Ode To Bradley Wiggins

[HalfMumHalfBiscuit]

Oh Wiggins, oh Bradley
I love you quite madley
You look tres sexee
In the yellow jersey
Vous etes tres bon
Avant le peloton
With your mates Cav and Froome
To Paris you'll zoom
Do your side burns help you steer?
When you win I will shed a tear.

[downbythewater]

Can't believe this thread passed me by today! I was watching the live updates on the Guardian while working, so fantastic! Watched it since the year he came 4th, he so deserves this.

Waiting for DH to get home so we can watch the highlights!

[evilgiraffe]

Down - enjoy the highlights! It was incredibly tense, I was terrified they weren't going to catch the breakaway in time. Speaking of which, isn't Jens Voigt marvellous too? I do find I mentally berate myself in his voice when toiling up pitiful fenland excuses for hills: "SHUT UP LEGS"

I'm going to tweet a link to this thread. Brace yourselves, ladies, we may soon have lots of lovely talented cycling chappies (or their wives) turn up...

[mybabyweightiseightyearsold]

I've met him. He's Vair Tawl.

And, I've rubbed Chris Hoy's legs. They're Vair Firrum.

And, an entire peleton once ogled my tits. I had no idea why they were ALL so thirsty. Damn you, v necked t-shirt flapping in the breeze at 30mph....

Sigh.

Stuff yir poetry. Ah've goat memries.

[maillotjaune]

Jens Voigt is a true gent. And he still gets in breakaways even though he's nearly as old as me!

I have to say "shut up legs" just to get up the stairs these days

[mybabyweightiseightyearsold]

Oh yes, and, well done, Bradley.

Bravo.

Now, you lot can bugger off, I'm away to think about when my breasts were enough to almost cause a crash. Sigh. Memries.

[scotlass]

Well done Wiggo, Cav and all of sky. What a team.

Have watched the tour for years under duress and whilst not the most exciting year has definitely been good to be British!

Am shite at poetry so will not embarrass myself.

[thatlldopigthatlldo]

Bradley Wiggins, with legs so silky,
with you ginger hair and skin so milky,
You've got no biceps, nor triceps I suppose
But you do have a very aerodynamic nose.
You've won our hearts, you've won le Tour,
Let's hope the olympics brings medals galore.
But please promise this
Give Lesley Garret a miss
What the fuck was that
She's a bit of a twat.

Vive le tour x

[HalfMumHalfBiscuit]

lol babyweight.

Pmsl thatlldo.

Can we have a yellow jersey emoticon. Just til Saturday.

[TalcAndTurnips]

Wiggins, Froome, Rogers, Porte

All Team Sky - and very sporty

Hagen, Eisel, Cavendish, Knees

They make it worth my licence fee(s)

And Siutsou, Sir (he did not finish -

• But let that not his efforts diminish)
  

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Now look here, Sky - I pay you whacks

In order to receive your HD packs

This thread is just free publicity

So I was rather hoping that you could see

Your way to giving me cheap satellite.

And while you're there - Disney Channel's shite.

[BlackandGold]

Oh Bradley Wiggins, what shall we do?
You've gone and won the Tour de France
And captured our hearts too
We just love your riding
And such a gentleman too
Oh Mr Wiggins what a luvverly thing to do

To the tune of Oh Mr Porter.......

[evilgiraffe]

Talc - not so much free satellite, I'd settle for them releasing the stranglehold on the formula one coverage Fab poem though!

That'll - "aerodynamic nose" is inspired

[HalfMumHalfBiscuit]

Apparently the guys aren't partying, they are on their way to London to prepare for the games!

Awesome dedication.

[evilgiraffe]

Excellent. No reply to my tweet yet, though, :( mind you they're probably all asleep, there's a hell of a lot of effort gone into the last three weeks!

I'm so frustrated that I'm going to a wedding on Saturday - I want to go to Box Hill and fangirl over Cav, but sadly not. Granted the wedding will be fun, but arrrrgh conflicting priorities!

[Aladdinsania]

Upthread quote- "You're truly an amazing rider
You make all the others look pants
Arise Sir Bradley Wiggins
King of the Tour de France" .. Happy days. Well done Wiggo

[iffysquiffy]

Wiggo is my hero
Cav I'd have to have
Miss Garrett you looked a fool
The rest just make me drool


Loved the donkeys dressed in cycle tops

[HalfMumHalfBiscuit]

Dear Brad you proved you are the best
Not for you to have a rest
On to the Mall to set the pace
So GB win the cycle race
The spin on the velodrome
I wish I was there to see you bring gold home
Then bring on the champage and grog
And party like a total Mod.


I will try to improve this later, sorry.

[JumpJockey]

And did those thighs, in recent times,
Pump on the Champs Ely-y-sees?
And did the cheery face of mod
Sweat forth upon a sunny day?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon those Gallic hills?
And was the Wiggins cycling hard and fast
And showing off his sprinting skills?

Bring me my bike of carbon frame!
Bring me my shorts of ly-y-cra!
Bring me my jersey, garb of fame!
Bring me my drop handlebar!
I will not cease from biking toil
Nor shall my feet rest in their cleats
Til all of Britain's out cy-c-ling
On narrow uncom'ftable seats!

[CapuccinoCannoliLover]

These odes are fantastic!

[McKayz]

Brilliant thread!!

I met Wiggins a couple of years ago at the Tour of Britain and he is a lovely guy.

[twitmericks]

There is a Brit cyclist named Bradley
Whose Tour de France didn't end badly
Our man won the day
On the Champs-Élysées
As spectators applauded him madly.

Love the thread.

[squoosh]

Mods make me squirm.

They are so wanky about the length of their sideburns, the amount of buttons on their shirts.

But well done Bradley. Plus extra points for having a comedy surname!

[mylovelymonster]

BIG TdF household here, and been watching Wiggins just get better & better the last 5 years. The last few weeks have been so exciting, and we are in awe of Team Sky. Congratulations to all of them. They are an inspiration, and Wiggins, Froome & Cav!! must be on cloud 9 after what they've achieved, and the possibilities for the coming Tours. Just amazing. We had a few tears and we've never met the guys!
Great poems!!

[mylovelymonster]

Saw on the news this morning Wiggo doing a lap of honour with his young son yesterday (on a smaller yellow bike ) How proud must that family be! So incredibly deserved.........................

[NarkedRaspberry]

And the French don't get what they always want
But they took the mountains and that's quite enough -
You took the maillot jaune (took the maillot jaune)
And the cow bells ring and it's raffle time
You took the maillot jaune (took the maillot jaune)
You survived carpet tacks and helped leadout Cav, next it's London.

(Sorry to Paul Weller)

[squoosh]

Am I right in thinking Lance Armstrong is currently embroiled in a doping scandal?