry Catgirl there ARE no exceptions to that rule for me. I'll stick with your first line Smile

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 14/09/2012 19:46

The first lines not a bad one. :-)

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 14/09/2012 19:50

Am with you 100% on that - and then some.

OP posts:
BustersOfDoom · 14/09/2012 20:06

Life is too short to waste it in a job or relationship that is making you unhappy. There will always be other jobs, partners and opportunities although it may not feel like it at the time.

You are never too old to learn something new, to try different things or to change direction. If teaching/stockbroking/insurance/retail is making you miserable then think about what you want to do and plan how you can get there.

Don't be afraid to give up on something if your heart isn't in it. Although I have the odd regret about giving up on my MSc the sense of relief when I decided I'd just had enough and was totally and utterly bored rigid with it and chucked the study material in the wheely bin told me I'd done the right thing.

Always treat people as you would want to be treated yourself and avoid those who don't treat others with respect.

Be a caring and generous friend/relative/partner/employee/employer/ but know when you are being taken advantage of. Learn how to say no and mean it.

Don't do drugs and don't start smoking. Work to live and not the other way round.

When you're thinking about buying property always go for the worst house in the best street rather than the best house in the worst street (My former colleague's bank manager husband gave me that gem)

Get a dishwasher. Spend ten minutes before you go to bed every night having a quick tidy up. Getting up/coming home to an untidy house is depressing. Keep up to your laundry. Buy as many clothes that don't need ironing as possible. Invest in a Miele vacuum, don't waste your money on a Dyson.

Take the opportunity to relax, chill out, enjoy the company of family and friends whenever you can. The older you get the more these moments will become precious to you and will become memories you will treasure.

And give your Mum a great big smacker and a bear hug. She sounds absolutely lovely and I wish I'd thought of such a special gift to give to my boy. Happy Birthday x

BustersOfDoom · 14/09/2012 20:09

Oh and don't buy cheap wine or cheap coffee. They both taste like shit Grin

catgirl1976 · 14/09/2012 20:13

Drugs should be behind you by the time you are 25

Learn which bridges to cross and which to burn

Do not become a father until you are prepared to put another human being ahead of youself. All the time, for the rest of you life.

Never walk past someone selling the big issues. It is not charity, it is a job.

Strain ever fibre of your being to resist hating someone you once loved

Be decent and kind to all the people who cannot do anything for you

Self pity id more destructive than herion

A lifetime is a flash of lightening in the sky

Be honest. To youself, and to others.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 14/09/2012 20:21

Don't worry if you don't know what you want to do with your life by the time you graduate. Some of the most interesting people take longer to figure it out - just don't get trapped in the job you fall into but don't enjoy.

Can obviously be amended for those not going to university.

If you are not naturally close to your siblings, work hard to try to at least keep in contact. You may not feel you need them now, but you probably will when you are old, or perhaps when your parents are.

DontmindifIdo · 14/09/2012 20:28

Oh yes, "only sleep with a married person if you are the person they are married too"

coldcupoftea · 14/09/2012 20:29

Believe it or not, this one was from Jade Goody's autobiography, dedicated to her sons:

'they say you haven't lived until you have found something you would die for. You two are proof that I have lived'.

I was never much of a Jade fan, but I read this in the paper and it stayed with me, still chokes me up!

BustersOfDoom · 14/09/2012 20:55

Read the Red Flags thread in relationships and take note. People have lived through some atrocious crap and trauma and have posted some good advice you should take heed of. Women can be just as controlling and abusive as men. Just because you are a man and 'people' think it doesn't happen doesn't mean you should put up with it. People who care about you will believe you and help you.

Wear clean pants and socks every day and unless you're an Olympic cyclist don't shave below the waist. It just looks really, really grim. Someone described it as looking like the 'last chicken in the shop' for a reason. A bit of a trim is fine but baldy bits? Ewwww!

HibernoCaledonian · 14/09/2012 20:56

I can't believe I forgot - Never be too embarrassed or too proud to ask for help if you need it.

JellicleCat · 14/09/2012 21:00

My Mum's advice to me was "positive thinking". When I am anxious about something I still mutter "positive thinking".

Mine to DD is "Everyone is good at something, no-one is good at everything"

And my exam advice is "Always read the question"

Don't know how you feel about risque ones, but I've quoted the "A gentleman always takes his weight on his elbows" one a few times Blush

SocialButterfly · 14/09/2012 21:00

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably shit