Please help me with my 'Little Book of Hindsight' for DS's 18th

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Hi

My DS is 18 on Monday. (sob)

As my parents died when I was in my early 20s and I've really missed their advice over the years, I've bought a gorgeous little book and I'm writing in it all the things I think it's useful to know. I've called it 'The Little Book of Hindsight ... or How Not To Bugger It Up'

I've put funny things in as well as serious things eg the correct response when a woman asks if her bum looks big in this (and an example of an incorrect response for fun). I've said try to save 1/4 of your net income etc etc.

I know he needs to learn by his own mistakes but I thought this would be nice - and it isn't a book of rules.

He knows I'm writing it and likes the idea but asked for it to be funny.

Please can you help.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Sidge - no it's not too late. The party was last night but his birthday is on Monday so I'm still writing in the book. I'm also leaving pages for him to add his own as he learns stuff for himself. I'd love to think he'll pass it on to his own kids.

I wonder what the house looks like this morning

[Thingiebob]

Be nice to the people you pass on the way up - you could meet them when you're on the way back down

Time heals.

[Thingiebob]

If you have your family and health, then things are ok.

No job, relationship, situation is worth making yourself ill over. Stress is a killer.


Sorry, just realised I may have duplicated some.

[Geeklette]

I love this thread! So pleased it's been moved to classics.

I grew up with the following advice, that still rings true today:

No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission (Eleanor Roosevelt?)

A woman's place is anywhere she wants to be.

Have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference (adapted from the Prayer of Serenity)

And as a person working in tech support, I would add:

Have you tried switching it off and on again?

RTFM (Read the frickin manual) - this one also goes for any kind of instructions!

TALK to people! Communication will fix 99.99% of problems - usually before they even arise.

"I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything" only works for Bart Simpson!

[BikeRunSki]

Don't make promises you can't keep.

At work don't send an email to someone in the same building. Gio and speak to them. Same with phone calls. If you are good at your job your reputation will go before you, and it never hurts for people to be able to put your face to your name.
acce
When you are going to a job interview, know where you are going, how to get there, where to park. If they offer you a glass of water, accept it, then take a sip when you need thinking time.

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

Right.
The house was fine. The kids had a great time and I've wrapped up the book all ready for tomorrow.

Thanks so much to everyone for helping out

[TheOneWithTheHair]

Happy Birthday your ds!! I hope you have a good day and he loved the book.

[OlympickingMyNose]

Happy birthday to your ds, op. He is very lucky to have a dm as lovely and thoughtful as you

[BrainSurgeon]

Happy birthday to your DS OP - he's a lucky boy

And thank you so much for this thread, it's lovely and has inspired me to do something similar for my DS

[nankypeevy]

this is a luuuverly idea.

Thanks for the thread, hope that DS treasures it. And, reads it, obviously!

[Whirliwig72]

Sleep lots now before you have children.

Lay out your clothes and organise stuff you need for the next day the night before.

If you get good service take the person's name and let their manager know how brilliant they were afterwards.

Take lots of part time classes in subjects you love.

Sing solo in public at least once in your life.

Do a daily little act of kindness to help those around you: leave 50p in a phone box, pay someone's bus fare for them, help a mum by entertaining her toddler while she packs her shopping, leave little notes in public to cheer up the recipient

[perfectstorm]

Leave well. You never know when someone from your last job will be at your next. It's a surprisingly small world.

When things are really, really dreadful, know that one day you will look back and just be amazed that you got through them... and so grateful that life is better now. It just never feels possible at the time.

Never, ever throw good love after bad. It isn't wasting the past to walk away. It's wasting the future if you don't.

Always prioritise your (underage) kids over your lover. It's your job, and their right. If you don't, they will never forgive you when they grow up - and they'll be justified.

The job of being a parent is not to create an easy child. It's to have a decent, solvent, responsible and reasonably contented adult at the other end. Until you're all there, nobody knows who is getting it right, and anyway genes and luck account for an unknown proportion... so never listen to anyone who insists they are perfection in parenting form.

[perfectstorm]

If you get good service take the person's name and let their manager know how brilliant they were afterwards.

Oh, I love this one! I agree. Used to mean a lot to me when I had that feedback, and now I am scrupulous over doing it myself.

[zebrafinch]

Worry is interest paid before its due

[BeaWheesht]

Mine would be don't trust people who don't have old friends but have lots of new ones, theres probably a reason for that.

Be nice

Laugh at yourself when you need to but have the confidence to stand your ground when needed

When you get your own place keep on top of housework from day one, once it's built up its so so mug harder to fix

Don't ever drop good friends for a partner, if your partner expects you to then they do not have your best interests at heart

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

It isn't wasting the past to walk away, it's wasting the future if you don't

That is great!

[TheSkiingGardener]

I know it's too late for the book, but thought I would add these:

Never put down, always put away

Always have a life plan. Life will kick you about and your plan will change and that's ok, but in the calm between the storms it helps to know where you're headed.

[SundaeGirl]

One glass of water to every glass of wine. Stop drinking straight after pudding and accept the coffee.

[cabbagewhite]

this is a good one too

www.rethinkip.com/archives/remember_the_bucket.html

[MiniMonty]

I like this idea and I've stolen (borrowed) it - thanks.
In return here are a few:

1. if you wait until you're ready you'll never do a thing.
   
2. you catch a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar.
   
3. a man chases a woman until she catches him.
   
4. the first rule of the game is: stay in the game...
   
5. learn to control your language - with that you can control everything else.

[AmberLeaf]

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, its probably shit.

[zipzap]

My dad's favourite piece of advice was live every day as if it were your last because one day it will be. Twas one of the last things he said to me before he died (completely unexpectedly).

His other bit of advice was if you have kids then the first 51 years are the worst

[GirlWithALlamaTattoo]

I know I'm way too late here, but I think my Dad's advice is worth sharing.

Never settle for second best, and never give up on your dreams.

[gumbo611]

Over a month late but had to add "Your mother is always right" I wish I had listened to mine when I was younger, she always ended up being right! Hope the 18th was good.x

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

I just wandered back in here after someone on chat asked to be pointed towards it. Some of those 'latecomers' are definitely going in.

He loved the book and he's started adding to it - which is just what I hoped for.

He put in 'We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing'.

Nice